'The Chamber of Horrors.'

Observer, Volume XIV, Issue 793, 10 March 1894, Page 3

'The Chamber of Horrors.'

I have been in the condemned cell. No, not the one at Mount Eden, bat that at Choral Hall, which building is just now given over to Art. The condemned cell' is also known as the Chamber of Horrors. It is a email room of oold and tomb-like appearance. Tomb-like ! That expresses it exactly ; is it not tbe tomb of buried hopes ? Here are to be seen the canvases \vhich ' the hanging committee ' have rejeoted. Two steps and you are in tbe main hall amidst the « accepted.' The • condemned ' are, to my thinking, amongst the most interesting of the exhibits. The daily paper reporters have ' passed them by on the other side.' They have confined their critical remarks exclusively to the • accepted.' They have, thanks to friendly hints from the eminent Smudge and the no less eminent Daub — the well-known local artists- -gone into the usual raptures over the immortal productions of Smudge and Daub, indulged in the usual jargon of the studios about ' breadth ' and • colour ' and • technique ' and ' chiaroscuro,' and all the rest of it ; they have damned with faint praise tbe efforts of those with whom Smudge and Daub and tbe other gentlemen who so kindly volunteer to ' coach ' the daily paper reporters on these interesting occasions don't know. But the 'Chamber of Horrors ' they have left severely alone.

Let us inspect these art treasures together. ' Dusky Sound, New Zealand.' Here we have bluey-greeny mountains e unrounding whitey- blue water. Overhead is a sickle-shaped new moon. Does the word sickle suggest sickly ? If so, I am sorry. ' Next please,! 1 as Partridge, the barber, says in • Sophia. 1 • Waterfall, Southern Alps.' The falling water is represented by splotches of pure white paint apparently thrown on to the canvas. Turner is the only man who indulged in splashy-splotchy effects such as this—

and got people to admire, yes, even to rave over them. But the experiment is not one that amateurs should attempt. • I'se Biggest ' (« from a very small print,') represents a wooden-faced child with waxen legs of impossible design standing by the side of a yellow dog big enough to despatch the wooden-faced child at a mouthful. The dog's most prominent leg is lemon-coloured while a large patoh on its ohestnut-hued back seems to suggest that it has been badly soalded. This •friend of man ' suggests the papier-maohe bow-wow of our youth, the intelligent animal which squeaked when you pinched the box on which it was glued. This gem is marked £12 12s. That's all.

* Dumbarton Bock ' shows poliahy green hills in the background, a hunk of something brown, which is presumably the rook, a sandy foreground with a oreek showing fearful and wonderful cattledrinking. The cattle are dapple-brown. One of them bears a striking resemblance to a partially emptied rubber bladder. The artist modestly withholds his name. • Alone ' is a curious study of cloud effeots. A huge bank of cloud is propped up on what look at the first glance like legs, but which on closer inspection prove to be rays of light Bhooting down into the pale grey sea beneath. On a sandy spit gazing at the cloud is a lone lorn female. She may well gaze. She is never likely to see anything like that again. Price £5 ss. ' Old Auckland, 50 years ago.' Here we have North Shore from Parnell beach. Eangitoto ' (looking sick unto death) rises, as per usual, in the background. The sandy beach in the foreground is covered with rocks and boats (one of them closely resembles a cut lemon with a stick in it). 'Apples.' Still-life study. The apples are chiefly of the hard green variety, beloved of the small boy, and whioh ought to be known as 'the dootors' friend.' Price 10s. The moneys worth it.

Senex, from life' is a portrait of an elderly gentleman. Thought at first it was intended for Bishop Cowie. 'Senex' ia bald, and has a mat-like white beard, and whiskers, also white, which Btart from the top of the head on either side. Physiologically ' Senex ' is worth studying. His left ear is on a level with his orown. No artist's name. No price. Priceless, poßsibly? 'Canterbury Plains.' Snowy ranges in the back-ground. Weird animalß of an extinct jspeoies grazing in the middle-distance. • A Jolly Old Tar ' (' from a small print ') represents weatherbeaten face wearing a painful grin. Wisps of white wool are attached to chin and the sides of the head. Such are the principal exhibits in the Chamber of Horrore to which sixpence extra ought to be charged, as is done at the famous waxworks in London. It is only fair to add that many of the pictures exhibited in the main hall, and which • passed ' the hangins; committee with flying colours, ought by rights to be in ' the Chamber.'