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Observer, Volume XVI, Issue 950, 13 March 1897, Page 18

The Minister for Lands wishes some matron would undertake to find a wife for the member for Wairarapa, and then he would be able to afford even more time during the session in the interests of the electorate. Does the Hon. John mean to insinuate that Mr Buchanan has his hands full daring the session in seeking a wife. If so, he has only to let the fair sex know that he is out on a matrimonial campaign and there will be a host of dowagers on the war-path. Mr Buchanan's heart and broad acres won't remain long unappropriated if the ladies only get to know he is ready to pop the question.

An officer on board one of the Sydney steamers was placed on the horns of a dilemma the other day. He had brought over 13lba of luscious grapes with which to regale his lady friends, but found at the last moment that the Customs people would not allow them to be landed, as they were prohibited goods. He helplessly asked, 'What am I to do with them?' 4 Drop them over the side,' grimly suggested the unsympathising official. ' Confound it,' remarked the son of Neptune, 4 it's a pity to waste them like that. Will you let me bring some of my friends on board to help me eat them ? ' The Customs official knew nothing in the regulations to prevent it, and the officer hurriedly beat up half-a-dozen or so of his male acquaintances, who promptly swarmed on board and polished off those grapes in remarkably fast time. But the salt has definitely retired now from the private importing line. There's nothing in it.