Fun and Fancy.

Star (Christchurch), 30 September 1893, Page 3

Fun and Fancy.

True happiness is found in trying t» catch something that is not catching. The smallest thing atthe Chicago Exhi* bition will be the amount of cash you brine away. . , Attorney : " Now sir, can't you remembei all that was said on . that . evening P " Witness : " No, indeed ! " " But yon heard it? " "Tes, but there were six women talking." Little Mibb Freckles: "J made ugly faces at your stuck-up sister the oilier day, but I guess ahe didn't see ma," Little Johnny : " Yea, she did j but she thought they was natural." - - . Mistress .- " How is it one never hean. a sound in tho kitchen when your sweetheart iB with you of an evening? " Ser rant girl s " Please, ma^am, the poor fellowis «o bashful yet; for the present he'doesnotliing ibtit 63_t*- «.. ... -.'_.._ V . t». ,* ' A Friend : ." What makos you ao ..•*&&& t Tour play haß been a great success, hisa ifc not ?" Dramatist f " Yes, but I . had . ia my pocket a splendid article on "the incapacity of critics . and ths want of discrimination on the part of 'tha public" * . Druggist : "What's the matter wiflh you? You seem excited." Clerk- 1 " Heavens ! I sold Mr Smiley strychnine instead of potash." Druggist : v Well, H\ you ain't the most careless idiot I ever saw. Tou seem to have no idea of the value of strychnine." Two soldiers lay nnder their blanketa looking up at the stars. Sayß Jack : " What made you go into the army, Toml" " Well," replied Tom, "I had no wifo, and I loved war, Jack ; so I went. What made yon goP" "Well," returned JaoJr, " I had a wife, and I loved peace, Tom j so I went." .■•„.;' Scene on deok of a mail steamer at sea-* -ffi.thetic Passenger (to Old 8alt): "Can you tell me, my good man, the named! that five bird hovering aboUti?" Old Salt: "That's a halbatroSs, sir." -2E.P.. "Dear me! quite a rwra avis, is it not?'* O. S. : " Dunno, sir. . I've always heerd it called a halbatrosa/ 1 . : M, P.: "Yes, yes, my good fellow, but I call that a rara avid just as I call you. a genue homo." O.S. (indignantly) : « Oh, do you ?, Then Loillr that a halbatross, just the same _._ T j*__l.f you a bloomin' 'upibug." '•■'■' '