They say

Observer, 24 July 1909, Page 7

They say

— That the next time City play Ponsonby, Charlie Seeling has arranged to have a referee of his own. — That Father Patterson went to Waihi to celebrate bis birthday. It is understood that it was a very dry affair. — That a horse was drowned at the Onehunga Wharf last Monday. Where, oh, where was Dinnie Rowles with his life belt ? — That society will go slow on its orders for nursery vehicles until the prams fitted with Lady Plunket's patented shade come into the market. — That G. George, of Wellington, is at present visiting Auckland. He'd better make himself scarce. There's only room for one G. George in this city. — That not all the back-scratchtng in the world can persuade either G. J. Garland or John Farrell to join the Fowlds - Sayers Mutual Admiration Society. — That the Waiheathens have presented Father Patterson with an umbrella, which fact ppeaks eloquently of the cold watery condition of their enlightened city. — That Grey Lynn Borough has fairly earned the title of " The Great Loan Land," and Mayor Sayers may be given the palm as a champion at playing a loan hand. — That the sudden appearance of Michael Walsh on the Grafton bridge the other day was the signal for an equally sudden outbreak of thirst on the part of the workers thereon. — That a Chinaman named Hip Lab was recently charged at the Police Court with trotting his horse round a corner, and got off without a fine. Whereupon Hip Lah said " Hoop-la !'' — That the reports of Editor Leys's oration at the Grey Lynn banquet form an interesting study ot the dailies' relative notions of value — " Star," a third of a column ; " Herald," two words. — That H. J. Bradney has again been getting on the nerves of the Harbour Board officials, over the railway wharf works. It is also said that the railway wharf haunts B. J. in his nightly dreams. — That William Rattray has recently been besieged by fair collectors of the Ladies' Benevolent Society, seeking for hints on the best method of extracting coins from the pockets of reluctant and bashful males. — That Walter Buchanan does not acknowledge responsibility for providing half the butter that was used the other evening at the Fowlds banquet. Each speaker seemed to have brought a liberal supply of his own. — That amateur experts in hundreds are daily buzzing round the Town Hall, and Clerk of Works McLaren has been driven to express his feelings in Gaelic, that being the most explosive kind of language for the purpose. — That City Engineer Bush is laughing behind his hand at the goodnature with which Auckland people are suffering themselves to be led on to a Town Hall outlay which would have staggered them if it had been originally proposed in one lump. — That the question of the moment at the Thames is whether the town clerk of the future shall be a PoohBah or a one-billet individual, and Mayor Claxton finds himself buttonholed by disinterested advisers at every street corner.

— That it is not safe to ask Building Inspector Maxwell " How's Hogan?".—That City Engineer Bush doesn't appreciate the oratory of either K. F. Way or William Pierpoint Black. — That City Gardener Pearson sniff-) a significant sniff when anyone asks him what use Auckland has made of Arbor Day. — That the Stock Exchange clock stopped dead recently. Evidently, the excitement ot the boom has been too much for it. — That in the opinion of some depraved persons, it isn't the hospital that requires reorganisation as much as the Hospital Board. ' — That Michael Walsh has been regarding Lindsay Cooke with suspicious glances since the immortal " Spot " was spirited away. — That one of the Otago mining dredges, which has been earning next to nothing for her owners, is now known as the " Dredgenougat." — That the Timber Commission's report contains so many snags that it cannot get through the Cabinet room door — hence the delay in its publication. — That Principal Milnes, of the Normal Training School, is seeking the gore of the base "Star" scribe who cast a slur upon the manners of his pupils. — That Harle Giles's eye glistens when he looks, down the attenuated list of cases set before the Arbitration Court, and he feels inclined to exclaim " All my work." — That Peter Mackay doesn't think much of tbe gospel according to St. Johns, but that's nothing to what William Johns thinks of the utterances of St. Peter. — That Herr Wielaert never realised what dissonances could be stirred up by Beethoven's greatest works till he undertook to have one of them performed in Auckland. — That M. J. Sheahan and Victor Langsford are wearing an air of expectation, and wondering whether any sentence of football excommunication is coming their way. — That Alec Alison's smile whenever the Harbour Board's big tug puts to sea in quest of employment, is one of the best votes of confidence his own seafarers could wish for. — That P. J. Nerheny waxed quite poetical on the subject of Hogan's wash-house ; and a person who can be poetical over a wash-house could be poetical over anything — even a rubbish tip. — That, according to the '• News in Brief " column in the " Herald " supplement, a mole eats 20,000 worms per year. Why doesn't Alec Alison import a shipload of. moles into Northcote ? — That sometimes there is really something in a name. Take the proof from two recent divorce cases down South. In one the co-respondent was Ott, and in another the wife who took the wrong turn was Mist. — That the Rotorua hotelkeepera didn't send a brass baud down to the station to welcome Tom Long on his arrival at the sulphurous township. In fact, some of their remarks were more sulphurous than the township. — That at the Savage Club's ehivoo, Secretary Frank Whittaker gave the Hon. George Fowlds quite a large collection of fairy stories for publication in the " School Journal." This is rather rough on the rising generation. — That wrestling with the problem of reorganising the hospital is causing Chairman George Knight's beautiful curly locks to become visibly thinner ; and this is a calamity that has plunged all Karangabape road into a profound melancholy. —That the Rev. Water-Diviner Mason is losing a golden opportunity t in not floating himself as a limited liability company while things are lively on tbe Stock Exchange. With , Mayor Grey as head of the provisional , board he would go off at a high premium. ,-...•■■. ■ ■•■:■ ■■ \ ' ; :^