A BOAT-LOAD OF NAVAL STORES.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 3950, 15 December 1880, Page 4

A BOAT-LOAD OF NAVAL STORES.

A ship from Port Glasgow was recently lying in fcho harbour at New Orleans, when an Irish emigrant camo on board, and thus addressed the cook, who wa3 also Irish : — " Are you the mate ? " " No," said he, " but I'm the man as boils the mate." A. sailor on board one of Her Majesty's ships, who had been for several years' on a foreign station, and had hardly ever been on shore, asked leave to have a trip by land, and, accordingly, proceeded to Aluerstoke, where for the first "time in his life he witnessed a funeral. Ho was ovidently very much surprised at the ceremonial, and when he returned on board at night could talk of nothing but what he had steu in the ohureh yard. " Why, whafc d'yo think they doeß with the dead corpses ashore ? " said he to a shipmate. " How should I know ? " said the other. " Why, then, Bill, may I never stir," replied Jack, "but they pufc 'em up in boxes, and directs 'em." A lady at eea, full of apprehension in a gale of wind, cried out, among other pretty exclamations, " "Wo shall all go to the bottom ; mercy on us, how my head swima!" " Zounds, madam, never fear," said one of the sailors, " you can never go to tho bottom while yoar head swims." Admiral Duncan's address to the officers of his fleet, when they came on board his ship for his final instructions, previous to the memorable engagement with Admiral* De Winter, was couched in the following laconic and humorous manner : — " Gentlemen of my fleet, you see a very severe Winter fast approaching, and I have only to advise you to keep up a good fire." At a grand review by Georgo 111., of the Portsmouth fleet, in 1789, there was a boy who mounted the shrouds with so much agility os to surprise overy spectator. The king particularly noticed it, and said to Lord Lothian, " Lothian, I have heard much of your agility ; let us see you run up after that boy." "Sire," replied Lord Lothian, " it is my duty to follow yqur Majesty." During the war of 1796 a sailor went into a watchmaker's shop in the city, and handing oufc a small French watch to the ingenious artist, demanded how much the repairs would come to. The watchmaker, looking at it, said it would cosfc him moro in repairs tban the original purchase. " Oh, if that is all, I don'fc mind that," replied tho sailor ; " I will even give doublo tho original cost, for I havo a veneration for tho watch." " What might you have given for it ? " inquired the watchmaker. " Why," said Jack, twitching his trousers, " I gave a French fellow a knock on the head for it, and if you'll repair ifc, I'll give you two." " Massa," said a black steward to his captain, as they fell in with a homeward-bound vessel, "I wish you would write a few lines for mo to the old woman, 'cause I can't writo." The good-natured skipper complied, and wrote all that Pompey dictated. As the captain was about to seal up the letter, the black asked him to put in, " Pleas 'souse bad viritin 1 andspillin'."