THE FRETFUL PORCUPINE

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 36, 25 May 1907, Page 16

THE FRETFUL PORCUPINE

THE authorities of the Health Department cannot be congratulated upon either the tact or the humanity with which they have treated the victims of the plague outbreak. The manner in which the unfortunate girl Norma McMillan was carried off to the hospital was nothing short of scandalous. Miss McMillan became ill in a mild way on Saturday week, and after a day or two her family grew anxious as to her condition. Two or three doctors were rung up, and on Tuesday Dr Ferguson's attendance was secured. He examined the patient, looked grave, and said that he would like to have the advice of Health Officer Purdy.

After consultation, the two doctors pronounced the case to be one of " septicaemia," and decided that the patient would have to be taken to the hospital, and that the house must be placed under quarantine. So far, so good. The steps taken were unexceptionable. But in the grave circumstances it might have been supposed that due consideration would have been shown for the feelings of the •ufferer. Not so, however. Early next morning, an ambulance appeared at the door of Miss McMillan's home. There was neither nurse nor doctor with it, nor any attendant other than the driver. Nor, it would appear, had any intimation been sent to the family as to the hour at which it would arrive.

Up to this stage, the stricken girl had been comparatively bright and cheerful, had conversed freely, and taken light nourishment. On seeing the ambulance at the door, her spirits fell to zero. Clearly, she was frightened by the blunt ways of the authorities. She refused to go in the vehicle, and

her relatives naturally declined to let her go unattended. The ambulance was sent away, and shortly afterwards, the police took possession of the house, with strict instructions not to admit anyone or allow anyone to leave the premises. So matters stood until four o'clock in the afternoon, when the ambulance man returned, this time with written instructions from the Health Officer that Miss McMillan must be taken to the hospital.

Then a new complication arose. The policeman in charge — whose conduct, by the way, showed delicate regard for the feelings of the family throughout the unfortunate business — held that his instructions debarred anyone, the patient included, from leaving the house. Again the ambulance went away, but it soon returned, with authority from the police barracks to allow the Health officials to have their way. Just then an officer from the hospital put in on appearance. By this time, the poor girl was in a state of utter collapse from distraction. Her relatives could no longer resist, but they protested against allowing her to go in the ambulance alone. One of her sisters wished to ride with her as company, to which course the constable assented, but, co the relatives declare, th« driver objected, on the ground that be would be obliged to bring her back from the hospital, and this he was not disposed to do. And the hospital representative did not move one inch to support the relatives' sympathetic proposal.

Moreover, one of the McMillan family, noting their sister's condition of prostration, offered the hospital man some brandy to sustain her on the way. The official, however, waved it aside as unnecessary, the door of the ambulance was closed, and the unfortunate girl was driven away — alone with her anxiety and her sufferings. And mark the sequel. Her relatives never again saw her alive, and they aver that she died before reaching the hospital — died without any sympathetic friend to close her eyes — died utterly alone and unattended — at any rate, that when she got to the hospital the doctors there did not see any use in taking steps for her resuscitation. Comment upon so shocking a story would be superfluous.

He is a business individual well known in Queen-street by reason of his cultivated taste for pretty faces and his acknowledged weakness for the fair sex. Thia amiable characteristic has been the cause of a serious eruption in his domestic establishment. Some little time ago, he installed in the household a lady help who was fair to look upon, and immediately afterwards the wife of his bosom left on a holiday trip to Australia. The holiday period had expired, and she was about to return to the domestic hearth, when a letter arrived from her apouse advising her to stay where she was. The old home was not what it used to be. In other words, the lady help had been installed as mistress. Wherefore, there is trouble in the air. But the too amorous business man is indifferent. Connubial responsibilities sit lightly on his shoulders, and basking in the smiles of his new fascina : tion, he is more than content.

