THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 40, 22 June 1907, Page 7

THEY SAY

— That though Stevie Hughes has got the award of his Swift Avenue Royal Commission, he isn't a bit happy over it t . — That Walter Monk, the jovial representative of J. C. Williamson, belies his name — he is far from being an ascetic person. —That they call the Tiffin the Stiff-un because of the luncheon charges. Something- to pay for the supposed toney connection. — That the reason why Alf. Harris was able to keep cool at the school committee election row was because he was affected by the Frost. — That the English Grand Lodge Masonic regalia went astray at Bemuera last week, and just arrived in time to save the handkerchief trick. — That Mr Justice Williams should act the heavy father over the romantic ending of the nose-biting case. Why not the judge to give the bride away ? — That W. J. Napier has not seen R. H. Froude's invitation to explain that Devon port telephone matter. Besides, he has already explained it to the Star. —That Johnny Kowe's suburban city has prohibited wandering geese. Ducks are not to be interfered with. Onehunga is famous for its fascinating duckies. — That some of the hapuka yarns swapped by theTaniwha piscatorialists at last week's dinner were tough enough to have landed a respectablesized whale. — That the city councillors, after viewing the dirty cardboard njonstrosity in the chemist's window, were unanimous in the opinion that P. A. Vaile is no builder. — That it will be a bad look-out for Judge Kettle if S. E. Hughes ever becomes Minister of Justice. And everything is possible to a member of the Liberal and Labour Federation. — That, as a centre of excitement, Mangere is beginning to knock Waibi flat. The removal of " Cocky Crawford's" gate would appear to have opened the way for much disturbance. — That a good many Auckland people would be glad to sell their properties at the prices that have been recently fixed by the Government valuers. Another turn of the taxation screw. — That Judge Kettle and Jerry Lundon have found a common cause at last in the crusade against the courthouse bacteria. Jerry felt almost surprised at himself after saying ''ditto " to the bench. — That P. A. Vaile's efforts to boom the sale of the Philson site have fallen flatter than his alleged flat-iron. A greater Vaile than himself— Sammy, to wit — tried to sell the Philson property to the city and failed. — That the squirming of the moneylending folk over ■ the Post Office Savings Bank action in raising the interest . on deposits will only cause Premier. Ward to chuckle and "keep on doing it." Why shouldn't the small man have as reasonable races as the fat man? . - —That the Northern S..S. Company were caught napping when they let the Claymore elide into outside hands at a moment when .the loss of the Kia Ora made her ' indispensable to them. However, partners William Parker and Jimmy Lamb are ' benevolent aouls, and will notMe the Company stack. "I

—That though the Hon; J. A, Tple is a K.C., the day will come when his understudy, Selwyn Mays, will be a K.C.B. — That "men »re wanted on theMain Trunk line." This seems to be a y reflection on the sex of the workers v now engaged. — That C. J. Parr thinks the way of the transgressor is not as hard as it ought to be. Fairly hard for the transgressor just now, anyhow. — That, through the daily papers, someone wants to sell a "magnificent gentleman's residence." The magnificent gentleman's name is not ■" disclosed. — /That Alf. Harm struggled bard to save the East Tamaki householders from being Frostbitten, but failed. It will take the district a year to recover. ' ; . — That P. J. Nerbeny is getting measured for a new frocK-coat. Coming events, such as Legislative Council appointments, cast theit Bhadows before. — That Auckland Harbour Board furnished the first big brief for the newly-fledged corps of K.C.'s. Bnt was there no local K.C. big enough for the billet ? — That a certain insurance clerk of pious connections had reason to congratulate himself on the acquittal of young Sheppard on the charge of criminal assault. — That the opening of the new section of the Queen-street wharf has been a profitable thing for the Ferro Concrete Company. . But what did the specifications provide ? — That bank notes are great propagators of disease. Most people are willing to risk the disease so long as they can get the notes. The remedy must be a homoeopathic one. —That Mr Arnold, M.H.R., will scarcely thank the cable man in Sydney for wiring that he is much impressed with the management of the gaols of New South Wales. Ahem ! — That a Southern man, charged with drunkenness and "language," says he knew nothing about the language, " because he was very deaf." There is a bit of a problem here for somebody. — That nobody can find in Lord Byron's works the comedy "War to the Knife" that was performed by Northcote amateurs last week. And yet the screamer must be his, for the attar says so. — That the housewives of Auckland are agreed that the strain is becoming too great. What with the measles in the house or to be dodged, and a domestic servants' union in course of formation, life is scarcely worth living. — That the presence of Hector Norman Simson in Wellington may not be wholly unconnected with the vacancies in the Legislative Council. Hector's aristocratic air would be just the thing to give the required tone to the Lords. —That it is a burning injustice that New Zealand is not represented on the Peace Conference. James Aggers - should report the matter to the allpowerful Trades and Labour Council. Peaceful James would make a good delegate. — That Auckland is getting together quite a respectable Zoo. What with Northcote worms and Tamaki Kilkenny cats, the collection will soon be quite unique. And there are liona at bevonport. W. J, Napier and John Fullei, for instance. — That the Donne* proposal, of a close .season . for fishing at Rotorua nearly threw the Rod and Gan Club of that district into the arms of the Auckland Acclimatization Society. Rotorua without a fishing season ! Where is the Official Assignee ? — — That the newspaper writer jwho remarked that something, was "as old as Melchisidec," should really, study Scripture. Mel., etc., was a mere infant compared witli Methuselah. Wherein lies the advantage of having - been brought up to the Church,