PARS ABOUT PEOPLE

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 46, 3 August 1907, Page 4

PARS ABOUT PEOPLE

JOHN STALLWORTHY caught a tartar in the House the other day when he tackled E. W. Al ison abou t. a noxious weedsprosecution which was once instituted against Mr Alison. John, being a Prohibitionist, appears to be .anxious to emulate the example of Tommy Taylor by fetching up the private affairs of members. Whether the prosecution of Mr Alison was justifiable or not, the fact remains that Mr Stallworthy would have shown better taste had he Dot referred to it. But it is somewhat idle to look for good taste from Prohibitionists. These apostles of purity and moderation have succeeded in building up an unenviable reputation for themselves as regards their public utterances, and John of Dargaville appears to be no exception. But John was effectually crushed, and consequently had to climb down.

A question which is agitating the community just at present is whether the Trades and Labour Council belongs to delegate D'Autbreau, or whether delegate D'Authreau belongs to the Trades and Labour Council. It is a pertinent question, because, judging from the account of the last meeting, the

honour and gloTrjfiiof' ixJoving-ibosfc di the^.^xeaolutions., .belonged to Mr D'Authreau. "First" of alii the great and only D'Authreau (who apparently is descended from French aristocrats, or why the prefix "de"?) paternally patted the local bodies on their little heads for the stand they had taken in the tramway business.

But it is apparent that the doughty D'Authreau can be very terrible when roused, for he proceeded to emphatically protest against strap -hanging, and he also made anxious inquiries as to whether the tram company was going to get the employees' uniforms made locally. Of course, Mr D'Authreau may be a tailor, but still bis action was noble in its disinterestedness. Evidently, the mighty hand of Mr D'Authreau is going to descend with a hard smack on the City Council if they don't mend their ways. Which is a black look-out for the City Council. So far as the Trades and Labour Council is concerned, Arthur Jtlosser will have to look to his laurels, fora greater than he has arisen.

The Sydney Bulletin is straying from the paths of truthfulness in its old age. In the last issue to hand it makes the awful statement that Tom Wilf ord has sat in Parliament since he was 21. If it were possible for a lawyer to blush, under any circumstances, it is probable that Thomas did so if he read that par. In '97 Tom Wilford was leading counsel for the defence in the Bosher murder case. He first won a seat in the House in 1899, and, as he was then only 21, according to the Bulletin, he must have been only 19 when he undertook the defence of Bosher. Toaa must have been an infant phenomenon.

When C. H. Poole, under the paternal care of J. K. Kneen, stood for City West at the last general election, be blazoned forth the claptrap motto, "If I can serve mankind, 'tis well." Probably it would be well if Mr Poole would turn his attention to serving the mankind of the City West electorate. So far. his record has been one of gnastly failure, and now, evidently seeking for some lever with which to draw himself into the public glare, he trots out in Parliament the Auckland tram oars and holds the system up to the gaze of the rest of the colony as " dangerous and inefficient." We have had plenty of cries of stinking fish from Auckland members in the past, without C. EL Poole adding to the number. If C. H. Poole can serve mankind, 'tis well, but if C. H. Poole can do anything to justify his election, 'twill be better.

The brawny nether limbs of Pafc Sutherland have delighted more people than the devotees of football. When Pat was in America, he joined the big British versus Boer war spectacle at the Chicago Exhibition, and, by virtue of his model nether limbs, was promptly drafted into the Gordon Highlanders' corps. A photo brought back from the spot by a returned Aucklander shows the Gordons with their deadly blank cartridges and sporrans, and bagpipes, and other instruments of death, intrepidly marching on to the Held of death and sawdust. Those who have only seen Pat in a prosaic and muddy football costume might not recognise him in his kilts, for the splendour of the gay Gordons rests upon him. Now, if Pat would only appear as full-back for Grafton with a kilt on, the available accommodation at Alexandra Park would prove inadequate.

One of the tales which Frank Warren, the wanderer, tells concerns a black pearl ring which he wears on one of bis manly fingers. When Frank was in the Phillipiue war, the Chinese vegetable vendors were much addicted to looting :<So were other people who were not Chows, but that's a detail). The, Chinese, being childlike .and bland, had their own methods of conveying tbfji.r ill gotten goods to a place b J f security, but what this method was ttie authoritiea were unable to ascer-

tain. One day, the corps of which Frank was a unit was ordered oub into the country on some particular duty. On the road they mcc a squad of innocent Chows, each of whom had a couple of innocent buckets, filled apparently with innocent water, slung at the end of an innocent pole over Mb innocent shoulders. In fact, everything was very innocent.

