They Meant Well.

Observer, Volume XV, Issue 833, 15 December 1894, Page 2

They Meant Well.

Some six weeks since, the various city school committees of Wellington foregathered and pat together the machinery of a School Committees Association, to comprehend both town and country. Last week, the first general meeting was held • It was deliciously funny. The chairman was a Treasury official — you can't swing a cat in the Empire City without banging a civil servant over the head — and the secretary was an engineer. Between them they soon engineered the meeting into difficulties. More than thirty delegates were present. The affair started with the production of a formidable agenda paper, containing enough subjects to keep the common or garden - variety of conference ' going for three weeks. The chairman, who had at his elbow an auctioneer's bell, cut the first hand by intimating that a strict time limit would be observed — five minutes for each speaker.

Then, he took a deal by introducing in a ten. minutes' speech a motion of his own, claiming for school committees the right of selection before teachers' appointments were made and virtually putting the Boards under the table. A brisk discussion, lasting three-quarters of an hour, followed. Then a little man from Kilbirnie sailed in with a miscellaneous assortment of Labour phrases with which he stretched out — w^ll, not quite so many opponents as did Samson with the jawbone of the ass. Modus vivendi completely floored a delegate from Mount Victoria or some such important centre, " Imjjenum in imperio ' evoked from the engineering secretary this mild remonstrance that cuss words were hardly parliamentary. Finally, he proposed an amendment, and the mention of ultra vires clinched his argument.

After this, the delegates unanimously claimed the right of a second five minutes' speech on the amendment. Another half-an-hour in talk. Then a perspiring delegate just suffering a recovery from Kilbirnie Latin found out that the minutes had not been confirmed. Half-an-hour's animated discussion ending with the confirmation of the minutes. Another halfhour in speeches of contradiction to statements made in debate. At this stage a further discovery : officers had to be elected. Half-an-hour in speeches of suggestion how to set about it, and half-an-hour more in taking the ballot. Then, disgust from the country delegates because tuey had been, with one exception, left out of it. More disgust when a levy of 3/ a head was made to defray expenses incurred. Finale : Premature burial of ' addenda ' paper, as a Latin-stricken delegate termed it, and hurried adjournment as gas-lights were going out. Profane expressions from country delegates, as they steered for the nearest pub. It is a pretty safe prediction that the Wellington Schools' Committee Association wilJ now be stretched upon a bed of sickness. Look out for the funeral.

Lawyer Jellicoe, of Wellington, appears to be having a good time on the Oontinong. He proposes to return to the Empire City in .February. What a welcome he will have! In the words of the popular song, ' they love him so !' Mr Cotterill's appointment to the management of the Onehunga branch of the National Bank is an excellent one. Mr Cotterill is a most capable officer, and at the same time he is one with whom the clients of the bank will always find pleasure in doing business. Dr O'Callaghan, a Thames parson, in the course of a recent sermon, characterised Prohibitionists as selfish, narrowminded and unchristian, with a strong leaning towards hypocrisy, and hypocrisy, declared the parson, is the greatest evil of the age, not even excepting drink. A. W. Hogg, M.H.R., has been ' socialled ' at Masterton and presented with an illuminated address, and a bag containing 56 soys. A.W.H. said it was the proudest moment of his life, and smiled like a seraph. He is to get a supplementary purse, at an early date. Lucky Hogg! The Mastertonians evidently believe in going the entire animal. Mrs Mary Grace Bellamy, of Tapanui, is ambitious to follow in the fairy footsteps of Ma Yates. In other words Mrs Bellamy wants to be mayor of Tapanui. The local paper throws cold water on Mrs .Bellamy's aspirations and opines that 'it would be little less than a crime to place her at the head of municipal affairs in the Borough of Tapanxii.'

Annie Maria Doby has been gazetted an official visitor to the Auckland gaol, or at least so the telegraphic news tells us. But who on earth is the lady ? Has anyone ever heard of her before ? Does she possess any qualifications for the position ? And why have Mrs Yates and -Mary Steadman Aldis been overlooked ? Commissioner Lucy Booth, youngest daughter of the General, is about to be married to ' Colonel ' Hellberg, a Swedish Army officer. Miss Lucy was ' engaged ' once before to a city man, in London, but a few days before the wedding was to have eventuated the match was broken off. The young Earl of Yarmouth — he .is only 23 — has been delighting the Hobart people with his ' skirt dancing ' and ' female impersonations.' His Earlship's dresse? (very decollete and extremely stylish) we re greatly _' admired. He is said to have a passion for the stage — inherited probably trom his august ma, who if we mistake .not was a well-known member of the profesh when she married the young Earl's father. Mr J. B. Stoney, for many years clerk at the Resident Magistrate's Court in Auckland, has been removed to Blenheim. This is something of an Irishman's rise. One of the local papers fears that Mr Stoney will be greatly missed, and that his departure will occasion considerable grief in the community. The grief will not be by any means amongst those who have been accustomed to do business at the Court. In fact, it is quite possible that the considerable grief may De confined to the reporter himself. Mr Stoney will get no purse of sovereigns.

