THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 47, 10 August 1907, Page 7

THEY SAY

— That Claude Abbott is about to become an Abbott of the benedictine order. — That the Venasberg scene is another attraction for the baldheads. It beats the Brocken hollow. — That a coalition is probable between W. J. Napier and theNorthcote Worms' Association. Alec Alison, beware ! — That Slaporlski is looking worried. No wonder. Testing the voices of budding amateur operatic stars must be a trying job. — That Onehunga is the most strictly proper town in the colony. This is accounted for by the fact that Mrs Grundy lives there. — That about the only sport in which New Zealand has not proved her supremacy is golf. Will W. J. Napier kindly oblige ? — That the Herald's very foggy reproduction of the proposed Grafton Bridge was about on a par with P. A. Vaile's cardboard Town Hall. — That the Auckland members have done their annual work of deputationising Sir Joseph. Now they can sleep soundly for the rest of the session. — That George George has only just come back in time. John Payne was rapidly pining away without his idol. John has an affectionate disposition. — That the endless prayer chain which is now penetrating New Zealand is more productive of endless curses than endless prayers. Ask John Fuller. — That Mick Walsh has cabled home to Sir Conan Doyle to send Sherlock Holmes out at once. Sherlock would unravel the burglary mystery in a minute. — That Jack Endean, junior, will soon own as many soows in Auckland harbour as he has hairs on his head, but it is to be hoped the scows will not disappear as quickly. — That Arthur Kosser is looking with envious eyes on the' Canterbury farm labourers' dispute. The crossexamination of 7000 farmers would be a job after Arthur's heart. — That the Devonport Borough Council are heaving mighty sighs of relief over the failure of that £40 compensation claim against them. They can'c afford luxuries of that kind. — That a Rotorua paper, in chronicling the visit of the Crown Prosecutor's understudy to that town, , calls him Mr " Sidney " Maya. Such is fame. Won't Fred Earl chuckle ? , 7— That when the cat's away the mice will play. If C. J. Parr hadn't left us, the strap-haDging trouble would never have occurred. Christopher James would stand no nonsense from the employees. — That now is the psychological moment for a Russian or German invasion. New Zealand's navy, in the shape of the Lady Roberts, is tied up to the Queen-street wharf, and the dredger is the only warship available. —That a prominent Auckland horse owner who journeyed South to see his equine wonder perform used his voice with such effect, intermixing choice metaphors, that he surprised the powers that ran the Wellington Racing to such an extent that the second day's racing saw the stand barred to the Northerner.

— That; Dear Cliye Lowe is going to produce another alleged comic opera. That knighthood of W> S. Gilbert's must have done .it; / •. — That £hd Smythe salute is becoming fashionable at Devonport. , It is given with two hands and both feet, with a special graceful back kick of the body. ■ . . — That the ancient bricks from the old Enterprise Hotel are to be dumped down in Ponsonby Road in the shape of a new building. There's nothing like economy. — That the " Carmen " produced by the German Opera Company has nothiog to do with the troubles of the Auckland car-men. But it was a very apropos theme. — That Marsden Mander has not yet cleared away his late journalistic proprietorship worry. It's a deep and cold venture for the amateur to take a quick plunge into. — That Louis Blitz's air of superiority is maddening. Louis is about the only man in Auckland who can understand what the German Opera crowd are singing about. — That with all his fancy prancing and curvetting around the big Technical Education ring down South, no one seemed extremely anxious to lassoo our only George George. — That it would be interesting to see what would happen if Arthur Rosser entered a car which already contained the maximum number. Would he be thrown out, too ? — That the action of Arthur Myers in communicating with the Tramway Representatives in London, as Mayor, without the sanction of the Council, is making some of the councillors see red. —That the Baptist Tabernacle people are keeping a watchful eye on H. M. Stneeton. His convictions are easily changed, and it would never do to let such a sheep wander from the fold. — That Peter Virtue is thinking of having a direct telegraphic wire to Wellington fitted up in bia ferro-con-crete palace. Then he could sit at his ease and direct the Government's policy. — That quite a lot of people claim to have seen the comet with the naked eye. That disreputable comet with the naked eye ought to be gaoled ont of respect for the feelings of the W.C.T.U. —That Wilfred Rathbone's handling of the gun at the Parnell school miniature range inspired great confidence in the scholars and visitors around. After he had fired the gun they felt safe. ' —That the City Council want the Government to improve the Helensville hot springs. But surely they can find sufficient hot water to get into in Auckland. The Tramway employees would provide it free. — That the name of Colonel Holgate ' does not appear among the new appointments to the Military Intelligence Department. But the Colonel's travelling experiences would make him an ideal man for the job. ■ — That the male creature carries his period of sense as well as the female as regards hair. In our father's time it was the full-sense beard; in the passing age the half -sense moustache. Now the clean shave holds sway. What about the next ? — That it is more than possible, after . the late Mamaku disaster, that Ewen Alison will obtain all the leave he requires to build coal waggons, but not at the Government workshops'. They will be running full time to make up for lost stock. — That more than one ancient Rugbyite-in New Zealand is shaking in ' his shoes and anxiously awaiting the result of next Saturday's .football match in New South Wales. Rumours of an unkindly , nature, with filthy ' lucre in the background, give it an All-Black appearance, ■