Some of the papers are telling about a man who appeared as witness in court the other day with a cap on, and who had not removed his hat for thirty years, except for a brief period occasionally at meal times, " because of his liability to quinsy." That hat must by this time have crot into a condition that should make it » desirable acquisition for a goupkitchen, if any existed in New Zealand now-a-days. There is said to » rush by southern tile-makers to offer its owner tenders for the immly of » new covering.

It would have been a pity if W. J. Napier's coruscatingly brilliant report upon the use of ferroconcrete in the harbours and docks of the world had been doomed to rest in oblivion In the pigeon-holes of the Auckland Harbour Board. But William Joseph himself, with becoming modesty, has seen to that. He has had the document printed in pamphlet form, and circulated amongst the local bodies and newspapers of the colony. Soon there will be deputations from southern harbour boards sent to Auckland to sit at the feet of the enthusiastic prophet of ferro-concrete. Engineer Bamer and Concrete - expert Robertson will have to take back Beats, unless they get out pamphlets on their own account.

Things were "anyhow" at the last meeting of the Hobson County Council at Aratapu. There is a pretty little trip to Wellington pending for someone at the council's expense, in connection with the coming conference of County Councils. One-half the councillors present apparently wished their chairman, Frank Dargaville, to be the delegate ; the other half, for some queer reason, wanted to go outaide the Council, and pitched upon the genial Tom Bassett. The Dargaville himself stood on his dignity, and declared that if he was not competent to represent the Council at the conference he was not good enough to be County Chairman. Still, when the to ting resulted in a tie, Mr Dargaville declined to appoint himself by his casting vote — for that matter, he didn't rote on the question at all — and so the matter had to stand over to the next meeting. What will happen then remains to be seen. At any rate, the chance of the outsider Tom Bassett making the little excursion leema now to be very small.

It would be interesting to know who is to bear the cost of the tremendous clearing-out of Queen-street backyards. So far, it appears to be a moot point. The work is being done by the City authorities under instructions from the Health Department, and the reckoning is "vet to come. Primarily, of course, th» scavenging taking place is in the interests of public nealth, and if the accumulations of rubbisn and filth had been unpreventable it would be ?uite proper that the expense should all upon the citizens as a whole. Seeing, however, that the noisome collection has resulted from tha carelessness or neglect of either property owners or tradesfolk, and mostly people of substance, it is unfair that the burden should rest upon the City Council or the State. If the City fathers have a spark of public spirit they will resist to the uttermost any attempt to saddle the ratepayers in the matter, and see that the persons really responsible for the nuisance are made to •houlder the cost of removing it.

Somebody signing himself "New Chum " writes to us asking what makes the gentlemen at the telegraph receiving counter bald. " Every oincle one of them," h« wails, "but the boy is afflicted with baldness." If he had said " every married one of them " we might hare been able to explain the horribl* mystery. Let us ponder for * minute. Telegraphy is done by electricity. From _ electricity cornea electrolysis, which is said to remor« superfluous hairs even from a confirmed bachelor .^ From > electrolysis comes electrolysitis — a disease which is generally much in evidence in the front row of the stalls at the Opera House. We should imagine that the single telegraph gentlemen are suffering from electrolvsitis. As for the married ones, well, there are twins and all sorts of lightning hair eradicators to attend to them. If we had to answer many question* similar to the one put by " N«w Chum," we should be bald too.

The average New Zealand boy is a football enthusiast. Higginson, of Whatawbata, is apparently an average New Zealand boy. Therpfore be is a football enthusiast. Unfortunately for Higginson, of Whatawhafca, his school teacher, being a lady, strongly objects to football — at least, she strongly objects to Higginson, of Whatawhata, playing football when he ongbt to be sitting down quietly to his dinner. When Higginson, of Whatawhata, plays football he perspires. This is not right. Higginson, of Whatawhata, has no right to perspire. Also, the enthusiastic Higginson leads the other boys astray after the elusive "leather." Wherefore the lady teacher has ielt it her duty to leather these other boys, and to write the Board of Education setting forth her complaint against the perspiring Higginson. Alas for the rarity of Christian chivalry under the sun ! Chairman Bagnall and his minions decided that the said lady teacher had no jurisdiction over the said perspiring Higginson oat of school hours. Therefore the said perspiring Higginson, of Whata* what*, may now and henceforth chase the elusive leather, if he 10 chooses, until he dissolves into a grease spot. What a — What a •hamel .... _■ . / '.. . ..-■ ■■_.. .. ■ ■..;-,..

