THE IDLER.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 5279, 8 June 1895, Page 4

THE IDLER.

" Lord save us from the devil, the Turk, and the comet," the people of Christendom "prayed when the Turks had possessed themselves of Constantinople, and a big comet appeared in the heavens. Superstitious weren't they ? • But, blesß us, people are just' as bad to-day in that regard— a good many of them, that is— and just as frightened about comets. "On Nov. 13, 1899, the earth will be destroyed by a comet." I suppose some of my readers have come across the prediction, which, at any rate, has the merit of being decidedly more epecific than such aB Nostradamus and Mother Shipton were wont to give utterance to, or than modern day eeers ueually indulge in. Suppose it wera true ? Why, in that caße we need not worry so much over some of the problems tbat confront us, and the injunction to "take no thought for the morrow" would have new significance.

# It had been in my mind to workup quite a scare over the aforesaid prediction, only some of those scientific fogies came along and knocked the whole thing into the provarbial cocked hat. First of all, they want into the doctrine of chances, after this manner :— " If tha nucleus of a comet bo a quarter of the size of our earth, there iB one chance in two hundred and eighty-one millions that it wili run against one of these bodies. In other wordß, ib means the same as if an individual were to be executed upon drawing the emgle winte ball among 281,000,000 contained in an urn. The number of comets which pass through our solar system varies between ten and twenty. Under these circumstances tbe earth ehould coliide with a comet about once in two million years. That is a long time, but it does not assist v. in determining the chances. If tbe earth collided with a comet 10,000 years ago it is, of course, not very likely that a similar accident will tako place within the next million yeara."

Still, there is just a chance, and what then? Agam the "etufflng" is knocked out. In 1886, we are reminded, a comet did run its stupid head against tho planet Jupiter, and, like Stephenson's cow on the railway line, got the worst cf it : it waa knocked into smithereens. Of course the crucial point i., Of what is a comet composed ? And if we could but know what tbe inhabitants of Jupiter thought about that comet, some queer things mipht be disclcs.d. Meanwhile we must p.rforce be content with the assurance that "When the earth approaches the head of a comet, the event is generally marked by a shower of meteors— a very beautiful, but harmless, phenomena." All things considered, I have come to the conclusion that the prediction aforeßaid ia not worth being 'considered.

One hears people sighing sometimes about the " good old times," but one generally discovers, after a few minutes' conversation, that their sighing ia the complaining of ignorance that fails to realise what beneficial changes have taken place. Thnt admirably conducted journal, the Leeds Mercury, recently told off one of its representatives to interview a local patriarch. We are not told his age, but everybody in the district knowß him as "Old Abraham Sugden," and Abraham proved to be very outspoken in hia comments on the relative advantages of " then " and " now." He was only too ready to admit that " working folk might be better off," but, looking back on hiß own experience, he had no possible shadow of doubt as to the ameliorations that had come about. Here ia a part of what he said as to the conditions obtaining in the days of hia youth:—

V "For breakfast they got oatmeal porridge or boiled milk with oat-cake in it. Too frequently their dinner waa the earne aa breakfast. The ' drinking ' — that is tea— usually consisted of oat-cake with a little dripping, if that could be obtained, and a pint of home-brewed." The house accommodation was also bad, workingmen. cottages being rudely constructed, comfortless places. And the^ hours of workmen were long— "from six in the morning till eight at night— and mosb of them might be known by their pale faces and bleared eyes. So tired were they when they had done their day's work that, having taken their supper, they would tumble into bed unwashed, jußt as they had come from the loom." Working people, too, Abraham added, were poorly clad. " A man got a Sunday suit when he got married, and it had to serve him the rest of his life." So much for the good old times !"

