THEIR WORSHIPS.

Observer, Volume XXXV, Issue 20, 23 January 1915, Page 3

THEIR WORSHIPS.

And the Enemy

LITERATURE is silent as to the personel of the group of Justices who recently strained their intellects locally. The J.P.s sat in solemn conclave to protest against the treatment of the alien enemy within the gates, and to those people whose sense of humou>' has not been impaired by membership of a public body their deliberations were of a highly elevatiig mature. The J.P.s of Auckland- are convinced that too much liberty is extended to the alien, and that "the Government's hands should be strengthened." The J.P.s did not indicate how this desirable thing should be effected, but they did the thing for which they gathered— passed a resolution. A J.P. evidently regards a resolution as a universal panacea, like St. Timothy's Oil or Purple Pills. A solemn mover declared that there was a wireless station owned by an enemy alien. (Cries of horror.) Where is it? The mover must know, or else he wouldn't refer to it. Nobody will prevent the mover moving the wireless. It's his duty as a J.P. and a loyal citizen. Root it out, yous: Worship. Blow it up! Knock it down ! Steal out at dead of night and raze it to the ground. Where does this dreadful, alien send his messages to? There might be a German army corps on. Rangitoto or a bunch of Uhlans on Brown's Island, or a cruiser squadron sheltering behind Pine Island. ■ • ■ Another gentleman complained that he had been insolently, treated in Auckland by a German in a commercial position. Not long ago we (we, mind you, who are, not a J.P.) were insolently treated by a British errand boy. ■ A fireman was insolently treated' in a bar the other day. He knocked 1 a couple of the enemy's teeth out. Why shouldn't a man be interned' for three years for "talking back" to a J.P. ? Are the sacred rights of the unpaid magistracy to be trodden in the mire of alien obloquy by commercial Germans when the mouths of unpaid magistrates are _hut? No, sir—my word, No! Outrageous! Germans "have made contemptuous references to the British nation." Scandalous! No. J.P. has made any contemptuous reference to the German nation. Is a J.P. scared of contemptuous references by Germans?' No, sir! As long as a New Zealand J.P. has breath to frame a resolution he will take this heroic method of dealing

with the alien. (Cheers!) "A German urged a lady in Ponsonby to dispose of her property." (Shudders from Messrs Pickwick, Winkle, Snodgrass, Handy Andy and Mr Nupkins.) "No reason was given for this advice." (Consternation in which all the J.P.s joined.) It is not even stated whether this German who gave the advice before the war was a land agent or a Prussian officer in disguise. Still it is significant of something or other not mentioned in the Justices of the Peace Act, 1882, or the amendments thereof. * * * Another unspecified German had said that "British blood will flow in New Zealand." (Scenes of indescribable emotion, one J.P. grasping his pocket corkscrew in a determined manner.) Nobody mentioned that if the blood of J.P.s was ehed by Germans in New Zealand the blood of Germans would be shed by J.P.'s. Let us be charitable. If the precious blood of J.P.s fertilises the volcanic soil of this country—do not smite the Germans back. Pass a resolution ! Get the whole story in the Press. But above all things get the story alongside the "Siege of Antwerp," and let these stuffy nonentities who have the incredible childishness to rush into' conclave about something they know nothing about, get four headings in the daily papers. Let it be said: with due reserve that none of these magisterial infants, these indescribably silly old men,, permitted their names to be used. They suggest that all aliens should be-"interned." Why, in the name of common, sense, are not these odds and ends of J.P.s "interned." There is no writer in New Zealand who has the least chance of doing justice to Justices. A Boy Scout meeting is less childish than the meeting of whining J.P.'s. Even the Women's Reform League is lees silly than this meeting of corpulent, middle-aged men who dictate a policy for the Government in relation to' Huns, and all the average J.P. needs to do is to get down on the knees of his box pants and thank God that he is not eating grass instead of exhibiting his chaotic foolishness. The Press treats this kind of person seriously in New Zealand —at least some portions of the Press. The J.P.s who gathered on Friday last in the Magistrate's Court are funnier than a Keystone picture. Why don't they trade their services to the Keystone Proprietary ?