TIPS BY TUPPER;

Star (Christchurch), Issue 663, 8 July 1870, Page 3

TIPS BY TUPPER;

OR PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY KOR HOME USE* ♦ : — Laugh not too loudly at the Frenchman for- • his eating of frogs; dwelleth not a multitude.; of toad-eaters in England ? The Scotchman saith " Bluid . is thicker. i than water," but hath the : canny Caledonian y seen the water at the Ipswich bathing place ?' Often do we feed our convicts well, yea, • better than our labourers, but seldom do tbey . show the fruits of good living. ' s Thou canst not keep thy secret too closely, nor eat thy oysters too quickly, for seorets .."' and oysters exist not after they are opened. Be not hospitable by halves; if thou invitest a friend to lunch, see that his cheese is not Mity nor his ale Weak. ' * : Forget not, fast young man, that he who., continually useth a latch-key seldom letteth : himself in for a good thing. >'' O, shop-boy with a small salary, thou hadst better not take to betting, for the "settlements" of such as thee often lead to a penal one. An imprudent Ipswich youth with nothing , and a ditto ditto girl with ditto may marry; ' but how long will their own anion keep them from that of Mr Crispin ? Strange are the ways of the world, and queer are the contradictions thereof ; we punish our beggars, and 10, we ourselves are punished by our solicitors. Young lady, wanting an offer very badly, be not too chary with the wine to thy parents' guests; bear in mind that the. best time to nail a man is when he is half-screwed. Fear not, my son, to marry a young lady that is somewhat thoughtful and melancholy; dread not the pensive, but the expensive girl of the period. It may take thee a long time .to find oat the exact letter of the Law, bnt thou mayest soon find out that its exact letters are £ s d. Whilst thou are young, study much the writings of others, but writo not much thy-v self ; take not down the shutters of any shop" until there are goods within it. Throughovfc life, my son, bear in mind tbia money moral: — tbou canst never make duck* and drakes of thy money without making an arrant goose of thyself. Marry, O youth, betimes, and, if needful, often ; woman sews and man reaps the advantage ; a man without a button is adrift even as is a ship without a needle. Seek to wear no hoops, pretty maiden, but the plain gold hoop round thy left hand fourth finger ; and be thou very particular as to the man privileged to put that little hoop on. ; ' ; ' -Let thy merit be pushed on by ambition, even as the child's perambulator is propelled ' by Mar*y Jane; but beware lest, like that careless servant-gal, thou makest an upset in the mud. Never be puffed up with the praise of thy friends. Remember that compliments are the coin we pay a man to hiß face, but sarcasme are what we pay him out with behind his back. Behold, how absurd are those philosophers who prate of the inferiority of females ; 10, doth not every woman possess a master-mind. — that is to say, a mind to be master if she can?