They Say

Observer, Volume XVI, Issue 922, 12 September 1896, Page 3

They Say

— That we in Auckland talk football. Down South, they play it. — That J. Bullion is the latest name for his capitalistic excellence John Bull. —That beer and soda--water are going to contest the vacancy for the East Ward in the City Council. — That a highly-paid head-teacher in one of our city schools peddles books and school stationery amongst his pupils, to the injury of struggling retailers.

£5- — That the Southern shopkeepers are rebelling against being levied on continually for contributions to bazaars, etc. There'll be a revolt in Auckland too, we guess. — That the late Julian Thomas ('The Vagabond') whose death has just been reported by cable, was one of the first to call attention to French and German aggression in the South Pacific. — That a native policeman who gave evidence in the Auckland Supreme Court the other day has reduced the detection of crime to a science. He identified a stolen handkerchief by the perfume. - That the proposed football match between the Auckland representative footballers and Panmure will not come off till next year. The Panmure boyß are mercifully disposed to give our ' repa ' twelve months in which to train.

— That Auckland has yet -to learn how to take a beating well. — That there are already scores of applications for the Harbour Board vacant billets. — That George Fowlds is dying for someone to nominate him for the City Council. —That the Queensland footballers must have been a poor crowd when even Auckland beat them. — That last Monday was the birth anniversary of the veteran actor Grattan Riggs, who is now in Auckland. — That dead human bodies are now being embalmed with much success by Undertaker Little, of Auckland. — That the throwing open of the City parks is largely appreciated by the Auckland lover and his fair adored one. — That ten per cent, accrues very shortly upon all city rates due and unpaid. The wise will save this two shillings in the pound. — That the ' lady-help ' is not in eluded in the Bill which is to give the New Zealand domestic dish-smasher a weekly half-holiday. — That Nature makes few mistakes ; but somehow it seems as if the herring might have been built with fewer bonts. — That Premier Seddon is going to put a stopper on lawyers' extortionate bills of costs against Maoris in connection with their lands. — That the behaviour of the small boys and larrikins towards the referee in the Auckland v. Otago football match was scandalous. — That Harbour Board Traffic Manager Burgess is getting a gorgeous red and bine uniform made for his wharf perambulations. — That Magistrate Northcroft would very much like to have J. M. Shera before him on a charge of inciting a ' drunk ' to rise up and smash a constable. —That Magistrate Northcroft .is grieved because we have not a Siberia to which we could send our larrikins. What is wrong with Mount Eden? — That when the present dominant party in the Harbour Board have had their fling, they will have created billets enough to mop up all the unemployed in Auckland. — That the drink bill in New Zealand in 1569 was £10 10s per head of the population ; it is now £3 03 sd. We appear to be getting almost as sober as the Prohibitionists themselves. —That on the basis of half a grain of gold to the ton, it is estimated that there are 75,000,000 tons of gold in the oceans of the globe. Here's a chance for some of our syndicate-promoters ! — That it was a moot point the other day Whether the vacancy in the City Council caused by the death of Councillor Grey would be filled by a contractor or a publican. The doubt is solved. It is to be a publican. — That the question of giving away our tramway rights for forty years to the Parrish syndicate will probably be referred to the ratepayers for their decision. Surely this vast public estate will not be given away. — That Colonel Goring, besides having two servants at the public expense, gets a squad of artillerymen frequently to attend to his gardens and grounds. Valuable and ' cheap ' military aervices these for the North Shore batteries. — That it is proposed to hold French conversation classes at the Auckland University College, and that the local lon ton are all going to learn how to say 1 Pasß the salt,' or ' Where have you put my uncle's sister's old boots ?' in French. — That ' These here young wretches, yer Anner,' was the delicate way in which Sergeant Gamble publicly referred to five Bmall Star boys who were hauled up before Mr Northcroft at the Police Court, the other day, for playing football in the street. —That the adorable Trilby received an offer of marriage from a susceptible young local goldfields prospector who has made money. The proposal was hidden in a basket of flowers which the quartzopolis Johnny got handed up to the lady from the front of the house. —That Mr Macintosh, the member for Wallace, who has just astonished members by his re-appearance in Wellington, was Bent away to his home in Southland a few weeks ago in charge of a messenger. The temptations of Bellamy's have been proving too strong for the old gentleman. Strangely enough, the other legislators insist upon calling Macintosh's weakness ' ill