PUTTING DOWN THE WINDOWS.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 3799, 18 June 1880, Page 3

PUTTING DOWN THE WINDOWS.

This is a soason of the year when a man nny expect to be suddenly called at any moment in the night to get up and put down lho windows. On tho udvent of a thunder ahower it, is rarely that a man wakes first. If he should, ho keeps quiet, bo us not to disturb his wife, and avails hiiiuclf of the first, lull to go to sleep again. How differently a woman ucta— oh, so differently! Just, us soon as she wakes up und hears it is ruining, sho S"cms to lose all judgment, ut otice. She plants hoih of her feet in her husband's hack, und at the same (ime catching him hy the hair and shaking his head, and hysterically screams, "Got up) get up, quick' It's a pouring down in torrents, and all the window.' are up !" He cannot wake up under such circumstances with on immediately clear con-

cepdon of M-e c.ise; in fact, it frequently happens Mint he is away out on the floor before his .-yes are fairly' opon, having but, one idea really ut work, and that as fo what he is d- ing out of bed. The first thing to do is to strike a light, and while ho ia moving round for the matches, and swearing that some one has broken into the houao and moved tbem from where he had laid them on going to bed (whi.h ia always plausible enough), she hurla uffer him the following tonics—" Do hurry ! Mercy, how tbe rain is coming right int) those windows ! We won't !™' ° a Cftrpet left if - TOU don,t moro faster - What on earth are you doing all this time ? Cant find the matchea? Mercy sake, you aint going to stumble round hero looking for matches, are you, when tho water is drowning us out ? Go without a light. What a man you are ; I might have better got up m tlie first place. Well ! (despairingly) let the things go to ruin if you are a mind to. Ive said all I'm going to, an' don't cure if the whole house goea to smash. You always would have your own way, an' I s'pose you always will, and now you can do as you please; but don't you dare to open your mouth to me aboufc ifc when the ruin's done. Ive talked an' talked till I'm tired to death, and I shan't talk any mere. Wo never could keep anything decent, and we never can ; and so that's the end of it. (A very brief pause.) John Henry, are you or lire you rot going to thut down those windows ? " Just then he finds the matches, and breaks tbe discourse by striking a liglit. He was bound to have that help before he moved oufc of the room. He has got the lamp lighted now. No sooner doea its glare fill the room than he immediately blowa ifc oufc again for obvioua reasons. He had forgotten the windows were open and tho brevity of hia nightshirt, It almost causes him to shiver when ho thinks of his narrow escape. H**- moves out into the other room with celerity now. He knows pretty well the direction to go, and when a flash of lightning comes it shows him on the verge of climbing over a atool or acroaa the centre-table. If there ia a rocking-chair in the house he will strike ifc. A rocking-chair ia much surer in its aim tbana streak of lightning. I never misses, and it never hits a man in bufc one spot, and that is jusfc at fche base of his shin. We have f-illen against; more than 800 rockers of all patterns and prices, and always received the firsfc blow in the one place. We have been with dying people, and have heard them affirm iv the solemn hush of that last hour, that a rocking chair always hits a man on the shin first. And when a man gets up in the dead of the night to shut down windows, ho never misses the rocking chair. Ifc is fche rear end of ono of the rockers which catches bim. Ifc ia a dreadful agony. But he rarely cries out. He knows his audienco too well. A woman never fulls over a rocking-chair, and she nevor will understand why a man does. Bufc she can tell whether he has, by the way he puts down the windows when ho finally reaches fchem. A rocking-chair window (if we may be allowed the term) can be heard three time's as far as any other. — TDanburt/ N/<ws.