They Say

Observer, Volume XXI, Issue 1162, 6 April 1901, Page 3

They Say

— That the Government trading stamps are not going off with celerity.

— That a recent Auckland wedding was that of a bride of 50— a widow — and a bridegroom of 22. Money in it ? Of couree not

— That it was amusing to see two well known ana" popular stewards somersaulting down the bank at the back of Segal's hotel in Franklin Road. The beeline waa too latitudinal

— That the Queen's funeral cost £35,000, and that that earn would have paid bounty to 18,000 sets of triplets.

— That if Councillor Farrell succeeda in his scheme of acquiring the whole of Freeman's Bay as a park, it ought to be worth a statue.

— That the management of the Auckland Public School Sports in the Domain last Friday waa not np to laat year's atandand.

— That Mount Rennieism is too painfully freqoent recently to warrant the oft-repeated statement that New Zealand is morally ahead of the Australian states.

— That Green Lane is frequently honoured by the presence of a fair horse* woman who tarns out ' a la cavalier,' breeches, top boots, and apnrß, and wherefore not?

— That the exhibition given by the Napier- street aobool oadetß in the bayonet and physical drill oompetltiona in the Domain last Saturday waa a revelation. Their instructors are deserving of great praUe for the way in which ;they have persevered with the boya. _ . •;

—That one ot the Commonwealth arches, whioh coat £1200 to erect, was sold the other day for .£25.

That it is time the Imperial Troop yarns were dying oat. Most of them are ' fakes.'

— That if the volunteers get hold of a part of Freeman'B Bay, it will be ' Soldiers in the Park,' eh T.

— That Manager Moss is in doubt abont the troth of the saying that ' a friend in need is a Friend indeed.'

— That not a lew Aucklanders are having their. photos taken in the regimentals of the Tommies who left themselves behind.

— That the Gaiety record night waß April Ist, on which date the ' takings ' were far ahead of anything hitherto approached by the company

— That a certain damsel from gay Paree, made a recent night hideous with her patois, &nd intended making hideoua the face of a lady rival, per medium of a bottle of vitriol which she openly carried.

— That we may confidently expect a plot in Bloemfontein soon as a result of Boer Burghers being put on the police of that town.

— That James, of bowling fame, scored eight wins in the championship matches, and not seven, as reported, and that he won the honours in the piay off.

— That a man who promulgates prohibition policy should go out of the wine and spirit business. A prominent Mayor combines the two, bat the wine pajs the best.

— That Auckland will possibly get a share in the Army contract for the supply of half-a-millioQ pairs of soldiers leggings, and that it mast turn out a better article than the one that went to Sooth Africa, to sucoessfnlly compete.

— That irregular soldiers, whose English employers kept billets open for them, did not allow for the contingency of woanda, and now decrepit Sooth Afrioan warriors ape getting sums up to five shillings a week from Poor Law Guardians. There is little use in a wounded patriot, and he is being made to Bee it. .^. J3S

—That in the bakery business— in the South, at any rate— the ' weigh of the transgressor ' is abont fourteen ounces to the pound

—That it is a perfect treat to watch the manner in which the Napierstreet school boys enter into their drilling competitions.

— That the man who discovered a Bnake on the Queen street wharf ia suffering from unclean beer pipes, and the reptile existed only in his imagination.

— That the North Shoreite, who in turning to apeak to a lady friend on the Ferry Boat stepped into the harbour, got wet, bat it is absolutely certain he got mad.

— That of the half dozen notorious villiana the Commonwealth released, one at least is in Auckland already. He ' works ' the shipping, and has one hazel and one blue eye.

— That while we are helping the old country in her ware we are somewhat weak as regarda oar home defences, and that Mr Ewington'a warning in this connection is timely.

— That a man up North, who advertised for ' tutor to teach three boys,' on the arrival of the new chum, required him to fill in hia spare time oat of school in the rearing of the family cabbage.

— That several Auckland society ladieß have gone or sent to Sydney for suitable apparel for the approaching royal visit. Rough on the local dressmaking and millinery establishments.

—That Charles Arnold, while in Auckland, waa a heavy plnnger in mining scrip. And now everyone ia hoping that the name of hia next play will not be < What Happened to Arnold.'

—That Lord Kitchener's latest compliment aa to the utility of New Zealand troops is sincere, aa that General does not say anything nice when he has a chance to say something stinging.

— That the bricklayers of Auckland are foolish to strike, aa they are only losing money and time, and that their position ie f ally equal to that of any other class of skilled artisans aa at present.

— That the paper report that ' no Australian soldiers surrendered to the Boers during tbe war ' ia moonahine, and that one street in Waterval prison compound was labelled ' Australia Avenne '

— That a fair divorcee has recently arrived in Auckland, preliminary to the supposed coming of the oo respondent, bnt that she finds herself a grass widow waiting the retnrn of Australia's Bixth Contingent.

— That the decision of the Conciliation Board to allow Mr Tonka to appear for the Grand Junction Company was not warranted if, as alleged, Mr Tanks is also solicitor for the Waihi Company.

— That the bricklayers are still wondering what Mr J J. Holland had to do with them and Joneß'a oontraot that he should have appeared there, declaring with such emphasis that they wouldn't get the increased wages.

— That our coming Royal visitors are hardly likely to see any of tbe proposed elaborate arches, and that the approaches to the city and the harboor snrronndinga should be made as attractive as possible.

— That the office boy and his cousin, the errand boy, are having their day, and employers, who, a short time since had mobs to choose from at their own prices, now have only stragglers, who insist on their own prices being paid.

— That a British column at Utrech destroyed all the farming implements of the Boers. As the enemy doesn't fight with ploughs, the utility doesn't appear, especially as Britain guarantees to recoup surrendered burghers for war loßses.

— That the next issue of Imperial and Commonwealth stamps will be quite unique. They will be the firßt Britißh stamps to bear a king's head. Stamps were used for the first time in 1841, so that all the British stamps to date have borne the late Qaeen Victoria's head.

— That the ' homble, oapable, hard-working women,' whom the Gape Argus recommend to be Bent to Africa for policemens' wives, are hardly the kind the police, 'who are mostly English gentle* men and farmers,' would owe about, and that the said constabulary will be the ' tonießt ' police force in the world.