THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 38, 8 June 1907, Page 7

THEY SAY

— That there were high jinks in a 2ertain gentleman's club last Thursday night. What was wrong with the clock ? — That Dr Stopford has gone to Kotorua. Strange how attractive hot water appears to be to some people. — That Benny Myers met another hunting snag, and fell in consequence. The charger's name is now changed, for luck. — That there are signs that Minister J.A.M. will soon have another portfolio added to his list — that of Minister for Millers. — That a gentleman named Blue was fined for ming obscene language at Masterton last week. His name was Blue, and so was his language. — That P. M. Mackay was mealymouthed in declaring the recent ambulance scandal to be " almost a disgrace." What need fof any qualifying ilvord ? — That it is doubtful whether Auckland will see the big battleship Powerful agiin, and whether she will not soon be consigned to the Admiralty scrap-heap. — That Zealandia Archie Clark wants to know what Professor Egerton means by comparing the university to a shirt factory, it's an insult to the factory. — That it will be a very venturesome person who dares to talk " banquet " to Sir Joseph Ward for the next six months— the great London series has so surfeited him. — That Lower Queen-street, as the result of the plague turn - out, has begun to indulge in an " uppish feeling of cleanliness." But it is not yet settled who is to pay the piper. — That, on his Main Trunk line mission, Bishop Wallis held a service in a billiard room. From which it may be inferred that the Bishop has, at one time, made a very good Canon. — That there is a paradox in the statement of the papers that an upcountry butcher was injured when he was boning a piece of meat. For the meat that he "boned" was his own, after all. — That things have been lively in Hamilton lately. Chemistry and dentiscry have clashed. The cnemist has been manning his guns against the unwarranted foe. Latest betting quotations not available. — That "Long Drive" Walker's little romance in his " eighties" does not stand alone. In the same week another vigorous youth of 78, living at Waimate, united himseli to a skittish young thing of fifty. — That since it was announced that witnesses in the Crumpe murder case would probably have a free trip Home, it is quite remarkable how many people are claiming to have known Crumpe intimately. — That the increasing price of the Tramway Company's shares denotes good business. That good business denote good dividends. That good dividends denote good profits, which further denotes that Paul also is among the profits. — That W. J. Napier's pilgrimage to Wellington as general ambassador to the Government for the northern side of the harbour was not meant to pave the way for the general election of next year. Just personal philanthropy, that's all.

— That Roto ma's Hamilton- Grapes has gone South by steamer. It is not stated whether he took his motor-car with him or not. — That Market McHugh has not been propping any of his doors open with hits of wood lately. It comes too expensive in the long run. — That the health-cleaning of an Auckland city solicitor's cellar produced, amongst other wreckage, twelve dozen champagne empties — relics of old battles. ■* — That, before the Orakei outfall question is decided, there are tse possibilities of a serious fall-out jbetween the city and the nabobsTttf Kemuera. — That the returned contingenters, or what is left of them, are thinking of inviting Louis Botha to New Zealand. Perhaps they want to tell him "why they did it." t&. — That Mayor Basley is taking a hint or two from Judge Denniston on the way to keep Jerry Lundon in subjection. But he needn't trouble. William Johns will look after that. — That the Board of Education has ordered twelve cases of sweet violets perfume for the use of aesthetic school mistresses who object to unfragrant and perspiring boys that play football. — That the great theological discussion at the bar between Jacks Kneen and Patterson was only saved from tragedy by the timely interference of Pat Nerheny. He slew them with a jaw-breaker. — That there is some difference of opinion at Devonport as to whether those telephone concessions were obtained by W. J. Napier or a party by the name of Kheimers. Perhaps it was the Mailed Fist. — That more than one eminent politician secured an interest in a splendid thing in the Urewera country before the district was thrown open to prospectors. Development of the country, of course. — That Secretary Sheath, of the Stock Exchange is to be chief inspector and instructor of the Auckland Water Police. His knowledge of motors and gold robbers in the past has made him a past master at the business. — That in its report of the Trades and Labour Council meeting the Star referred to Arthur Rosser as Cl Dr Kosser." What will the British Medical {Association say ? But perhaps Arthur's fees justify the title. — That the Hospital Board has decided to ask the Finance Committee if it is the Board's duty to keep the ambulance at the hospital. Why not set up a Common-sense Committee? It is a matter of common-sense. — That there is no truth in the rumour that the promoters of the professional football team are recruiting the team from the Costley Home. But it is not quite certain how they are to get a team together otherwise. — That-" What Happened to Jones" is a theme of conversation among Symonds-street people just now. It is understood that Jones had something to do with a heavy fall in jewellery, and there was a bit of a Massickre. — That the weather on the Prince of Wales's Birthday was quite sultry — especially in the vicinity of the post office. Several prominent business men got quite over- heated. That was because tney could not get their mails to cool them down. — That the daily papers, with their usual negligence, have omitted to state whether John Payne was present at the Old Etonians' dinner held locally. It may be taken for granted that he was. No aristocratic ehivoo would be complete without him. — That the ex- Honourable William McCullough is " boiling " in Auckland City just now, preparing for the ancient and modern Parliamentary rep. meeting to come oft at VV. J. Speight's Pacific Club.- W. J. says the boils are old sins coming forward to give evidence.