THE CONJUGATING DUTCHMAN.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 660, 5 July 1870, Page 3

THE CONJUGATING DUTCHMAN.

Two English gentlemen once stepped into a coffee-house in Paris, where they observed a tall, odd-looking man, who appeared not to be a native, sitting at one of the tables, and looking around him with stone-like gravity of countenance upon every object. Soon after the Englishmen entered, one of them - told the other that a celebrated dwarf had arrived in Paris. At this the grave-looking personage above mentioned opened his mouth, and he spoke. "I arrive," said he, "thou arrivest, he arrives, we arrive, you arrive, they arrive." The Englishman, whose remark seemed to have suggested this mysterious speech, stepped up to the stranger, and asked, "Did you wish to speak to me, sir ?" " I speak," replied the stranger, " thou speakest, he speaks, we Bpeak, you speak, they speak." " How is this," said the Englishman, " do you mean to insult me, sir ?" " I insult, thou insultest, he insults, we insult, you insult, they insult." " This is too much," said the Englishman, "I will have satisfaction; if you have any spirit with your rudeness, come along with me." To this defiance the imperturbable stranger replied, "I come, thou comest, he comes, we come, you come, they come;" and he arose with* great coolness, and followed his challenger. In these days, when every gentleman wore a sword, dnels were speedily dispatched. They went into a neighbouring alley; and the Englishman, unsheathing his weapon, said to his antagonist, " Now, sir, you must fight me." " I fight," replied the other, drawing his sword, " thou tightest, he fights, we fight,"— here he made thrust — " you fight, they fight," and here he disarmed his adversary. " Well," said the Englishman, " you have the best of it, and I hope you are satisfied." "lam satisfied," said the original, sheathing his sword, " thou art satisfied, he is satisfied, we are satisfied, they are satisfied." { "lam glad every one is satisfied," said the Englishman ; " but pray leave off quizzing me in this strange manner, and tell me what is your object, if you hava any, in doing so." The grave gentleman now, for the first time, became intelligible. "lam a Dutchman," said he, " and am learning yeur language; I find it very difficult to remember the peculiarities of the verbs; and my tutor has advised m«, in order to fix them in my mind, to conjugate every English verb that I hear spoken. This I have made it a rule to do; I don't like to havo my plans broken in upon while they are in operation, or I would have told you this before." The Englishmen laughed heartily at this explanation, and invited the conjugating Dutchman to dine with them. " I will dine," said he, " thou wilt dine, he will dine, we will dine, yoa will dine, they will dine, we will all dine together." This they accordingly did, and it was difficult to say whether the Dutchman ate or conjugated with most perseverance.