THE SPEECH ON C. H. POOLE, M.H.R.

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 47, 10 August 1907, Page 18

THE SPEECH ON C. H. POOLE, M.H.R.

REVISED VERSION.

[Editorial Note. — The following apparently verbatim account of Mr C. H. Poole's speech has reached us by Bdarcoßigram from Wellington. In view of the fact that our Parliamentary reporter is thoroughly unreliable, we give this speech for what it is worth, and guarantee it to be entirely inaccurate. It is quite evident, however, that the Hansard staff has grievously failed to do justice to Mr Poole's eloquence. This is reprehensible.]

was walking on the pavement. He could cite thousands of similar instances. They were occurring daily. Things bad come to a pretty pass when a respectable citizen could not stand for ten minutes in front of a moving car without running the risk of being brutally felled to the ground. He felt sure that he had said enough to prove that the. Auckland tramway system was the most murderous and inefficient in the world, and he demauded that the Government should take instant steps to see that it was carried on in a better manner.

MR C. H. POOLE (Auckland West) said that he rose to speak on a subject which was next his heart. He did not allude to any portion of his wearing apparel (Laughter from Mr Poole). He could not help thinking that the House was very slow to see a joke (Snorts from Mr McLachlan, Ashburton). He looked upon the hon. member for Ashburton as a pitiable buffoon. He pitied the object and despised the cause. He wished to call attention to the fact that the Auckland tramway service was the worst in the world (Cheers from Southern members). He would read them a telegram which he had received from an unauthoritative source only that afternoon. Mr Poole then read the following telegram : — '" Shake things up a bit. People are complaining that you are doing nothing. To gain popularity, slate the tram company. — Kneen." At this point, Mr Poole remarked that he thought be had made a slight mistake. He had not intended to read that message, which, as members could see, was of a highly confidential nature. He was afraid that he had mislaid the document which he had intended to read to them. He did not know if the hon. member for Waitemata knew anything about its disappearance. MR E. W. ALIS 'N (Waitemata) rose to a point of order. He pointed out that he represented the largest electorate in New Zealand, an electorate whioh included mighty intellects, such as those of Mr W. J. Napier and the Northcote worms. He demanded the withdrawal of the, remark of the hon. member for City West. MR POOLE pointed out that his remark was intended as a joke; but, as the hon. member for Waitemata was apparently too dense to see it, he would withdraw it. As he had before mentioned, he rose to point out that the Auckland tramway service was the worst in the world. AN HON. MEMBER :— So are the Auckland members (Laughter). MR POOLE said he was sorry to see that there were so many buffoons in the House (Laughter from Mr J. Bollard), of whom the hon. member for Eden was one of the worst. Joking was out of place in the House. He desired to point out, as he said before, that the Auckland tramway service was the worst in the world. Were hon. members aware, for instance, that the company insisted on greasing the wheels of the cars with the common sort of grease which was used on the railways? The employees — especially the conductors, who were sensitive gentlemen — had complained to him that the smell turned them quite faint. If the company were run by anybody but adventurous foreigners, backed up by reckless aldermen, the' best butter only, at Is 2d a pound, would be used for such a purpose. Even the butter which, he understood, was known in domestic circles as "pastry butter" would be better than the common grease which was used at present. It was not right that the employees should be' so cruelly ill-used, and he desired to ask the Minister if he would at once give orders either that the tramway company must use only tbe .best batter for greasing the car wheels, or that a liberal supply of eau-de-cologne must be provided to each of ' the employees — conductors, by reason of their extreme delicacy, to have double rations. "The Hon. Jas. McGowan being absent, the Premier ran a pin into the nether limhs of the Hon. Jas. Carroll, who, on waking, was understood to ■ay that if breakfast was ready he

would get up, also that he wanted his boots cleaned rather better than they had been on the previous day. MX POOLE said that such buffoonery was typical of the Ministry. He considered that the Minister for Native Affairs should at once resign. He (Mr Poole), being an independent member, would be happy to accept a seat in the Cabinet. THE HON. JAMES CARROLL, having learnt what the question was, said that he would be happy to order the issue of ten sacks of eau de-cologne per man per day to the employees ot the Auckland Tramway Company, and he only hoped they would drown themselves. He added that it was quite unnecessary to wake him up in order to answer questions. He was willing to agree to anything from the raising of a ten million loan to giving a grant of 3d for building a new post office for Auckland. The Minister then retired to rest again. MR POOLE said that he was glad to receive the Minister's assurance, but that was not all that he (Mr Poole) had to say (Groans). Members must be aware that in the Arctic climate of Auckland snow-storms, blizzards, and heavy frosts were of frequent occurrence. In the electorate which he had the honour to represent, he had lately heard many people complaining about tbe heavy frost with which that electorate was troubled. But let hon. members consider, if thej could, what must be the lot of tbe poor rnotormen and conductors who had to carry on their duties in the midst of suow, sleet, hail, frost, blizzards, rain, dust, thunder, lightning, battle, murder, sudden death, pestilence, famine, trials, tribulations, mosquitoes, fl-a*, envj , hatred, malice, piracy, barrairy, tire explosions, false doctrine, heresy and schism, and various other thiugs too numerous to mention AN HON. MEMBER: There is no snow in Auckland. MR POOLE: Well, there is thunder, and everybody knows that thunder is only a kind of frozen snow. Continuing, Mr Poole said that it was quite a common occurrence in Auckland for motormen's hands to become so frost-bitten that they were powerless to stop the cars for people who wanted to get on. Very frequently, he was sorry to say, these people were inconsiderate enough to complain to the company, when, in reality, it was the company's fault for not supplying the motormen with glass fronts to the cars. He demanded co know if the Government would force the company to provide each motorman with a gla.-s front to bis car, also with an arm chair, a foot-warmer, a spirit stove, and a muff, also, each conductor with anything for which he might ask. THE PREMIER said that this would be attended to at once. MR POOLE also pointed out that the slipper brakes in use on the Auckland cars were very inferior. He was informed oh good authority that the company was collecting all the discarded carpet slippers which had. accumulated in the various back yards in the city. He was also informed that the company had trained a number of cats to prowl round at night and serenade people, in, order that they might get slippers thrown at them. The company then sent men round to gather up the spoils, and used them as brakes on the cars. This was a scandalous state of affairs, both as regards the company and the cats. He wished also to draw the attention of the Government to the vast number of accidents which had been narrowly averted on the Auckland lines. He himself knew of a man who would inevitably have been killed by a ear had it not been for the fact that he