If the Takapuna separation ease of Reeves v. Reeves had not been settled out of court, the details would have furnished some entertaining material for local gossip. No fewer than five prominent counsel were retained for the case, three representing the husband and two the wife. The allegation is that when the wife returned from a trip to England, she found no welcome awaiting her, but, on the contrary, another lady installed in her place. One of the conditions of the settlement is the payment of a substantial allowance to^ the aggrieved wife.

The Hon. R. McNab is carrying out the duties of Minister for Railways during the illness of the Hon. Mr Hall Jones. But is not the McNab sufficiently weighted with the Land Bill, without having further responsibilities given him? Happy thought! Why not give the portfolio of railways to the Hon. Samuel Vaile, with F. A. *s his private secretary? Verily, we would see some changes then.

Xiawyer Killen, of Whangarei, who •was Presbyterian minister to the town •until, and even after, he graduated to the bar, and until his congregation Tebelled against his practising two professions, does not retain much reverence for the cloth he has forsaken. The other day he got the present-day ineenister, Rev. Mr Soule, in the ■witness-box under cross-examination. And the fur began to fly. "Are you •an ordained minister of the Presby.'terian Church?" asked the lawyer, ■after some beating about the bush. •"I ana," replied the parson, with the "meekness of his kind. Then Killen rose in his anger and vehemently shouted "You lie!" When the sergeant of police interposed for theprotection of his witness, the ex-parson-rlawyer used some tall words about 'testing the minister's credibility, ;and his own superior knowledge of the ways of the Presbyterian church. "These the parson, his dander fairly riz, countered with the retort (that his tormentor had stayed iin the church till he was "kicked out." "What would have happened if the 'Bench had not applied the closure it is 'hard to say. The pagans in Court 'fairly chortled over the exhibition of 'brotherly love.

The decision of the Harbour Board not to give a grant towards the Shipwreck Relief Society has received scant ►ympathy in the South. .Auckland is the only centre which has refused to contribute, and yet the society haa. spent more money in Auckland than in any other province. But why should our Harbour Board worry about common shipwrecked sailors? They have plenty of other more important things to spend their money on. Powder hulks, and fire-floats, and Admiralty Houses, time- balls, and ferro-conerete wharves, are of much greater importance than mere tars in distress. By the time they have finished paying for these necessaiies, they can't afford to go in for luxuries like shipwrecked sailor*.

Francis Northern Luminary Mackenzie has a keen eye for feminine charms and accomplish men ts. Evidently, also, he inculcates the cultivation of similar tastes by his staff. At any rate, when the new matron of the Rawene hospital passed through Kawakawa the other day, a Luminary reporter waylaid her and put her through her facings, with the result that he was able to "speak in high terms of her pleasant and winsome manner." In view of such a certificate from such a source, the good people of Hokianpra will need no further assurance that they have secured a treasure.

It isn't often one bears of a frail woman diving into the water to rescue a mere man, but from the bank of a flooded Southern river last week a girl of eighteen risked her life to fishffrom the water a trousered person. It appears the two were " sparking" along the banks of the sludge channel when the male part of the " spark " lost its balanceand Bought thecool, sequestered shades of Mother Avon. Daphne di^ed instantaneously, and a moment later her lily-white hand was grasping the No. 16 collar of her best beau. Subsequently, pympathetic friends enquired anxiously of Daphne why she, a frail, beautiful girl, should have risked her life and her new tailor-made in a heroic endeavour to preserve her lover's life. Daphne showed the truest womanliness when, with the love-light shining in her wet eyea, she exclaimed : •' Well, Bill had me purse in his pocket !"