One of the European soldiery, however, apparently came to the con* elusion that ie was his duty, as a soldier and a man, to massacre one of the innocent Chows. Consequently, he jumped at an innocent Chow and sent him flying. Naturally, the in* nocent buckets fell off the innocent pole and were overturned. The innocent water ran out, and, lo and behold ! at the bottom of those innocent buckets was discovered an assortment of looted jewellery. A search among the buckets borne by the other childlike Chows resulted in a vast quantity of valuable loot being discovered. The black pearl ring was Frank's share of the loot — only it was no longer loot. In European hands it attained to the dignified title of " spoils of war."

Robin Hay, who will be remembered here in connection with amateur opera, i 3 a member of Musgrove's Grand Opera Coiupany. Robin is not a German, but that's a detail. The main point is that he can warble. He was last here with Dixs pantomime company some years ago, and since then he has wandered in Australia. Truly, Auckland 'vocalists go far afield. Where, for instance, are the old favourites of the Amateur Opera Club? Tracy Hall is dead. Percy Blackman and Arthur Murphy .are, in the South. Charlie Chambers wandered afar with the Westminster Glee Singers. Ernie Schatz is rarely seen in Auckland for any length of tithe. George Warren modestly secludes himself in Hamilton. Apparently, abput the only one left is Archdale Tayler, and he rarely comes before the public now-a-days. But we still have our only Abel Rowe left, and that is a sufficient compensation for many losses. As for the ladies, ( let us be unchivalrous. enough to say they don't coun t. They go and get married, and the stage rarely sees them aj&y . ..more* • ■ :.;■.,.■.•. ,-v. •..-.., ■-■:•? ■*":.v -■.•■>»>«.^*s>x:

N. A. Nathan says that the Cham" ber of Commerce can ask Auckland members of Parliament to watch the moneys being expended on railways and see that the North Island gets a fair share of what is due. Blessed is he that expecteth little, for he shall be in no wise disappointed. Of course the Chamber of Commerce can" go on asking till the cows come home, and that's about as far as it will get. With the exception of Mr Alison, Auckland members appear to be satisfied to draw their £300 a year and do nothing — except fight among themselves. 'Twas ever thus.

What do our Cabinet Ministers think of this? Cabled that, at his own desire, Mr Winston Churchill (Undersecretary for the Colonies) will pay the cost of his living and transport — during his forthcoming tour of British East Africa, in connection with the abolition of slavery. This is all very well for Winston Churchill, who is a wealthy man, but if it were not for the travelling allowances and other similar pickings, it would be scarcely worth while being a Cabinet Minister in New Zealand.

The death of Father Hayes, which occurred recently, will probably not come as a very great surprise to those who heard him lecture when he waß here some three years ago. One glance at him was sufficient to tell that his constitution was not a strong one. Father Hayes was known as the " apostle of temperance," but he was very different from the usual run of temperance orators. He scrupulously avoided all exaggerated statements, and the style of his oratory was simplicity itself. By the use of » these methods, he held a power which could never be attained to by the Prohibition ranter. He was temperate in all things, even in talk, and therein lay the secret of his success. By his death, the temperance cause has lost a doughty champion. Men like him accomplish more in the interests of true temperance in a week than the frothiest mouched Prohibition ranter can do in twenty years.

We always maintained that sooner or later the V.M.C.A. would get mixed up as regards its secretaries. A. week or two ago, Lieut. -Col. Permaud, " world's organising secretary," came through these parts, and now we read the following announcement in the Star : — " Miss Clarissa Spencer, the world's organising secretary of the V.M.C.A., arrived in Auckland at the beginning of this week, and has been lecturing on behalf of the institution to good meetings." This is a serious matter. W hich is the only genuine "world's organisingsecretary" — Miss Clarissa Spencer or Lieut -Col. Fermaud? And, anyway, why shouldn't the Christian young men employ a member of the sterner sex as " world's organising secretary ?" Perhaps heathen young men are more susceptible to female influence.

Andrew Rutherford, the funny man of the Rouse, expressed some anxiety the other night to know whether goats had been introduced to Queen-street in Auckland to eradicate the weeds growing there. Non^of the Auckland city members were prepared with a reply. However, Mr Rutherford may rest easy in his mind. There are no goats here yet. But, as there has been some talk of an influx from the South, the sooner he comes the better, if he wishes to be the first in the field.

