THE MAGIC PILL.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 2685, 3 November 1876, Page 3

THE MAGIC PILL.

There livod in New England a long time ago An eooentrio old woman named Barbara' Pitoh ; Her neighbours had never molested her, though Sho was always avoided as being a witoh, But they burned, then, suoh old single ladies down East— Beduoing tho surplus of females, at least. She was dying ; ond over hor leaned Parson Oook, To oatoh hor last words as she gasped, " Parson, a dish Stands there — in the oupboard — and on the dish— look, Is a pill—if you swallow— it grants you one wish. I've saved it in oase of a need— through the fast— find it is porfootly neodloss— at last." Sd sho died. Then the good Parson Oook shook his head :— "I know the thing's evil, I doubt if it'e bosfc Tokoepifc to tempt me,- but— hum— well," ho said, " '3 will afc least do no harm in the fob of my vest." For though in no wise resolution we fail, Yet we like to hold Nicholas just by the tail. That night, as he sat by the hearth with his wife, While the blazing logs snapped and the teakettle sung, The rheumatios kept teasing his limbs and his life, A token that now he no longer was young ; For thoro's nothing like sickness and pain to remind Old age of the years it is leaving behind. Ho fingered the pill, and he sighed, and said ho, "There is something quite wrong in our poor mortal life. If I had arranged ifc, it surely would bo That age should not have all the bitterest strifo. Ah mo 1" sighed the Parson ; " I wish I were young ;" And tho little round pill glided over his tongue. Tho mosfc misohiovous thing in this world is the tongue, It never says just what we mean and desiro. Parson Oook had not said when he'd cease growing young ; . He had leaped from the frying-pan into the fire. The lobster gets easily into the pot. But he oannot get out if he wishes or not. So at first good Dame Cook, felt exceedingly proud, To soo how muoh younger her husband was growing ; How his oraoked piping voice beoame lusty and loud, And in his white looks how the brown hair was showing. "Ho looks "—so the gossips all said to his wifo— " Oh, ovor so young for his season of life." Bufc it soomed the pill's power, like wine or cognao, Had boen waxing muoh stronger tbe older it grew; For tbo terrible rate that his life hurried baok From tho age it hod reaohed, was as fifty to two; As the sohool-boy, who loiters off slowly to sohool, Buns rapidly baok, as a general rulo. So the ohuroh that he preaohed in disoharged him because Within less thau a year he looked scarcely nineteon. And to havo suoh a very young minister was Just a littlo too much of a scandal, I ween ; And soaroo two months after, his beard grew as small As a Congressman's oonsoionce— or nothing at all. Thon, growing still younger, he lost his old life And tho wisdom that kindly Dame Nature resorves For tho uso of tho aged; and so his good wife Spanked him twenty-two times for stealing preserves. He did everything else that he oould to annoy; For, alas ! he had turned to a terrible boy,— Pulled his granddaughter's hair and ripped up her rag-baby, And dropped the poor pussy-cat into the woll, And oallod his dear wife "an old addlebrainod gaby," And nearly upset her by giving a yell ; (How offcon tho cause of our frights may be found To be, upon analysation, a sound !) Then hio poltiooats shortly grew very muoh longer : He fed from a bottle, grew dimpled and fat; His hair it grew weaker, his voice it grew stronger : Ho twisted with oolio, ond gurgled, and spat: Ho was stranglod with sugar and camomile tea, Or jounoed out of breath on his granddaughter's knee. 'Tis a curious problem to spooulato.how, Or in what sort of protogenerioal germ — As tho limit whioh soienoo to life will allow— Ho might have oonoluded bis lessening term, Had Fortune not luckily ended her frolio, By snuffing him out in a fit of the colic H. P»