They say

Observer, Volume XXIX, Issue 44, 17 July 1909, Page 7

They say

— That a Sabbath-day's journey nowadays is just twice round the galf , links. j — That judging by recent weather, ' Bates, Wragge, Stevenson and Co. belong to the cold water party. — That it doesn't take a microscope to see the real reason for Peter Virtue's enthusiastic eulogy of the Railway Wharf. — That Mayor Grey has commissioned Sam Hanna to compose a nice address for presentation to that Yankee W.C.T.U. visitor. — That as a medium for raising tears in the eyes of some individuals, " East Lynne" can knock spots oft the healthiest onion tbat ever grew. — That the feeling between the Socialist and purely industrial sections of New Zealand Trades Councils is becoming more acute every day. — That J. F. Montague wants to start elocutionary competitions, with Panjandrum Baeyertz as judge. Monty always was a singularly bold youth. — That one of the dailies advertises for sale a chair which " has been in the possession of tbe present owner for five generations." It's about time he died. — That there is n,o ground for the rumour that F. M. King and E. W. Alison have fallen Upon eaoh other's necks and agreed upon a huge cooperative ferry scheme. — That the rivalry beaming in the eyes of Electrician Wylie and Gas Manager Stewart just now matches the brilliance of their respective Queen-street illuminations. — That Lawyer McVeagh's discovery that power is not dependent upon pressure does not mean any relaxation of pressure upon those who are receiving blue papers through his ofiice. — That there is neither time nor inclination for afternoon tea now at the Stock Exchange final calls. Sometimes takes a couple of solid hours to run through the afternoon's business. — That A. Schleptweiss, the latest arrival in German tourists, ought, judging from his name, to be competent to give a valuable opinion as to the merits of the Trunk Railway sleepers. —That one of the " Herald's " literary young men has been taking a course of spiritualism, and the paper has been publishing his experiences. Grandma is becoming quite a flighty old female. — That Dr Valintine need not look for smiles or for extra lumps of sugar for his afternoon tea when next he visits the Hospital, after his reflections upon tbe fair nurses' housekeeping qualifications. — That John Fuller intends to strengthen the Opera House stage. He came to the conclusion that this was necessary after watching weighty Tom Brown prancing round it last Saturday afternoon. — That the two entrances of the railway line into the Ohinemuri electorate are getting qnite well defined by the heaps of " dead marines" jettisoned from the train by passengers. Doesn't answer to take risks in these " dry " days. — That some Wellington Johnnies who were arranging a dance fbr the "Miss Hook of Holland" Company sustained the disappointment of their lives when they (ound that the principals wouldn't mix with the chorus girls. This olass distinction killed the dance in one hit. ■■•■> \: '.■ .' A ■■■■■' ■-. -i •

— That the free school books tangle is as far off being unravelled as ever. — That if Fred Earl is hard up for an expert, he should apply to George George. — That John Fuller's oyster story can beat anything that Canavan Smith ever perpetrated. — That John Fuller is running J. J. Craig close for the title of the Rockefeller of Auckland. — That typographical errors in the dailies have recently been causing J. H. Pagni much Payne. — That Mayor George Sayers is wrong in alluding to the Grey Lynn loan as a drama. In reality it is a comedy. — That the yarns told by steamship travellers who voyaged through the recent gale are getting stronger at every telling. — That the unemployed don't appre» ciate soup. Judging from the appear ance of some of the chronic ones, they don't appreciate soap, either. — That protracted "calls" are a daily feature of the present boom on the Stock Exchange. The dividends, if any, are a thing of the future. — That William Rattray organised his stretcher brigade for active service last Monday. Bat orange and green blended so well together that the precaution was superfluous. — That prisoners on remand at Mount Eden are known by the polite title of " the bug hunters," and they find the constant exercise very beneficial during the cold weather. — That Inspector-General Valintine has given advice to the B. M.A. doctors as to the probable consequences of their policy of ostracism which they would be wise to lay to heart. —That the Rev. J. L. Kayll, who has become visiting adviser to the Prisons Department, will probably become known as the Rev. " Jail ' Kayll — for an obvious reason. — That the flourishing of flasks and bottles at Alexandra Park last Saturday was an object lesson in the futility of No-License. However, it will prove a boon to the bottle-gatherer. — That the Hon. Roderick McKenzie smiles at the criticisms of the Northern districts as to the route their railway is to take, and asks how he can be expected to please everybody. — That the Thames deep level companies have really got as much from the Government for the big prospecting tunnel as they ever expected, but it isn't policy to appear too well satisfied. — That Arthur Rosser ought to have been asked to sign that address to Arthur Myers. He's a representative leading citizen, as anybody can tell by the way people rush to vote for him at elections. — That Claude Abbott, after swallowing a second grade Government oyster at lunch the other day, is devoutly hoping that the State won't get down to the third grade before the season is over. — That John Patterson wore his 1 longest tail coat on Monday, but he 1 couldn't find a single Orangeman rash enough to tread on it. Even Lindsay Cooke, of Strabane, refused to take on the contract. — That the Association football match at Devonport last Saturday ' would be better described as water '• polo, and, next time he journeys out -there, George Kent intends to take a i life belt with him. — That Chung Ling Soo's luggage 1 and "properties" were conveyed to his Bteanaer's side by means of an ' ordinary goods waggon, to the sur--1 prise of admirers, who expected to see them transported by a wave of his a magic wand. ' — That sundry householders have 1 made a note of the official raid made r in Christchnreh upon the bakers of ' light-weight bread, and are asking 3 whether tests of the same kind in * Auckland would not ue to the acl van* tage of the eoniamera. , ■ „< :- ,-\ i -.-A /„•<-. i'Ak-A&,:^ : AA- y \A