W. S. Liddle, the Caledonian crank who is biking round the world "on the never," says that he has never begged a penny, but will gladly accept money to help him along. This is a subtle distinction. Making known through the press that, although you don't ask for money, still you are willing to accept it if offered, is about the thinnest disguise that it is possible to place, on brazen mendicancy. It would better become this misguided individual if he turned to and did a little hard work. The man who may be down on his luck, and has no lawful visible means of support, is promptly gaoled, while another man may, by virtue of unlimited cheek, go on his way unchecked. Let us once more emphatically remark, "The law is the biggest hass that ever brayed."

S. E. Greville Smith, who has just been appointed to a lucrative position on ihe stafi of the New Zealand Times, is one of the most capable journalists and readiest writers that the Auckland press has produced. For many years, he was connected with the Waikato Times, as well as several Australian metropolitan newspapers, and subsequently filled with credit the position of associate-editor of the Observer. Then the impulse seized him to seek his fortune in South Africa, but the conditions of life there failing to commend themselves to him, he returned and took up the editorship of the Blenheim Express. His many friends in this part of the colony will be pleased to hear of his new appointment, which gives him an opportunity to distinguish himself in the field of journalism in the Empire City.

Mrs Pember Reeves haa been telling London women suffragists that they could not find a roomful of factory girls in New Zealand who did not know the provisions of the factory act. But things have changed since Mrs Reeves's time. The factory girl, or any other person who can keep note in her or his head of the manifold amendments and alterations which have from time to time been added to the original Act, deserves to be exhibited as a champion mnemonist. Lightning calculation would be nothing to it. But, no doubt, female suffragists would be equal to the job.

Marie Hall, the talented little violinist who has created such a furore everywhere, combines with her playing a very pleasing manner. At oue of her recitals there were present- two old gentlemen who had evidently come in from the back - blocks. They were sitting somewhat apart from the rest, in the most expensive seats. Unlike Solomon in all bis glory, they wore no evening dress. Their clothes were muddy, and their boots were redolent of the. roadless North. But they were mightily enthusiastic over the playing and applauded each item loudly. It was noticeable that Miss Hall, after making a comprehensive bow to the whole audience, turned round on each occasion and gave a special bow to those two old gentlemen. It was a pleasing and graceful act, for after all, small matters like these -often form the criterion by which people are gauged.

It is on the cards that Mr Murdoch McLean will proceed Home shortly to engage an engineer to look * after the Arthur's Pass tunnel contract, which has been secured by John McLean and Sons, of which firm Mr Murdoch McLean is the senior partner. Their accepted tender was at the price of £599,000, the largest contract ever let south of the line, and, as it is whispered that the engineer's estimate was just under half-a-million, the firm stands to make a cool hundred thousand over the deal. This is not the only pot they have on the fire. There is the Wellington dock contract, which represents aquarter of-a-million ; also the Auckland harbour reclamation contract, besides a quantity of smaller jobs here and there. Mr Neil McLean, the junior partner, looks after the firm's interests in the South, and Mr Murdoch McLean is one of our local residents.

Tom Tuohy was always famed for his wrestling, but he is now apparently desirous of achieving a reputation for practical joking. Anyway, Tom brought oft a good one recently. He discovered an unsophisticated tourist who was in search of a stuffed kiwi to take Hocne and show to his admiring relatives. Tom solemnly assured the tourist that he knew of the very bird to suit him. '■ It's a big bird," said Tom, "and it's v a beautiful gold colour. I guess the price will be a bit stiff." The tourist pooh-poohed the idea. Money was no object. He wanted the best kiwi that was on the market. Consequently, they hailed a cab and set off in search of that wondrous bird spoken of by the humorous Tom.

In due course, the cab, after being driven all round and about the city (at the unsophisticated tourist's expense), drew up in front of the premises of a certain wholesale druggist's establish* nient in Albert-street, which ia surmounted by a colossal plaster cast of the firm's trade-mark — a golden kiwi. The employees had all left for home and the premises were closed.. " Now," said Tom, as he assisted the tourist out of the cab, " this is the place where you'll get your kiwi." "But the place is dosed," objected the tourist. "What about it ?" retorted Tom. "AH you've got to do is to climb up to the roof and sneak the bird. Good evening!" And he decamped, leaving the unsophisticated tourist to ponder ovqr the exact reason why he left hjs happy home and came to winder among ribald stt angers, ,