THINGS THE OBSERVER WOULD LIKE TO KNOW

Observer, Volume XXXIV, Issue 24, 21 February 1914, Page 11

THINGS THE OBSERVER WOULD LIKE TO KNOW

—Which is the " crack " j band ? " Crack " we said, not " cracked."

—If these are the journalistic dog days? Three Hindus and a Chinaman arrive and three hundred columns of the " Asiatic Menace " jump into the papers.

—Who |does not know that when Harry Hayr handed out the, "half sovereign" to the "gold escort at Rotorua that " bang went saxpence .'

—If the development of the Canadian voice is not a scientific marvel 1 A New Zealand parson has received a "call all the way from Winnepeg.

—Have you noticed that the new type of " baby " motor car is even more odourous than its big brother 1 A local society for the supression of smell is urgently required.

—If, apropos of a recent court case, the plaintiff who said, "a lawyer is a necessity," was aware that "necessity knows no law "?

—What a magistrate meant when he said that some territorials might miss fifteen parades and not get fined, and that others would be jerked up first time? Did he see if the first named defaulters were labelled " Reform "?

—If small traders who have been ''going bung" with great frequency are in favour of Early Settlers' Associations ?

—Why the Newest " Herald " building is flying the •' blue peter " ? Is it a substitute for the shipping atrocity that was a feature of the ancient edifice ?

—The precise sum of money sent by Auckland anti-gamblers to Tasmania during the past two months ?

—Apropos of recent charges against " woolbrokers," the private reasons for the detectives' animosity towards a certain " bookie " firm known all over New Zealand 1

—How the young hero who hear-1 a tremendous quarrel in a suburban house on Tuesday night, and burst in to separate the contestants, felt, when he found it was merely a gramophone rendering a vaudeville item?

—If the Hon. Geo. Fowlds when he went Home, left behind him any more mixtures of morals and politics, sermons and single tax ?

—If George Gray the Australian billiardist has a brother on the. Press Association in London? He overdoes little George a whole heap.

—Whether everybody has now got his bit of praise for the mastery Of the strike? "Specials," polioe, publicans have had their share, and Mr. Justice Cooper has ever mentioned the magistrates. We add our tribute to ; the judges who handed out " time."

—If the young gentleman who borrowed a clergyman's uniform and strolled about a certain thickly peopled -foeach last Saturday afternoon and " looked shocked " enjoyed it very much ? A few bathers have sworn to have his blood.

—If the big Auckland drapers, have struck a balance yet, in order to ascertain to what effect the awful Hindoo has bitten into the profits? Three handkerchiefs and a " pinny " last week 1 ,

—The name of the Devonport wealthy business man and church goer who had his lost pocket book returned to him by a boy, who took a special trip to deliver it—and if he will miss the threepence he handed out ?