THE AUCKLAND PEACE CONFERENCE.

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 41, 29 June 1907, Page 18

THE AUCKLAND PEACE CONFERENCE.

A WARLIKE MEETING

For the Observer,

A MEETING, under the auspices of the Auckland Peace Society, was :. • held yesterday in the Drill Hall. Mr Jas. Aggers, suppdrted by theTrades and Labour, Council's Rifle Brigade (organised for the purpose of shooting employers, and commanded by Major- General Pratt), annexed the chair after a short but bloodthirsty skirmish.' Mr Aggers cnnounced that the meeting had been called together • for the purpose of lending support to the Peace Conference now proceeding at the Hague. He felt suve that if the Czar of Russia, the Emperor of Germany, and other peaceable people knew that the enlightened public of Auckland were in favour of international disarmament, they would be greatly cheered by the knowledge. He had already ddspatched a cablegram to the Emperor of Germany, informing him that he (Mr Aggers) was in favour of arbitration. He had received a reply. Unfortunately, the reply was written in German, a language which he (Mr Aggers) did not understand. He bad (_su bruit ted it to Mr Carl Seegner for translation, but he (Mr Seegner) had- refused to translate it on the grounds that he was averse to the use of profanity. He (Mr Aggers) gathered from Mr Seegner that the reply was of a forcible and emphatic nature, which showed that the Emperor had been much impressed by his (Mr Agger's) remarks. However, he did not wish to detain them with a long speech, and he would merely^ conclude by remarking^hat the use of firearms and implements of war against their fellow men was a disgrace to. civilisation. Anybody who disagreed with this theory ought to be shot. He desired to point out that a penitent's bench bad been provided for the use of those who wished to turn from their evil ways. Mr H. Dearsley, President of the Peace Society, cordially endorsed Mr Aggers' remarks. Only that day he had experienced some of the horrors of war. While passing through Freeman's Bay on his way to town, he had been violently smitten on a certain part of his anatomy by a bullet propelled by some evil-minded person through the medium of a catapult. This happened just after he had passed Mr Aggers' boot emporium. He bad been very much pained and shocked to find Mr Aggers demanded to know if Mr Dearsley was insinuating that he (Mr Aggers) had assaulted him (Mr Dearsley) with a catapult. If so, he (Mr Aggers) would trouble him (Mr Dearsley) to come outside and repeat the remark. Mr A. E. Glover, speaking from the penitent's bench, on which he had taken his seat, deprecated the war : like tone of Mr Aggers' utterances. He (Mr Glover) was a man of peace. . He had lately been trying to convert the City Council to his peaceful views, but he had found it such an up-hill fight that he had washed his hands of the whole aflair, and had since been devoting his talents to the interests of the movement for the abolition of barmaids. He now proposed to give them his views on that subject. It would not take more than two hours or so. Mr C. J. Parr strongly objected to Mr Glover taking up the time of the meeting with each irrelevant matter. Mr Glover said that if it was not for the presence of such men as Mr Parr, he felt sure that he could convert the City Council to the principles of the Peace Society. Mr Parr: That is a gross libel on me, sir, and, as such, I shall immediately place' the whole affair, in the hands of my solicitor. I consider Mr Glover ■•.: Oh, dry up 1 I ? ll fight a; bottle of oysters — the winv"£er|o. pay. for stout.

The Chairman (Mr Aggers) : Will you sit down, sir ? MrGlovqr: Yes, sir; I will, sir. At this point, Mr Glover, after proving his peaceful propensities by throwing the penitent's bench at the chairman, left the room, stating that be had an appointment to attend a meeting of the vigilance committee of the Women's Christian Temperance Union, where he considered that affairs would be considerably more exciting than they had been at the present meeting. The Rev. J. Wilson said that he was afraid that the rising generation seemed to be strangely averse to peaceful methods. It was only the other day that he had been violently assaulted and battered by some desperate ruffians of tender years. He regretted to say that one of the missiles, which bore a strong resemblance to half a brick, had caught him on the jaw. This had seriously interfered with his smile, and he was particularly proud of that smile, as were also the ladies of the mission. It also prevented Mm from telling funny stories. Mr Dixon Ward said that, after all, it was an ill wind that blew nobody' any good. He (Mr Ward) had once, by an unfortunate mistake, been present at one of Mr Wilson's mission meetings, and had heard one of the funny stories which Mr Wilson talked about. He (Mr Ward) had not felt quite well since. Mr Wilson suggested that perhaps Mr Dixon Ward knew somethingabout the assault and battery on him (Mr Wilson). Mr Dixon Ward said that, while he might have meditated over the idea, he had not, as yet, carried it into actual practice. If, however, Mr Wilson had bad his mission band present at the time of the assault, the action of the assaulters could be easily explained. Mr W. B. Leyland cordially endorsed the sentiments of the previous speakers. At one time, he was sorry to say that he had been a member of a bloodthirsty organisation called the Natioual League. If Mr Glover, in bis enthusiasm, had not broken the penitent's bench by throwing it at the chairman, he (Mr Leyland) would have been pleased to sit on it. Perhaps the next best thing he could do would be to sit upon the chairman. The Chairman (Mr Aggers) said that although he was a peaceable man as a general rule, still he thought that he had more than once shown the world that he was not to be sat upon with impucity. . Mr S. E. Hughes deprecated the warlike tone of the chairman's remarks. He (Mr Hughes), had been labouring for many years in the wilds of Ponsonby, trying to convert the heathen to a more peaceful state of mind. His efforts had been wonderfully blessed, but he was sorry to find that his exhortations had, so far, no effect on Mr S. D. Hanna or Mr J. R. Self. Of course, he was well aware that in this world there- were many people who were beyond the pale of civilisation, and to whom the primitive instincts alone appealed. He had spent much valuable time in appealing to Mr Hanna through the medium of a pea-rifle. As for Mr Self, he (Mr Hughes) was sorry to find that he (Mr Self) exhibited a most stubborn spirit. As he noticed that Messrs Hanna and Self, with great indelicacy, were i present, and appeared to be getting i somewhat excited, he (Mr Hughes) would say no more, as he did not i desire to arouse a military spirit in • the room. i Mr. J, R. Self. here attempted to - speak, but was ruled out of order by ; the chairman, who,, stated that they • did not want any swashbucktering at . that meeting.

Mr J. E. Taylor said that if they wished to realise the horrors of war, it was only necessary for them to take a trip to Mangere and view the historic battlefield of Cocky Orawford*s gate. He had prepared a short paper to read to the meeting, entitled, " The Theory of National Disarmament as applied to the Logarithematical Motor Ataxis of Cocky Crawford, with a General Dissertation on the Theory of Prohibition, Practically Applied to the Solution of the Manukau Canal Hypothefuscation," consisting of 257 folios, followed by a lecture entitled, " Two- Hours Outside a Bar Room, and What I Saw There," with an appreciative preface by R. T. Michaels. This would not take more than seven hours to give. At this point the Cardinal entered the room with the announcement that a healthy dog fight was in progress outsjde, and the Peace Conference broke up hurriedly to go out and watch the fun.