THINGS THE OBSERVEN WOULD LIKE To Know

Observer, Volume XXI, Issue 1195, 23 November 1901, Page 20

THINGS THE OBSERVEN WOULD LIKE To Know

—Who was the school teacher who gave his class a lesson on the "milCinery " of King Alfred ? —Whether you have ordered your Observer Christmas Annual yet? " Whimsical Auckland " will be a " boncer." —Whether the proposal to increase the capital of the Tairua Broken Hills is not an adroit move to water the stock ? —The lady who unconsciously sprinkled insect powder on some fish for her hubby's lunch instead of pepper? Also what hubby said. —Whether the Government will not have to build a plague hospital at Waihi if they do not grant the people that borough speedily ? —If it is true that the incidental expenses in connection with the St. Matthew's stone church have already run into £4000, or thereabouts ? —Who was the gentleman who explained that his clinging to a lamp post in Hobson-street the other night was due to seismic disturbance ? —If Australia is not finding it necessary to get her white pine timber from New Zealand still, notwithstanding that prohibitive tariff that was going to break things ? —Whether those relics of Robert Louis Stevenson, disposed of by auction locally this week, would not have brought much better prices if they had been sold in London. —If it is not wonderful what tteetness of foot a would-be mother-in-law generated in a would-be son-in-law in and about Vulcan Lane ? Betting ran high on the lady for a good place at the finish. —Whether the former owners of the Cheviot estate are not almighty glad at the present moment they sold to the Government ? With their money safe, earthquake risks need not trouble them. —Whether Mr Josiah Martin ought not to be very careful in saying that the importance to New Zealand of the Cook Islands has been exaggerated? This is high treason, with Premier Dick's imperial aspirations at fever heat. —If the story told to the local magistrate by the young woman who said she had been smoking opium in a Chinese den ought not to be followed up by the police notwithstanding any question of the woman's previous character. —Whether Miss Nellie Wilson has forgiven Pasha Percy for his impetuosity on Monday night in the desire to gather a kiss. It was an inartistic sprawl at the best that he caused the young i lady, to say nothing whatever of the shock to the poor chorus man who fell underneath. —Whether school holidays are not getting too frequent? It was bad enough to grant one last week, because the King's Birthday was in the previous week, but to close all the schools in order that several hundred children may attend the flower show, brings us pretty well to breaking point.

Auckland is at last to have that long-felt want —a Farmers' Co-opera-tive Supply Association. Arrangements have been made to take over the well-known business of W. ,). Hurst and Co., and the directorate being a capable and representative one, there is little doubt that the Association will be a boon to farmers and asuecess. The services of Mr A. H. Grainger have been retained as managing director, which is a further guarantee of success.

; ' Politeness should permeate the^sslei moral texture and aniniafe*'tKe: edu<fated film* of the üßgeatle-bojrßr if thia^^^i^/^evi^t-^e^dfl^^M^" A little girl who lives with her pa and ma not very remote froOi Ayojidale is a young lady of this description. She is steeped in etiquette and a martyr to politeness, and she says prayers. At her devotions very lately, this little mite of eight summers knelt in her night garment and received a sinaek from a wicked little brother of six. Pursuing the even tenor of her prayer, she said : " Please, God, excuse me a moment while I pinch Bertie." Politeness can't go further. ••• ••• ••• • . It is a very curious anomaly, of not infrequent occurrence, that a person often detects wit in others though absolutely devoid of any himself. A curious illustration occurred in a certain University quite recently. A very studious young fellow, either from impecuniosity, carelessness, or motives of economy, was not dressed as well as a certain professor thought desirable, and, having a liking for the studious young man, the professor made bold to privately speak of the matter. "In what manner, sir, am I not well dressed ?" asked the student. " For instance, your coat is rather short," was the answer, "Oh, it'll be long enough before I can get another," replied the witty young fellow. The professor, at once appreciating the witty sally, laughed, and shortly afterwards, when dining out, related the story, saying that he told a very deserving student of his that his coat was short, but be made the witty reply that "it would be a long time before he got another one," at which he doctor laughed heartily, while the, est of the company couldn't see thet joke. "Ah," said the learned man "it doesn't seem so funny now. I wonder why." So did they all.