"Pars" ABOUT PEOPLE

Observer, Volume XX, Issue 1121, 23 June 1900, Page 6

"Pars" ABOUT PEOPLE

Judge Edwaeds appears to be putting up a record for leniency, ana the Southern papers are throwing out pretty plain hints that His Honor's liberal use of the First Offenders Act is not panning out in the interests of justice. ' They point more especially to the recent criminal sessions at Cbristchurch, over which His Honor presided, as pn illustration of what they mean. At these sessions nine prisoners were convicted of forgery and uttering, ilarceny. of three bicycles, theft fiom a dwelling, breaking and entering and- larceny, attempted house breaking and possession of burglars' tools, forgery and uttering, false pretencea, stealing two horses. Each of these offenders was released on probation, in spite of the fact that other Judges have considered cases of the kind of too serious a nature to come within the scope of the Act.

One paper, the Palmerston Standard, is very severe. 'If that,' it says, 'ii a sample of Supreme Court jnstice, all we can Bay is that it is a travesty on the name, and the Judge who administers it deserves promotion to some other sphere where his method of carrying out his duties would not be so disastrous to thd well being of honest citizens. We have-.heard of erratic juries, but we will guarantee- that there is one J adge at any rate on the Sapreme Court Bench who can give them point?.'

The Hon. J. G. Ward : starts his railway redactions on Sunday next. Are the churches going to set apart a day of humiliation and prayer for the honorable Sawbeth- breaker ?

The chairman of the Metropolitan Board of Works, Melbourne, became bo enthusiastic about the relief of Mafeking that he gave a holiday to each cf its e mployees, and paid, out of hiH own pocket, the wages they would have earned but for fc he holiday. * The amount is said to have run into big figures, and reliefs .at the rate of one a week are what the Metrop. employees have since been praying for.

Me J.. J. Craig, it is stated, ia not taking advantage of the recent decision of Judge Martin, who. held that carters were excluded from the provisions of the Conciliation Act. He has ' conciliated ' on his own account, and, having satisfied himself that the demands of the men are fair, has resolved to concede them. Mr Craig is one of the largest employers of this branch of labour in Auckland, and the concession will be readily appreciated by the working classes generally.

Harry Brett,, son of the great ' Star,' had rather a ' fall in ' recently. Learning of the fine hauls made by different people around the North of that valuable exudation of the whale, called ambergis, he was one fine Sunday morning doing a conBtitutiocal along the Takapnna beach, and thanking his ' Btara 'that there was such a thing as a day of rest after six days' hard and laborious graft on a daily paper, when his eyes lit upon a black lamp of matter that seemed familiar to his eyes. He picked it up and examined it closely, Bmelt it — nearly tasted it. Joe Ansenne, a neighbour, had picked np a similar piece of goods, ever so much smaller, and had bagged seven ' quid.' Here was luck. Hugging it closely, he tracked the beach for hours, in the hope of picking up another patch ; but the whale had only left one card, and that was for Harry;

Oar literary friend could hardly contain himself until the next morning. After weighing and calculating, he foand that his lamp would come to at leaat a conple of hundred pounds. No sleep that night. The first 'bus to North Shore saw our friend Jn front, stroking a balky parcel. Jimmy, the driver, tried to fathom the contents, bat he could get nothing bat a mysterious smile and a good cigar. Arriving at Auckland, Harry made tracks for Charley Ratjen's well-known drug store, and waited. Charley came at last, looking sleepy and tired after a late night at church, and with a strained voice f.om choir-singing, and, taking the parcel and looking hard at the contents, asked what it was for. ' For ?' said Harry ; • that's ambergiß.' . ' Ambergis be blowed ; it's fish— decayed fish.' Then Harry fled, but he and Ernie Abbott have now formed a partnership, and may be seen any morning after a blow, searching the beach after sunrise Tor a rise in ambtrgis. Oh, for a sick whale..

Mr Justice Martin is going to be the busiest Judge in the colony, if the namber of cases that are daily sent np to the Arbitration Court may be taken as a gauge.

By a strange coincidence, about the same time that Dr. Alice Woodward was in charge of the supposed plague! patient in Auckland, Dr. Jane Kinder (another New Zealand lady) had in hand the first case in Adelaide.

