MORCEAUX.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 2628, 26 August 1876, Page 3

MORCEAUX.

Oftentimes a man ransacks the whole bom* for a pin, and not being able toted one, drop* into a chair with disgust, and is immediately rewarded for the search.

English boilermakers and French baboo* ists are trying to see who can send their machine* the highest. According to th*> latest accounts the steam boiler was half * mile a head.

A Chicago man closed his testimony in his action for a divorce from his wife as follow* z — " I don't want to say anything again tb* woman judge, but I wish you could live with her a little while."

Apropos of the spelling mania it may be of interest to know that a lady of Providence, 8.1., during leisure moment*,' professes t» have spelled 650 words out of the word "eongregationaiist," and in no case repeated •> letter in the formation of a word.

Awful alternative— Mistress to follower discovered in the kitchen on a Sunday— "Now it is getting late, sir, and yon must leave the house at once, unless you'd both fiks to come up stairs with me, and Fll read you •> sermon!"

This is the season for planting gardens. 'It is also the season for revengt. Many a man has revenged injuries which blood could not wipe out, by keeping a few energetic hen* after his neighbour had laid out his vegetable garden. -

Professor Max Mailer has undertaken to edit for the University Press all the saered books of the world, except the Bible and th* Chinese Scriptnres, whioh last will be allotted to the eminent sinologue, Dr Legge, who is to be the first occupant of the Chinese chair at Oxford.

Now here is exactly the thing we were going to write to-morrow : "Tbe trouble with moat women is that they are not economical m til* use of language. They reiterate. They say one thing over ten times in as many key* of voice, and then howl with rage beoante they can't whistle it"

It is a well authenticated fact that dean caff* have an unaccountable tendency to secrete themselves somewhere in tbe ""Hi*^ neighbourhood of the elbows, while dirty cast exhibit a wilful and exasperating determinatkra to remain obtrusively 4n the vicinity *f the knuckles.

Women are said to be more famthfnl than men, yet you might search till you were greyheaded and not find the woman who will admit that she was guilty of tight lacing, but at the same time each woman with who© you converge could tell you where at least a docen in her own neighbourhood who daily com* mitted this offence against their oonstifcutions.

"Why," asks an American cootempogaty, "should not a child be taught to write with both bands indifferently?" We dontknow, unless it be that indifferent writing is hardly looked upon as a desirable accomplishment. We could point out quite a number of people who write so indifferently with one hand that it if a matter for congratulation that they cannot use both.

With a white chip bonnet, paper of sins, and box of miscellaneous feathers, lace, ribbons, and flowers, any girl of the period, with a small stock of ingenuity, can convey the impression to the public at urge thai she has half a dozen bonnets this season. A rery fashionable shape is that made by sitting upon or stamping on an ordinary shape, and then putting in some large rotas. A Quaker, hearing a man swear at a particularly bad piece of road, said : — " Friend, I am under the greatest obligation to the*. I would myself hare done that thou hart done, but my religion forbids me. Don't let my conscience, however, bridle theej give thine indignation wings, and suffer not the prejudice of others to piralyse the tongue of justice and long suffering. Yes, verily. At Bubinstein'e last recital at St. James Hall, he was accosted by an old lady in the entrance hall, just before three o'clock, and thus fidressed .— " Oh, Mr Bubinstein, I am so glad to see yon : I bare tried in Tain to purchase a ticket. Have you a seat you could let me have?" "Madame," said the great pianist, "there is bnt one seat at my disposal, and that you are welcome to, if you think fit to take it." Oh, yes; and a thousand thanks j where is it?" was the excited reply.. "At the piano," smilingly replied Rubinstein, A dwelling house on Clifford street took fire in one of the chambers the other night from an exploding kerosene lamp. The flames were extinguished after a sharp struggle by the woman of the house, who had nor hands pretty badly burned. She war relating her adventures to a neighbour next morning, and the woman asked i " Why didn't jeu raise an alarm-where was Benie ?" "Bessie and he* beau were courting In the parlour," was the calm reply. " And you nerer called to them?" •• Not a word. I hare known of oases where a sudden ala*m has upiet a young man just as he was about to propose and changed to« whole future of two Jiv*s. ij^l A presentation «ae recently made to "the American poet William Goßen Bryant. In expressing bis acknowledgments, Mr Bryant told the following choice anecdote: — ' After expressing my acknowledgments for the honor done me, it would be easier for me to take refuge in silence, but this would hardly become me after the kind words addressed to me, and the superb gift offered tony acceptance. I^ear thaTT might tw accased of i^^J&ilt'BHlK QkSM- & 39 nron*? * hare reabrsome forty years since. A volunteer military ComwJ in ajirorindalfown of Englacdin.a tißif 'preienW^ tbeJOeaptain rwjui 4 pitcher. The Roa?eo^mj*tunrd officer wno ipTtwnrea 1 it, d6brsachnyj hit oftn* mtad^SS^CAiiihimiSSCSXk* Captain, here's the juoQ £ ya^M||i^arcaptam replied, te the tetintusoC the erewnf!"