THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXXV, Issue 45, 17 July 1915, Page 7

THEY SAY

—That over 12,000 Jews are fighting with the British forces. "Onward, Christian sb-o-01-diers!" —That it is cheering news to hear that "German Mines Fail." Evidently the Huns have their periods of boom and bust. —That if Major—ah Heaton—er Rhodes isn't careful he'll find himself—ah leadSng—er—a bally squadron at the front—urn—yet. —That although not in a position to get arms from America, Germany is at least availing herself freely of its splendid interning facilities. —That the recent appointment of Vernon Reed to the Land Board ; has caused questions mi Parliament. Set up a Royal Commission, William! —That Takapuna Saltburn Road is now wearing Lincoln green in honour of the new recruit, and everybody is happy. What reinforcement is he joining? —That a Royal, Commission is sitting on the Trerirtiram scandal. Being political, it will be a long, payable sit for the and of no earthly service to the dJead. —That the law of cause and effect is still in operation. Two headlines from a Tory paper "Ministerial Visit. Less Sickness at Trentham." Cured measles with talk, no doubt. —That Mounted Rifles recruits are expected to buy their own spurs. It will surprise them to know that horses are served out gratis, and that the Government often supplies rations. v —That Reform is now going in for the cinematograph business. It •gives the people a chance to see advertising ministers on the move. "A Minister's Smile—three reels—'three thousand feet!" —That if the new arrival with the aquiline features who parades Queen Street armed with golf sticks will read the papers he will find that Joffre predicts a great "drive" for next month. —That> : Ready Reckoner Allen believes it likely the New Zealand forces will have to face a European campaign. Thank heaven they can't take Trentham with them 1 They will have a chance. —That Dr. Pomare has pronounced that he is satisfied with the work done by the authorities at Narrow Neck. Thank heaven, a soldier's work can always be passed by a politician. It is the custom of the country. —That daily papers simply won't promote "General" French. Give an obscure New Zealand Bachelor of Medicine a military (handle to-day and watch the rush to get his full soldier title into the press to-mor-row. —That in the South they still cherish the beautiful German language. No such thing as a children's party. They call 'em "kinderspiels" in Oamaru. It's only a matter of time before Dunedin reonristens its haggis "sauerkraut." —That somebody demands that Major-General R. H. Davies should be made New Zealand Minister for War. One can hear the teeth of Colonel Allen grinding at the wicked, wicked suggestion. Besides, General Davies is a soldier—that bars him. —That genius still sits at the helm and brains at the stern of the .good? old ship of State. Terrible Trentham deserted, the authorities believed a Foxtoni site (4 feet under water) to be the very thing to cure coughs, colds, sore throat and wet feet. Bah I

—That the Manukau Harbour is gazetted an oyster fishery. Poor old Bennett! —That it is a hopeful sign to find that the Swedes are ready for any turnup. That several German banks have gone bung. The Banks of the Rhine will be the next. —That vide the Germans, "we shall win in the long run." It's a long long run to Berlin. —That, apropos of Trentham, one hopes that no important officer's excellent billet is in jeo-Purdy. —That the potato market is flattened out. There is hardly a dry eye in the whole spud population. —That the Germans admit having received a check. May one hope that it was returned marked "u.e.f." ? —That a, Turkish gentleman recently failed to kill the Sultan. When his mates catch him he'll have a bad time. —That "shells from Australia may easily be worse than useless." There is time for the Auckland expert to catch the next Sydney boat. —That a Highland regiment of the National Reserve has been established—but, thank Heaven, never a Sandy o' them a' has been kilt! —That when some local young men read Kitchener's appeal: "Isn't it morally up to you?" they yelled "Yes"—and joined the National Reserve. —That a man has been; fined 40s for waving a large German sausage in Queen Street. Carrying explosives in a public place is strictly barred. —That copies of Wellington "Dominion" lately sold for sixpence a copy. Imperishable slab of genius? No! Only Dr. Inglis on mattresses. S-h-hJi! ' —That when a oertain politician who is now a recruit had trouble with .has horse it is understood there was a splendid "Speech from the thrown. —That this week ten people have been fined for cruelty to animals. The owners would have.been safe if rihe animals had been soldiers at Trentham. —That New Zealand automobilists will urge the Government to establish a "Public Roads Office." Which particular automobilist is it who wants a job? —That it is not quite fair to accuse any New Zealand officers now returning to this country of belonging to the Sapping and Mining Division'—most unkind! —That when Colonel Allen handed over the portfolio of Finance to Frontiersman Massey they spent nearly half an hour with. that, tattered l Ready Reckoner. —That, it having been alleged that military nurses must have their kit made by one selected' firm, one merely inquires, what politicians have shares in the concern. —That Messrs Hooknose, Robbair and Co., who are not now allowed to export butter, really cannot at present find an excuse for putting it up to 2/- a pound locally. —That it is quite untrue that Narrow Neck Maoris went on the bust in Devonport. "Bus" was the word intended. A Maori infantryman never walks if he can ride—it's so tiring! —That when you read these headlines: "Statement by Ministers— Fewer Cases of Illness," you wonder what has caused an increase of sickness. Politicians are so very truthful. —That a very large proportion of this year's New Zealand infants are to 'be called Albert. Many people suppose this to be a compliment to the King of the Belgians, but Mr Glover knows better. —That hucksters and traffickers in New Zealand military camps generally increase their prices 50 to 100 per cent. The Defence Department, which has control over these harpies, permits it. Any shares?

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