They Say

Observer, Volume XVI, Issue 948, 27 February 1897, Page 3

They Say

— That scrip is the greatest of all drags in Auckland just now. —That Albert Sanford expects to be a millionaire if the Government leases those oyster beds. — That the latest sensation up North is Mr Kaikohe Patterson's phonograph. It's chock fall of gossip. — That Oliver Mays intends to establish an opposition borough at Devonport. We thought it would come to this. — That girls are more courageous than men. They are ready to make a match with a fellow twice their size. — That the formation of an Amazon volunteer corps is a probable result of the excellent shooting by the ladies at the Bifle Association meeting. How would the zouave costume do ?

—That some important changes in high places in the police force are pending. —That Mr Napier will be a live chairman oLthe Harbour Board — not too Jive, we hope, —That there would not be ,so many long" sermons if men. were obliged to practise what they preach. —That Hazard, sen., of Auckland, and Acheson, of Invercargill, were the oldest ' shots ' at the recent prize firing. And there are no flies on them either. — That the daily prayer meeting for business men in the National Association rooms was designed to catch the sharebrokers, but only one turned up. Who was he ? — That the Hon. Thomas Thompson is intent upon a resuscitation of interest in volunteering, and meditates changes that will increase the popularity of the force. —That « Possible' Wilson of Woodville, who made much tall scoring in the earlier matches of the rifle tournament, is one of the survivors of the Poverty Bay Massacre, and that, although a lad on that occasion, he saved the life of his mother. —That inquiries are being made for the celebrity in the Opera House dresscircle on Saturday night who dropped his walking-stick on the cranium of a baldheaded man in the stalls ? The baldheaded man is anxious to make his acquaintance.

— -That only about one in a thousand married couples live to celebrate their golden wedding. Some of them don't want to. — That the suburban school teacher who called his creditors together last week has undertaken to pay them in full. He promises to set apart £4 per week ont of his £6 10s salary for this purpose. — That the Star artist who fixes up the cablegrams never heard of the Mussulmans. That is why he converted them into Mußselmen. In matters relating to shellfish he felt on firm ground. — That the Herald contributor who has fastened a stigma upon the Great Barrieriteß by writing of their ' music and singing,' very likely did the singing himself while the islanders furnished the music. — That the Hospital Board are hankering after some more stolen kisses. Otherwise, what means the shifting of the Hospital piano to the board-room. And on the undertaker's motion, too. Oh I Jamieson, what frivolity in a grave man. — That Chawles Chambers and his Comic Opero Co. want the public to distinctly understand that their object is en- j tirely in • the interest and furtherance of musical culture.' The members of the company are to be the recipients of its benefits. But the public understood all that right enough. — That somebody in authority has blundered in not sending the Government cruiser Tutanekei to Crete. How would this cable read in Europe, by the way : 'Premier Seddon is very angry and has ordered the warship Hinemoato co-operate with the navies of the other powers .' That ought to placate the incensed Kaiser.

—That the Hospital Board are yearning for some mote recreation. — That dam it as much asyouplease, water always does its 'level best. . — That working men can be got for 48 or 5s per day in Karangahake. — That it is necessary to wear a Kharkee costume in order to be a mining expert. . . — That it is • doosid hard ' for a lazy man to be truthful; he is happiest when lying. . — That the Government has got a lien on the Wellington Suburbs seat. — That several of our lawyers are learning the bicycle in order to ran down possible clients. — That Father Gregory is leaving for Belgium to re-enter a monastery there. — That Harry Doughty has never been so doughty a warrior as when he carried off the Champion Belt in '92. — That Auckland, with one-third of the competitors, made a poor show at the Rifle Association meeting. — That the up-to-date slang for inviting a friend to have a drink is to ask, * Will you have a hair restorer ?' — That for the future quarterly subscribers to the lending branch of the Free Public Library will require a guarantor. Is the benefit commensurate with with the trouble ? — ffhat it is safer to pull the tail of a tiger than to draw a lady's attention to the appearance of her first grey hair. — That they are beginning to mix their ginger-beer at the Star office. The immediate result is, that one of the young men has Been a blue moon and wants the fact to be generally known. Snakes usually form the next stage. — That there are not many men who can handle a hot lamp-chimney and say there is no place like home at the same time. —That it will soon be necessary for the University College Council to offer a bonus to induce young people to attend University lectures. — That with the aid of the X rays the rural postmistress will find the sealed mail eveu more entertaining than the postal cards. — That it was the Star who discovered the Professor Aldis that taught Mr Bond to paint pictures. But who is he? Surely not William Steadman of that ilk ? — That two jaipays, two policemen, and a ' cardinal ' were conspicuous figures in a certain local hotel on Saturday night after prohibited hours. — That Gardner, who was one of the reps, of the • A ' Battery, at the shooting last week, is a recent acquisition from Dunedin, and is confidential clerk at the B.N.Z. — That what with one smash and another, Invercargill is just now in a pretty bad way. And chiefly on account of those oats that weren't there. — That in verse he used to tell his love And write her pretty sonnets, And now instead he writes her cheques To pay for pretty bonnets. — That a beautiful example of the force of habit is to see a teetotaller fill a cup at a drinking fountain, and dreamily blow the froth off the innocent water before drinking. — That preparations are now being made to strike a water rate in Tapanui to make up for loss of revenue from hotel licenses. Water is now to bear the burden hitherto borne by whisky. — That the sfcory told by the Herald about the s.s. ELia-Ora being stuck two days in the Ohinemuri river, with all the other sensational details, was a highlyimaginative romance, remarkable chiefly for its utter want of truth. — That house rent is still on the rise in Auckland . A Ponsonby resident was impressed with the fact at breakfast the other morning, by a polite little missive from his landlady couched in these terms: ' Dear Sir — City rents have riz. I must make a little rice for myself, so your rent will be 15/- a week, from Monday next.' . — That the feelings of Sergeant Boyle of the Defence Works at Devonport were at the boiling point when he received news of removal to Wellington a fortnight after his new house had been built. That investment was a bit of a boil-over, seeing that both house and allotment are now to be auctioned.