THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXXVII, Issue 15, 16 December 1916, Page 7

THEY SAY

—That F. M. B. Fisher is returning to New Zealand. It can't be helped.

—That Maurice O'Connor is now in quarter mourning. Just a narrow black border.

—That Poland demands a Diet. This is to overcome the eat and burden of the day. '

—That Mr Asquith has declined the offer of a garter. He'll carry on with the old. suspender.

—That as a politician unwittingly but truly remarks, land for sol T diers is a "growing" problem.

• —That liloyd George will enlist all citizens for war work, with fitting exemptions. Tailors., perhaps?

—That it'e all right. G. W. Russell is "extremely pleased that Lloyd George is Prime Minister." All's well!

—That Mr G. W. Russell says he will encourage the birthrate. As George's family already numbers 14 —but there I

—That Australia intends to increase the manufacture of rifles. Perhaps New Zealand will follow shoot ? No ? Yes ?

—That up to the moment of going to press, Captain Oartwhell (of the "Gahds") hasn't received the V.C. or even the D.S.O.

—That Australia will exclude politicians as recruiters.- Perhaps it'e mostly talk. Anything to do with politicians usually is. , .'-, .

That a New Zealand soldier team has beaten Canadian soldiers at football. Mr W. Beddoe. will accept condolences during office hours only.

—That the cabled, line, "Germans use tanks in Rumania," should read, "German tanks are now operating in the wine districts of Rumania."

—That Jim Hardie and Dick Spinks, dog enthusiasts, failed to scour the Makura for stray champions. The last venture proved a blank failure..

That the open invitation of a taxi-driver to a passenger to be driven up to the Domain to be punched is concluded to mean, that all is not fare.

That the presentation revolver to Captain Goates from his Dargaville worshippers started on its war career with a policeman's nick in the butt—"no permit."

—That a certain young policeman non-shouting spy will get heaps of "Grubb" without the asking if he will only take a quiet walk out on the Thames back hills..

—That Master Mariner Alex. Alison, with the wheel of the ocean greyhound Kawau in his hands, set out* to brave the perils of the deep on Tuesday, Bon voyage, captain!

That Mr Massey and Sir Joseph Ward made speeches at the New Zealand troops camped at # Salisbury. They doubled' the picquets at all exits to prevent escape—so there was a good muster.

That Lord Curzon has married a few more American millions. His first bank book was a daughter of Lieter (charming English name!) who cornered the whole wheat supply of America. Good old Cabinet! That the comfortable home for the lon<r suffering official on Fritz Island, "Hauiaki Gulf, raised', sweet Christmas hopes in the Britishers breast. It proved an April fool hoax after all. The new home went to the favoured Hun, while the official still sweats in his old den.

—That, vide a German cry, "We long for peace." How long? —That America calls the Pru&sian dynasty "Hunzollej-n" now. —That a raider has been seen in the Atlantic. In Auckland two-up palaces, too! ,

—That the anti-Greek riots in Wanganui are all on,a.par with the general mentality of that quaint little town.

—That a young gentleman has escaped military service on. proving that he is a "bleeder." Dreadful slang, isn't it?

—That a,, eheepowner of the South has threatened to produce a sheep without bones. Doctors are interested in hie case. ■ '

—That a silly rumour to the effect that the City Council had been watering the streets on hot and dusty days is now denied. ~

—That many quid Soots resent the imputation that the St. Helier's Presbyterian Church built in a day was of "mushroom" growth.

That the anti-conscription, fever is. spreading. There, were nearly six people, including two reporters and two constables, at a Christchurch rally.

That a magistrate at Wellington has ruled that a man may play golf on Sunday. The Wellington City Council has now consented for soldiers to fight on the Sabbath.

That from Australia comes a^ threat that daily newspapers may be abolished because of the shortage of paper. You see., Australasia has only 9,000,000,000,000 tons of paper making material left. ''

"Yours Truly":—A stranger to Auckland, witnessing the parade of Maori soldiers on Saturday night, might have been excused from wondering if Aucklanders were people without heart, and without imagination. A draft of soldiers marched grandly along Queen Street, every man a' picture of virility, a sight to gladden the eye and to make the pulses beat, and every man going to fight for freedom and the glory of New Zealand. What happened? A few pedestrians lined the sidewalks and gazed stupidly on, like yokels at a fair. Others turned their heads because they heard a band playing,, and they turned them back as th«y saw it was "only the Maoris." Not one rousing cheer! We boast of our intelligence, our education, our advancement, but if lack of imagination and feeling be, as it is declared to be, real ignorance, then we are the most ignorant people in the world. The call of honour, freedom, glory, watchwords which made the British Empire, had surely no meaning to those callous people who coolly watched the march of men who'have offered their lives in our defence. One wonders, are such people worth,fighting for, and Iβ the decadent spirit to be found, not in "worn-out" Britain, but here in young New Zealand? Now that the City\Council has learnt that there are taxi-cabs in Auckland, perhaps they could be induced to go.a little further. There is the hooter nuisance. If a small newsboy, calls his wares too. loudly he is hauled before the "beak" be-, cause he is making too muchinoiee and getting on people's nerves. But the motoring road-hog is permitted to make the streets hideous witli all manner of screeching alarms. The more nerye-shattering the,, racket and the better the road-hog likes it; Any hour in Queen pests of. this description can be observed deliberately and needlessly startling pedestrians, by originating: sudden shrieks from the particular instrument of. aural torture that fiendish ingenuity has, devised to meet his Hun-like fancy. The little child, or the old man, or the tottering dame are all one to him, game to be startled while he. shall pass by. It is high time that shrieking nerve shattering alarms wero banished from the streets, and that Auckland thoroughfares were made more worthy of a civilised city than like streets of Besdlam.