# How oddly some ot the moat important discoveries of gold have -been made., furnishing for the history of mining a chapter of accidentß peculiarly ita own. At Nelson, the other day, a lad found some glittering atone on the foreshore near low water mark, and took a piece to hia achool teacher. A pestle-and-mortar crushing, we are told, "revealed the presence of gold in such considerable quantity, that it may safely be aaid it was equal to over one hundred ounces to the ton." Query: Where ia the reef from which that piece of quartz was broken? Aye, there's the rub. A man showed me, the other day, a piece of marvellously rich quartz that he had picked up in one of the tributaries of the Waimakaririj and he would uncommonly like to know where the reef ' ia, for a few tons equal to Bam pie would enable him to* smoke his pipe in peace for the rest of his days. He hopes to find the spot— —some day.

# By the way, whence come the fine flakes of gold that are plentifully mingled with the" ruby sand" found on the beach npfc far from Lake Elleamere ? Ido not remember that anyone has ever answered that question. The black grains you see in the sand are apparently pure iron, and it ia a curious experiment to draw a small magnet through a little . heap of the sand, and note how exquisitely it is festooned with the gathered particles.

# " Ono touch of Nature makes the whole world kin." There is one touch of Nature that runs through schoolboys everywhere, and that is tho intense enjoyment of a holiday, particularly if the release from school comes unexpectedly. There waß a delightfully unsophisticated outburst of enthusiasm amongst the schoolboys at Napier the other day. Oao teacher after another was smitten with influenza, until there came a morning when the scholars were confronted with the announcement that the he.ad-master himself was " laid by the heels," and that there could be. no schooling for several days. The assembled boys, the local journal reporta, received the intelligence calmly, but when they were onco outside of the building one shiny-faced boy mounted a stone and cried, "Three cheers, boys, for the influenza." And the cheers were given with a heartiness that showed there waa joy in each hurrah.

* A London constable found himself recently in a perilous position. He waa marching along hia beat, in the usual uniform, terminating with the usual sized boota, when two women attacked him in an extraordinary manner. Police-conßtable Thomas King was ready to aver that the attractiveness preaentci by him waa of the every-day Bort; ho had not oven indulged in Binging, as with some appropriateness he might have done, " King of the Boad am 1." Yet the ladies made a dead set at him. They seized him round tho neck, and standing on their tip-toes, wished to kiss — in fact, they strenuously insisted on the privilege. Happily, he was a head taller than they, and waa able, by simply drawing himselt up to hia full height, to prevent thoir amorous designs- but he could not disentangle himself from their attentions, or from the crowd which assembled in expectation of witnessing tbe ceremony, excent by t.kiug the laoiea into custody. "You ara sure they did not kiss you?" asked Mr Piowden «t Marylebo*i<\ "Quite, your Worship," replied King, *' they were too ebor*. to r^&ch my face." "Then you had a narrow escape," remarked the Magistrate* -who» tu/ming'to the- crestfallen

dames, further remarked that their oon* duot had taken a somewhat dangerous form, for it was impossible to estimate'the consequences had they succeeded in their efforts. They might have wanted to kiss half the population. Having advised them to put a check upon themselves in tho future, he discharged them. The ladies then left the court in the company of their husbands.

The Eight Eev William David Walker, the Bishop of North Dakqta, has his cathedral upon wheels : — " It is a railway car specially built at Pullman, Illinois, at a oost of 3000 dollars, to visit the widelyscattered villages on the lines of the Northern _?aoi€c, Chicago, Milwaukee and St Paul, Great Northern and •Soo* railroads, within the limits of North Dakota. It is sixty-four feet long, and its principal external feature is a Gothio projection or transept. At one end is the chancel, with altar, lectern and font, and at one side iB a oabinet organ. The body of the cathedral is equipped with eighty chairs. In the rear of the chancel is what Bishop Walker calls the episcopal palace. By day it serves aa the study, rectory, robing room, and, on occasion, as a kitohen. At night a berth is let down, and the episcopal palace becomes the bishop's bed-chamber." One advantage of this arrangement would seem to be that if the people won't go to ohurch, the chnrob can be taken to the people.

S. Lip pee. Diabe.