THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 36, 25 May 1907, Page 7

THEY SAY

— That some professional men are badly afflicted with "rats." — That the Chows ot Auckland have established a secret society amongst themselves. It has not transpired whether the policy is to be defensive or oifensive. — That J. H. Hannan has broken out in a new iplace, as a professional orchardist. But his latest experience as a supplier of the fruit market was by no means a happy one. — That the defeat of Arthur Rosser in his candidature for all public positions is only an example of history repeating itself. It's "The Passing of Arthur " over again. — That there was a sulphurous outburst in Lower Queen-street last w.eek. Frederick Moore's innate Imperial spirit was not strong enough to stand the strain. Hence the sulphur. — That there is some talk of sending Captain Bob Gibbons, of the Apanui, Home to teach Burgess how to swim the Channel. The skipper has been hid log his light under a bushel. , — That the consumption of snufi in the coiouy increased 8 per cent, last year. Dr Walker ought really to be careful. Too much of a good thing — even snuff" — is bad for anybody. — That the Masonic pilgrims who have returned from Invercargill can tell some interesting stories about the working of no-license. They brought back no distressing thirsts, anyhow. — That New Zealand Labour bodies are trying to engineer a conference in London. Too bad. If Londoners once got hold of Arthur Rosser and his talents, we should rever see him again. — That the blushing Masonic honours which Murdoch McLean brought back with him from Invercargill are hardly a circumstance compared with those that are in store for Oily Nicholson nexfc year. — That the oyster bed question will never be settled till the Government summon Albert Sanford to Wellington and commission him to take the matter in hand. Albert reckons he can fix it in one act. — That none of the Auckland AllBlacks will own up to enrolment in the proposed team of pot - hunting footballers for the Old Country. But the wink in certain "other eyes" means volumes. — That Charley Rhodes is sharpening up a set of pegs to stake out the bank of tailings that is said to be blocking up the Thames river. He has seen fortunes made from less promising claims before now. — That, according to the Star, the atmosphere of Rotorua is to be " preserved." This is a good idea. " Canned Rotorua Atmosphere," Star brand, will soon be an item in every well-regulated family. — That the pressmen on the Auckland dailies heave sighs of envy when they hear of the big salaries that are going in connection v\ith the proposed Opposition paper in Wellington. Still, the drain on good men in the South ought to bring about a general level-ling-up. — That Chairman Bagley, of the One Tree Hill Domain Board, complains that players are in the habit of driving golf balls over children's heads. Why not? Surely he doesn't want them to be driven against the children's heads. Even a hardened golfist like Dr Bamford wouldn't do that.

— That some people in Auckland are emphatically of the opinion that the plague cannot be one whit worse than the inspectors. — That the bankruptcies on the West Coast show an increase for the last quarter. The natural sequence to the passing of Seddon. The glory is departing. — That a Hobsou-street fish shop is run by a gentleman answering to the name of Constandakis. Presumably, it all depends upon who does the kissing. — That General Manager Walklate, the new boss of the city tramways, intends to belie his name. No one will need to walk late when his managerial policy gets into full play. — That John Payne has been advertising in the daily papers for a safe investment for £20,000. In his policy of self-advertisement, John ought to begin by advertising for the £20,u00. — That John Fuller's latest waistcoat is a plum. A cold protector, John calls it. 'Twas understood until now that nature had provided a sufficient waistcoat to protect his fullest parts. — That several stout youths are wanted as recruits on H.M.s. Pioneer. What about Tom Allen ? He's not extra thin, and he's still useful. But the Northcote worms would miss him. — That a Yankee has managed to equip his horse with a set of false teeth. We are getting on. Some day we may be able even to equip politicians with consciences. It's just possible. — That W. J. Napier ought to move in the direction of a Ministerial residence in Auckland. Those visits are becoming significantly frequent now. Why not utilize Admiralty House for the purpose? 1 — That the telegraph clerks can't be so very much overworked, after all. Peter Virtue hasn't sent any wires for quite a long time. When he does start again, they'll probably have to work double shitts. — That the overhauling of Queen* Btreet back yards has led to disclosures that are making various dignified citizens wince, dome of them, too, holders of high office, who ought to have set a belter example. — That a Waiheathen gentleman, on the occasion of leaving the district, was presented with what is described as a "gentleman's companion." Is this the Waiheathen way of making a matrimonial announcement? — That an up-country Maori, when invited the other day to wet his whistle, pleaded as an excuse that a " presjyterian " order had been taken out against him. Didn't he really mean " anti-presbyfcerian ?" — That married gentlemen are re< quested to be careful not to whisper '• Septicaemia" too often in their sleep. It is a pretty feminine name, but is apt to entail much crossexamination from better halves. — That Surgeon-Major Carolan has not now the same respect for the " official " perception of the military authorities that possessed him before Easter. Red-tape is still as strong as before the Defence Council days. — That Sir Robert Stout, just back from a sick-bed, withered with a glance an Auckland joker who ventured to suggest that he is not quite so stout as he was. No pleasantries must be risked over the judicial figure. — That the Herald's linotype operators trembled when they were setting Malcolm Ross's article on his Ngauruhoe exploits, lest the supply of capital " I's "in their magazines should give out. It was a very near thing sometimes. — That Thomas Gresham objects to the meetings of the Sailors' Home Council commencing and ending with prayer. Thomas doesn't want any praying for. Isn't it about time that Bishop Neligan rejoined the Council, and crushed the doubting Thomas ?