Talk about cut-throat competiition in the newspaper world I The rivalry between the two papers at Dargaville has been keen enough for Bom 3 time, but according to its own columns, M.H.R. Stallworthy's paper has brought matters to the climax of absurdity by securing the contract for County advertising at a penny per inch. Why not at once give the County Council an unreserved lease of the columns of the paper free,, gratis, and for nothing.

The opening of the hunting season revives a good story of the commencement of the sport in a certain district that shall be nameless. Two of the settlers had been enthusiastic hunters in the Old Country, and sighed over the lack of opportunity to follow the hounds in New Zealand. As one of them owned a few beagles, and the other a number of terriers, they decided to make these dogs these nucleus of a hunt club. Foxes and hares, of course, were lacking, and a drag was considered tame, and for a time the scheme hung fire, for want of something to chase. However, a happy thought occurred to one of the pack-owners: why not press into the service an old Thomas cat that was making itself a nuisance about his stable ?

No sooner suggested than agreed to. The day for the first meet was fixed, and the two enthusiasts turned out in the orthodox red coats and fall hunting outfit, attended by an admiring concourse of neighbours. Thomas was carried to the field in a bag, and, as soon as he was liberated, and the "Tally-ho" Bounded, the beagles and terriers made a rush upon him. But Thomas refused to play his part according to the rules of the game. Instead of taking to flight, he retired stratagically, with arched back and threatening claws, and for a time kept the pack at bay. When he saw an opportunity of taking to his heels, he made for the huntsman's horse, and, with a bound, seated himself upon its rump. The startled horse broke from its rider's control, took the bit in its teeth, and bolted for home, with the yelling pack of dogs in close attendance, and the rest of the hunters nowhere. When the enthusiast reached his Btables, Thomas was perched in safety on his shoulder, and he himself had been reduced by the adventure to

a state of demoralisation, lhat was the first and only meeting of the hunt club. The district had to wait till something quarry of better sporting instincts than Thomas cats was obtainable.

One of the many jokes of Vincent Pyke, Otsgo pioneer and journalist, father of R. A. Pyke, now of the Cambridge Independent, and probably the last real humourist to sit in the New Zealand Parliament, was told afresh in the South the other day. There was once a Scottish judge in Otago, and when the first Scotch thistle was found growing in the province someone sent ie to him, as a curio in which he would be interested. Vincent numbered the judge among his friends, and, happening around to his chambers on this particular day, found him sitting with the thistle in his hand, deep in a reverie upon its beauties. " Oh," exclaimed Pyke, with simulated surprise, " I beg your Honour's pardon — I didn't know that Your Honour was lunching." Then he made for the door, and dodged the flying thistle as he went.

The privileged persons who own fcho right, by vote of the New Zealand electors, to slake their thirst or obtain solid refreshments in the select club at Wellington known as Bellamy's, hug the fond belief that the establishment is named after a similar institution connected with the Mother of Parliaments at Westminster. This is quite a mistake. The name of Bellamy's is never heard now-a-days in connection with the British legislature. At one time it was. For two generations the Parliamentary kitchen was presided over by a John Bellamy, but the great fire at Westminster in 1834 altered things. Since then the culinary department has been ran by a Kitchen Committee, just as the Wellington one is controlled by the House Committee, and no one ever talks of it as Bellamy's. However, Bellamy's is the officially recognised name at Wellington, and probably no one will think, of proposing an alteration bo long as the whisky and the beer are kept up to the traditional standard. For, whatever there may be in the name, the conductors of Bellamy's do believe in having their liquors good. Ask Frank Lawry or Alfred Kidd, or even C. H. Poole or George Fowldi.