WHISKEY v. BRAIN.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 572, 21 March 1870, Page 3

WHISKEY v. BRAIN.

An American temperance lecturer gave the following- hard hit at " moderate drinkers:-" tl All who in youth acquire a habit of drinking, at forty years of age will be total abstainers or drunkards. No one can use whiskey for years with moderation. If there I is n person in this audience whose experience disputes this, let him make it known, and I will account for it, or acknowledge that I am mistaken." A tall, large man arose, and, folding his arms across his breast, said, " I offer myself as one whose experience contradicts your statement." " Are you a moderate drinker ?" asked the judge. "I am." " How long have you drank in moderation ?" "Forty years" "And were you never intoxicated?" "Never." "Well," remarked the judge, scanning his subject closely from head to foot, yours is a singular case, yet I think it easily accounted for. I am reminded by it of a Jtttle story: — A coloured ! map, with a loaf of bread and a bottle of I whiskey, sat down on the bank of a clear stream to dine. In breaking the bread he dropped some of the crumbs into the- water; These were eagerly seized and eaten by the fish. That circumstance suggested to the negro the idea of dipping the bread into the whiskey and feeding it to them. He tried it. It worked well. Some of the fteh ate of it, became drunk, and floated helpless on the surface. In this way he easily caught a large number. But in the stream was a large J9sh, very unlike the rest. It partook freely of the bread and whiskey, with no perceptible effect. It was shy of every effort of the negro to take it. He resolved to have it at all hazards that he might learn its name and nature. He procured a net, and after much effort caught it, carried it to a coloured neighbour, and asked his opinion in the matter. The other surveyed the n onder & moment, and then said * Sambo, I understand this case. Dis fish is a mullet head; it aint got any brains !' In other words," added the jugde, " alcohol affects only the brains, and those having none may drink without injury." The storm of laughter which followed drove the " moderate drinker" suddenly from the house.