FUN AND FANCY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 6901, 15 September 1900, Page 3

FUN AND FANCY.

Very Popular GtvmxOt Heads. — Aspars* Any. actress oux paint* but only^ • few can draw. ' .... , . „ " Marriage," wajLthe cynic, "makes txta one by reducing, one to a ciujier." : Almost every woman believes that sht would be beautiful if she had the clothes. Ho : " Will you be mine?" She : " Hardly that,. Henry. Why can't vr* arrtnge it «> that each, of us will "be ours?" ; t '■■ Friend: . "Hullo, old chappd*. /Fallen in?!' Dripping Angler : ',' You don't suppose this is * pejsparation, d.o .you,?" Maggie: «Wtoat;oaa» I do -vyheji they both say tlbey tore. m«r .Dolly: "Marry tie itm, you feel *ba least pity for, door." Mb: "Tommy, /you seean to love jm, better ta&B-ybu dlo me.". . Tommy : *' Oh, ma, I dfeb't-aiwMi to- ; Jbut y*. «c, pa allus has Ms pockets Ml o''mckel«." ."Sure/.Pat, amd wfty oie j» wearin'yet '■ooob totttota^up toike ttwfc on a warm day loiOce this?" " Faith-, yer rivcrenoe to toid« the glriirt Oi haven't got , on." Auntie: ." WShafcareyou doing, Tommy J* Tommy: "We're besieged. We've run short of Worses and "cows, and so we juaye t» fall Wk on maoaTOons." Teacher (suspidously) : " Who wrote you* coanposltib'a, JoBmoyi?" Johnny:. "Mjf fatlher." Teacher: "Who*, all of itr Johnny : " No'm ; I helped him." Idealist •. " True happiness is found in pursuing sometibing, not in catching , it. . Practical Man* : " The man who purimejs tih« last omndbus home knows better !" ' < Flavdlla: "There e/re only two kinds oi bawhelors." Myrtille: "And wtoo arj they?" Flavilla: ."Those who are too timid to propose, and those <w3k> ore too courag* ous." . : " Friend : " I suppose fibe baby is fond oi you?" Papa: "Fond of me? Whjr, hi sleeps all day whan I'm not at hoQie^ and stay* 'up all night just .*o enjoy my so- : 6ie&r- '■■ ■•■-■• ■■';■./;.■ .. , , ;•■■ . 'Mttl%aini: "Ivery dfcy Umb sumaner 0] got ttp^eiu^^e^ to go to work than Oi. difl the dbff- before ; &nV>Oi figgers Oi M 6ne wwee' ftirwgpt nom. tihan iwWjq rQfc, b& ginc**." • .. ... " . "Why did you. break off your sogagemenb with Miss Bertha?" " Because het parrot was always saying ' Stop' that, George."' "But what difference did thai make? Your engagement was not a secret. " But my name is not George." "Mother doesn't think she'll go' to tht tiheatre wrbh us to-nigiht, Albert." "Is thai so? I have got three tickets. What shall Ido with -Wi© *lflrd omV " Give it to tih« matt you always go out to see between th 4 acts. He can sit witihi us, and 1 you woni have to go out to see him." ~ A ahop-keeper wrote to one of his custo; mers as follows : "I am able to offer yotl clobh like the enclosed sample at h«lf 8 crown a yard. In case Ido not hea£ fjpni you, I siball concludie that you wish "to pay only two shdllingß a yard. In order to lost no time, I accept the .last-mentioned price.*- --" Oh, we had the loveliest arrangement a< our church society last week! Every !wo« man contributed) to the missionary oaust five dollars, which she earned herself by hard work." " How did you get yours?*"From my busband." "I shouldn't. caM that qarfra^g it yourself by hard yvork. " You don't know my husband I"