The attempt of the Birkdale School Committee, or a section of it, to oußt Miss Bowen from her position of head teacher, is meeting with with the opposition that everyone expected. Why they should recommend her" removal is a paradox. Her record is an excellent one— one of the best in Auckland— her attainments are high, and the school has invariably bad good results. More, than this, she ha 3 gone out of her way to impart instruction at night to wany of the youths of the district whose work on the farms prevented their attendance in day-time, and small thanks she got for it. There ,ia no pleasing some people, and this seems, to have been Miss Bowen's experience in Birkdale. The present is not the first attempt that haß been made to remove her, and it is to the credit of the residents that they are standing by her and eeeing.that she is not unduly dealt with.

William Frater, whose smiling, countenance and pointed beard still hovers aroand the reekiDg embers of the Auckland Clan, had a bitter experience the other day, and can now appreciate and understand the

many pictures of Krnger rnnning before & ball dog. Having occasion to value a property still tenanted, he viaited the premises, and, after doing the nsnal valuer's tarn, made tracks for the front gate, whiatliDg gaily ' Soldiers of the Qaeen.' The Bibilant sound awakened the family bull dog, who speedily resented the intrusion of a Boer on his domain. William Fr&ter started to measure off the distance from the kennel to the gate, bo did the dog. The dog won, and took his prize in the shape of a new troaaer seat, and then retired from the contest. The beaten valuer, for reasons of his own, planlj. d hia

back end against the fence, and waited for a man with an overcoat and Btudied his position. ■ [Profit and Loss ] Cr. . £ a d Valaer'B fee . .. .. 1.1 0 Commißßion .. ..068 17 8 Dr. £ b d One pair new tronsere 1 10 0 Mr W. C. Buchanan, ex-M.H.E. for Wairarapa, is going the way that many a good man has gone before him, and will shortly be married to a lady of Victoria. The local paper, in noticing the fact, heads the note with ' At Last,' from which we infer that the Benedict-elect has been slow in making np hi 3 mind. Baden-Powell, although a young man, is said to be as bald as a tnrnip, which ia probably why he ib never ' pictured ' without his hat. A rhymater in Punch (Melbonrne) dashes off the following on the « head ' of it : — The Boer that once made war od Bull Fell in the soap and got a scald. He thought he'd Powell by the wool, And found the Colonel's nut was bald. 1 A member of Parliament in New Zealand nowadays,* Baid George Fisher, M.H.R , at a recent gathering in Wellington, ' is required to have, in addition to an intellect of high order, the physical strength of a bricklayer's hodman.' George might have added, and a good whack of jaw. ~ The war has brought about the evolution of one name at least. Before the trouble began it was ' Oom Paul,' when war was proclaimed it waß ' Kruger,' and now ' Old Kroo ' seems good enough. .And when peace is restored, and he is on tour with his millions, it will be ' Oom Paul ' again. So like the world. Mr Charles La Roche writes from Yokohama to a friend in Auckland, inter alia : 'We went to a Japanese theatre, but we only sat out two acta. The piece lasts twelve days, so it's impossible for me to Bee the finish of the play, or give you any idea of the plot. 1 Twelve days, eh ! We wonder how often would- the average Auoklander in that time go -out 'to. see a man with a dog ?' Charles may tell us on his return. We wish him a pleasant trip. . .

Fred Murray, Parnell's leather-kicking enthusiasts' pride, male and female, and who is daily, admired by the fair ones of that aristocratic suburb from behind the plate glass and coloured chemical bottles of his well-known drug store, has been always looked upon as a generous, openhearted . and free handed A ucklander, and a bale fellow well met. No one would ever dream of hia robbing a human being of the slightest atom of popularity or fame, even as a football referee. None but the basest ever lifted the finger of doubt and

