THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXXV, Issue 49, 14 August 1915, Page 7

THEY SAY

—That another Berlin bank has "busted." The British Navy has kindly supplied a check. —That Germany desires to embroil Morocco in the war. "Wishes, iv fact, to exchange hell for leather. —That the Maoris have done their first haka on Gallipoli. No doubt they will haka way to Constantinople. —That the Sultan has been surgically treated. This, according to the Sultana's currant gossip, is raisin his spirits. —That, vide the "Star," "The British flag at Melbourne was finally knocked down." We refuse to believe it. —That we live in a great age. See "Star": "Shakespeare at the Leys Institute"; and we thought poor "Willie was dead'! • —That, speaking in a strictly domestic manner, one would be glad to know if there is a skeleton in the National Cabinet. —That although butter has fallen a penny it is not likely that it will fall to "normal." Nod if Yon Hoogdose and Co. know id! —That, vide the daily papers, "Sydney Boat Not Sailing." Suppose someone's been and gone and introduced steam at last! —That registration of every man in New Zealand is to take place. A certain percentage of politicians may be included in the compliment. —That Sydney papers applaud New Zealand's method of running soldiers l ' camps. Presumably the shareholders are mostly undertakers. —That Canon Garland, recently working in this section of the vineyard, is the prime mover in the ■agitation to have wet canteens in the Australian Army. —That a talented New Zealand musician properly declares that we should supply mouth organs to our troops. British music will then be "Made in Germany." —That the Champion Muscle Raiser desires to work on the Supply Committee, and to raise an imperiisSbaSble monument of military Virtue. May he never Peter out! —That Professor Yon Zedlitz, of Wellington, the non-naturalised German, has l been permitted to. retain his position by the Aliens Board. Good, obedient little Alien® Board! —That, with the beautiful clarity for which the press is distinguished, it is said that "there aTe subterranean mwmurings in Germany." Berliners are evidently living m trenches. —That suburban mayors will be greatly distressed to hear that New Zealand soldiers at Gallipoli do not wear the neck to knee costume while bathing. Protests are being prepared by a shocked committee. —That we are all wondering who will prepare the beautiful testimonial to Gen. Botha now that Mr Brett has gathered the shillings. It wouldn't have to be done in Wellington, or Melbourne, or Papakura, for instance, would it? —That the most prized recreation at Gallipoli is seabathing. Tommy Fearnleaf leaves his bosom friends on the beach for preference, and takes mixed bathing. Although cavalry are not in use there are large detachments of Scots Greys at work. Tha* "the highest possible authority" declares that Kitchener did not suggest the possible duration of the war, but merely said, "We will beat the Germans." It was a National Reservist who mentioned the time which he and' hie mates would, take to lick Wilhelm.

—That Canterbury as starting a seed campaign. Ear, ear! —That, vide an illuminating headlime: "Mining News. Gold Returns.', But does it? —That Italy has a front of 300 miles; Even John Payne can't compete with that. —That in the matter of military appointment, it is not true that only Bumty pulls' the strings. —That however brilliant the German "kultur" may be according to Huns, it certainly isn't Polish. —That when the Maoris danced the haka at Gallipoli they sang that touching ballad "Hone for Thee." —That, thank goodness, Dr. Pomare is retained in; the National Ministry. S-h-h! Don't wake him! —That during the session over a hundred, new bills have been passed. But the old Bill hasn't been amended. —That, vide Mr Parr, "The old political Adam dies hard. And he ought to know. He comes from Eden. —That a gallant British peer is working as a fitter in a munitions factory. Turning out nuts, no doubt. —That in all German military photographs which include William the Hun, he is naturally always Posen. —That the number of "sure thing" politicians who are not in that new Ministry is absolutely surprising. —Trat it is untrue that the German fleet is starving. The men get plenty of shell fish from the keels in the Kiel Canal. —That doctors seem to have been fairly successful with anaesthetics in a couple of recent cases. Thank heaven for the 8.M.A.! —That the "U.S.A. has a hundred million pounds worth more gold than last year. And in the matter of this war America as not giltiess. —That Sydney has just celebrated the centenary of Methodism in N.S.W. A hundred years of uncomplaining bravery against fearful odds. —That the Queensland Government will take all "tote" divs. not lifted! by winners. We know from experience that Queensland IS' pretty hot! —That about 25 "whom God hath joineds" wish to be detached this Supreme Court session. Even Kitchener said this was a war of attrition. —That the Premier declares that something will have to be done about the liquor business. As long as John Barleycorn "sees the pint" he wil be satisfied. —That Melba has been called "The Empress of Pickpockets." This is possibly an exaggeration. Even if she is not royal she is a woman of note. —That men who are useful for manufacturing munitions of war are not to be registered for military service. Couldn't the knuts learn to knit Balaclavas? —That the new New Zealand Ministry has "made a good impression on Mr Bonar Law." The voice of Russell singing down the corridors of time is what did it 1 —That licensed victuallers are rather afraid that the Maori picquets are going to do their duty. Hone is being made to "take a pull," but not in the way the landlord likes. —That owing to the sad decrease in prices of house property a potential purchaser of a home may now buy one at only a little over its double value. See ads. and then see houses! —That farmers are exceedingly anxious about the threatened shortage of very essential labour. It is understood the land agents will volunteer for the golden harvest to a man. That the City Council will sooner or later have to consider the question of a motor car service between the Town Hall and the Post Office to carry the telegraphic messages from the Mayor.

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