Varieties.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 637, 8 June 1870, Page 3

Varieties.

A gentleman in Mayence gave his servantmaid the following " character " the other day : — " The bearer has been in my house a year— minus eleven months. Daring that time she has shown herself diligent — at the house-door ; frugal — in work ; mindful— of herself ; prompt —in excuses ; friendly— towards men ; faithful — to her lovers ; and honest — when everything has vanished." We have no doubt the services of this attractive creature have been in immense request wherever |she has exhibited her wonderful certificate. A little anecdote is still repeated in military circles which is known as the " One Boot "story. When tenders for boots to be worn by the soldier are accepted at the War it is held sufficient that a single boot should be sent in as a sample. An ingenious clerk at the War Office, who was desperately at a loss -for something to do, in a happy moment discovered that a regiment of the Guards reported themselves to be in possession of so many hundred pairs of boots, plus one boot. Here was an opening ! What could have become of the other boot? Was it not a blessed thing for the country that the War Office was there to look after the public interests, and to investigate and probe, even to the very quick, this monstrous instance of profligate expenditure? A vigorous correspondence between the departments was set on foot. Letters, which were to be referred to in all future communications as 30, 275, 463, and so on, were exchanged. At the end of some weeks, when some hundred sheets of foolscap paper had been wasted, it was found out that all this bother had been made — about a sample boot ! A lady being very particular in having the coffee for breakfast made in a particular way, on engaging a new Irish servant, gave her a lesson. " Now, then," said the lady " pour the ground coffee into the pot, then pour in the hot water, and, after a few minutes' boiling, put in one-half of an egg— so," and the lady elucidated such demonstration by illustration. " You understand, don't you ? " said the lady. " Indeed I do, mum," was the response. "Bile the coffee, grind in the water, and dhrop in the half of an egg. Isn't that it, mum ? "— « All right," replied the lady ; " now, then, to-morrow morning w« will see how well you can remember." Tomorrow morning came, and the coffee wag as good as could be expected. The third morning came, and, to the astonishment of our friend and wife, the coffee was umdrinkable and nauseating ; even the odour of it was sickening. Bridget was called, and questioned as follows : — "Bridget, did vou first put the ground coffee in the pot ?— " Indade I did, mum."— "Did you then put in the hot water ?»—" Sure I did."— "How long did you let it boil ?"—" Five minutes, mum."— " What did you then ? "— " I put in the egg mum." "Just as I showed you the other morning?" — "Well, to tell the thruth, mum," says Bridget, " I would not put in the half of the egg, as ye towld me, for the egg was a bad one, and I thought ye wouldn't want to kape the half of it, so I dhropped in the crather as it was."