pointed to Parnell's knight of fairness. But a bolt, worse than lyddite, has fallen on his host of admirers. The god hag fallen. It is not a human being that Fred, is robbing of his fame, bat a poor, harmless goat, cared for and tended by the kindhearted men-o'-warsmen and sons of the sea of HM S. Mohawk:* Many have seen the animal's horns and tail in the flesh, and can swear positively that F S. Murray, of Parnell, is assuming a title he does not bear by right. He may be ParneH'B, bat certainly not the Mohawk's, so that we ask him in common fairness to withdraw his claim mentioned in the following note published in the daily press ; — THE MOHAWK' S GOAT. , (To the Editor. Sir, — In yonr issues dated Friday, Bth, and Thursday, 14th, I notice two letters re ' The Mohawk's Goat.' Kindly tell me, wfaioh is the goat ?— I am, F. S. Mubray, Parnell. Masher Glark, who deserted Auckland's beauty walk for New Plymouth's park of female frc.hness, has astonished the quiet nativjj down there by appearing in a btaz n? red waistcoat. It, like the celeb ated collar, at least attracts great attention and came from Home on a walking model. Rudyard Kipling, in the coarse of a recent chat with ' Banjo Patterson,' the war correspondent of a Sydney daily, gave an effective slap to the discontents who are always crying oat for colonial independence. ' I can't understand there being ! so many Radicals in Australia,' he remarked ' What do they want ? If they were to become independent, what do they expect to do ? Will they fork oat the money for a Beet and a standing army ? They'd be a dead gift to Germany if they j didn't. What more do they want than what they've got ?' Harry Massey, the well-known commission agent, whose little deals have changed many a racing pony from one owner to another, has had the misfortune, through some cause or another, to lose his locks, every blade of hair leaving his body, until he was balder than a new-born babe. This necessitated Harry's wearing some kind of a covering for his hard and knotty ponum whem dining or in company, so he carried with htm a black- cap that looked when on his head like one of those fancy arrangements that Chinese mandarians wear when acting a3 ambassadors, as we see them in pictures. Having occasion to visit Te Aroha while a racing carnival was on and the hotels were crowded, oar ' hairless wonder ' daring lanoh hoar made tracks for the table, and found every seat filled, bar one solitary chair alongside that beaming heap of celestial happiness, Jimmy Ah Kew. Harry took it, and, after scanning the bill of fare, waited. Very Boon the bustling, busy and overworked waitress came around, and, after getting Jimmy Ah Kew's order, had one look at Harry's hard, hairlesa face, with its beady, black eyes, and then at the arrangement on his head, and along the back of his bended neck ; hesitated a moment, and then, bending down to Jimmy, asked in an awestruck whisper, that could be heard all around the table, ' What will your father take V Harry heard, and left the table. The honour was too great, and kept him confined to his room for several hoars. ' -

Sir Robert Stout's deoision that a men who can ask for liquor is not drunk in the eyes of the law is eclipsed by that of an English Judge, who recently gave it in verse, thus :

' He is not drunk who from the floor Can rise and drink, and ask for more ; Bat drunk is he who prostrate lies Without the strength to drink or rise.' Or, to boil it down, paralytic drank.

Captain pro tern. Iredale is said to [be causing many a bitter tear of jealousy to fall from the eyes of our city drapers. Fancy what a pull the captain will have over them in his cavalry regimentals.

A neat joke against himßelf ia toid by the Chief Judge in Equity of New Sonth Wales, Mr Jnetice Simpson. It appears His Honor was at his mountain home at Blackbeath. Cows came in and grazed down the garden flowers. The angry judge went to the nearest police station, in the nest township, and made his complaint to the large Irish constable, who knew him not. 'You ought to impound each nuisances,' concluded the judge ; ' why don't you impound them ?' ' Me little mabn,' said the constable, lay* ingasoo.hing hind on the judge's shoulder, 'if ye knew as much law a 9 me,' he gave the shoulder a firm pressure, ' you'd know that we can't impound anything outside of a municipal district, and you are outside each a district.' The constable was right.

It is all tommy-rot to say that a man in a free conntry can be a proanything At a meeting of Invercargill'a Borongh Council the other night, it was stated that a casual hand employed by the Corporation had been giving voice to pro-Boer sentiments. A councillor suggested the sack ; a chorna of ' hear, hears, 1 followed, and the Mayor said he concurred, and woeld give immediate effect; to the wish.

Mr Hee Hem Smith, the member for New Plymouth, is still going strong on the iroaaand question, and misses no chance of giving it a lift. Speaking recently at New Plymouth on the occasion of the Mafeking jubilations, he expressed the pions hope that in presenting General Baden-Powell with a sword of honour, as mentioned in the Press telegram?, the weapon would be made of steel manufactured from the Taranaki ironaand — material which, in his opinion, would be most fitting in view of the gallant assistance rendered by New Zealand. Strangely enough, E. M. didn't break into original verse on this occasion. Ha was usually seized with the pangs of poetic inspiration when he orated in the Ouee, and in one of hid biggest efforts he peroiated after this impreßeive style (all his own): —

' Hoist the Liberal banner high, Oa to victory grand ; All the Opposition crew defy, And vote for me on ihe ironsand question.'