.Walter Behtley lectured on Friday night; on\' Oar ßest ziFriends? '■ Wesuppose those ate the friends who refrain just now from dtmninghim. ' V ■}- .-?.„■ ..... '/rM ■Mrs: Collis; who catne' to Auckland with Miss May Yates, .ighpiii%he'- accompanied to this city from ;^ew PlymouthV re- ;- turned to the latter city oii. Monday. Mrs Collis is a vegetarian-^nd' an accomplished masseuse. She is bright and intelligent, and has done much to help forward the cause of Food Reform.John Charles Dawson, formerly of Blenheim, has just been sentenced at Christchurch to three years' imprisonment.- The Blenheim paper says : 'It appears Dawson's nine months sp_ent as a ' commission agent ' in this town 7 was the longest period ne had had out of gaol for 20 years.' / E. D. Hoben, elated by his great success as a lecturer, treated the Wellington vegetarians to a short speech at the banquet held last week. He told them that at one time he had existed for some time on a diet of peaches .and oatmeal, and never expects to feel so well again. Amongst other things he mentioned the fact that the necessity for flesh food for athletes whilst training was' an exploded tradition. H'm? Parson YorKe, incumbent of St. Matthew's Anglican church, Masterton, was invited to a Wesleyan muffin-worry the other day and declined the invitation 'on principle.' "We trust St Peter or some- ; body will see that Heaven is divided off into pens or something so that no friction may arise in the sweet by-and-bye, when we meet on the beautiful shore, owing to the objection of one brand of Christians to fraternise with another 'on principle.' The Italian boy, Taboocia, one of those saved from the wreck, of the. Wairarapa, pdrceeded from Auckland to Greymouth, en route fox, the, home of his uncle at Waimea. It was pretty rough crossing Greymouth bar, and Taboocia was observed to hastily pull off his boots, and tie such money as he had in a handkerchief, which he fastened about his knee. He wa3 preparing for contingencies. A burnt child, &c, A-c. - . , , '; Premier Seddon, has promised an Auckland deputation that if he. can see his way to fittingly recognise the work of -Sergeant Gamble and party at the Great Barrier, he will certainly do so. We trust he may see. his way. It is true, as Mr Seddon said, .that ether members of the force would have been quite as willing to go to the Barrier had- they been called upon, but that does not in the least alter the fact that the men who did go performed a most unpleasant, and a very dangerous duty, admirably. At the sartie time, as Mr Seddon says, the proper way to reward them is by extra pay. It would be unfair to promote them over the heads of equally capable officers, who are their seniors and who would have gone and worked at the Barrier very cheerfully if they had been asked. The suicide of Mr Eobt. G. Todd, late accountant of the Government Insurance Department at Wellington, produced a profound sensation in that City. The affair is to a certain extent enveloped in mystery. Todd was not in monetary difficulties ; his accounts at the office were right as right could be, and he was on the point of marrying a young lady in Victoria, and had obtained cave of absence, in order to go over to the other side to carry out his engagement. The only explanation is that Todd (whom a very little drink would strangely affect, and who it was shown at the inquest was assisted to bed the night before he killed himself) suicided while under the influence of stimulants, and while fighting against the ill-health from which he had been suffering for some weeks. Much sympathy is felt for the poor girl who was to have been united to Todd in a week' or two's time. Her last letter was found amongst deceased's effects. It expressed the hope that they would soon meet again. Mr Charles Fincham, of. New Plymouth, called upon us several weeks ago with his son, a boy of thirteen years. Mr Fincham had read in the Observer of several cases of bad squint removed by Dr. Wilkins, and his son being partially blind and having an aggravated squint in both eyes, he brought him up to Auckland to see if anything could be done for him. Before the operation, however, he brought the boy to us in order that we might see him, evidently intending to hold us responsible if anything went wrong. A day or two afterwards, Mr Fincham came back to us very delighted, the boy's eyes being quite straight. This week he has written to us from New Plymouth expressing gratitude to the doctor for what he considers to be a marvellous operation, and asking us to make his son's case known for the benefit of others similarly afflicted. Squint is a terrible disfigurement to young people of both sexes, and yet it can be removed by a skilful oculist by a very simple operation. During the last three or four years, Dr. Wilkins has operated in an immense number of cases, and with perfect success in every instance. •