A Quill for Everyone.

Observer, Volume XI, Issue 780, 16 December 1893, Page 7

A Quill for Everyone.

It is said that the Hon. W. McCullongh went to sea last week in order that he might be able to wobble with greater facility. Auckland can once more boast of a diminutive policeman. The small boys are delighted. They like a 'bobby' somewhere near their own size that they can be chummy with. illustrated newspapers of Sydney are making very merry over the female franchise in New Zealand. They can afford to. They don't have to live in Onehunga. The candidate who received the highest number of votes at the general election was Sir George Grey. He and Mr Hogg, of Masterton, were the candidates who polled the highest majorities. There is a nest of rookeries in the centre of Albert-street that ought to be cleared out. Their drunken and dissolute occupants are a very bad moral example to the children growing up in the neighbourhood. They say it is quite settled that one of the largest boot factories in Auckland will be closed at Christmas. The management find it impossible to struggle on against the Union log. Cheaper to import boots from ' Sharmany.' An eminent physician says it is often dangerous to He on the right side. It is alse unnecessary. The editor of the Herald might be relieved to know that it is not dangerous to lie on the wrong side — especially at election times. This steamship opposition must be a pleasant thing for the Union Steamship Company. The return fare from Sydney by the ordinary steamers is .210, but by the special boat which runs against the Tasmania it is .£4 10s. When the people drop to this, seven out of every eight will ■wait for the special boat — or go by the Tasmania, which is cheaper still. The admirers of the Chinese tell us there is no opium smoking in New Zealand. And yet an almond-eyed Celestial at the Thames, Ah Foy by name, has just been fined .£IOO for smuggling opium. He would not or could not pay the substantial fine, and consequently he is employed just now giving Mr Reston and his staff an insight into the ' ways that are dark and the tricks that are vain— for which the heathen Chinee is ' pecooliar.' Small wonder that the editor o* Fair Play, a Wellington weekly, is about to stand his trial on a charge of libel. He is free with his opinions. Take this sentiment concerning Sir George Grey, for instance, which is more remarkable for its impudence than for anything else : ' A querulous conceited old gentleman, totally out of touch with the New Zealand polities of to-day, he is now merely an amiable nonentity, without the slightest influence. He lies superfluous on the political stage.' We have had female barbers in New Zealand, we are promised a female mayor, and now a further novelty has descended upon us in the form of a female doctor, whose delight it is to advertise herself by driving about in trencher and gown. The female doctor claims to be great on special diseases. Save us ! She hasn't taken to a golden chariot or anything of that kind yet. No doubt, she will have patients. There are always people with real or imaginary ailments who delight in medical novelties, and the sharp- featured woman in gown and trencher certainly is one. ' Mercutio,' in the Herald, gives it as his opinion that if a paper were published in heaven and edited by an angel for the Wesleyans on earth, a good many of them would be much displeased at what it said about them. There would, he sa> s. be a chorus of 'Stop my paper!' at once. But there is no chance of a New Zealand Methodist being issued there, says * Mercutio,' because it might not have subscribers enough. This is very sultry upon the "Wesleyans, who claim two of the proprietors of the Herald as pillars of their ohurch. At the same time, the Wesleyans will agree with us that the Herald need not talk. It would certainly die of inanition if it were in Heaven — or else it would be ruined by the enormous cost and difficulty of the transport of its first issue to its subscribers.

They have a girl down at Dallen's who is so very pretty that she, mashes the potatoes by smiling at them; •' """ . Thirteen candidates forfeited their .£lO in connection with the late election. Auckland electorates furnished three of the pigeons to be plucked by the Eeturning Officer. W. F. Buckland has been writing to the Herald to show that our present land tax and the single tax are one and the same I thing. This is a strong argument for the single tax. According to Dr Darwin and others, it takes a monkey thousands of years to make a man of himself, but there are some men in Auckland who can make monkeys of themselves in a minute. The prohibitionists are trying to get the Premier to agree to a summer session of Parliament. Just as if the people of the colony were not sick and tired of politics just now. Let us have a rest for a few months, at least. It looks as if Mr H. N". Abbott is redeeming his promise to raise the tone of the performances in the local places of amusement. The last tenant of the City Hall was > a cheap Jack, while burnt cork minstrels rule the roast at the Opera House. But in what respect are these shows more ' toney ' than Mr Fuller's popular concerts ? Auckland is not singular in its experience of greedy money-lenders. It was alleged in the course of some recent bankruptcy proceedings on the other aide that the bankrupt, five years ago, had borrowed £5 from a Sydney money-lender, and had paid £1 as interest for over four years, but had somehow lately got into arrears ! All told, he had paid the money-god over £80 and was still <£17 in his debt. Great Squeezer ! A young woman in the Masterton electorate, says the Wairarapa Star, had been induced by her friends to vote for Mr Harkness. Her lover, to whom she was engaged, was a strong supporter of Mr Hogg. They met at the polling booth. She persisted in her intention to vote for the Conservative man, whereupon the prospective husband remarked, ' Very well, vote for Harkness, and marry Harkness.' The engagement has since been declared off. The lady is very well rid of a husband like that. ' The enthusiasm of many temperance reformers in this colony has been damped during the last year or two by the fact that if there is one class of business more than another that is not paying its way it is the hotel business. Young Colonials are temperate almost without exception, and an astonishingly large proportion of them are total abstainers. Arid as it is in New Zealand so it appears to be in Australia. Last week, a writer in a Sydney paper put the case very plainly to the editor when he said : ' You remark that the bottom was being knocked out of the N.S.W. hotel industry. What about Melbourne, where many hotels two years ago were flourishing businesses don't get a living now, even rent free. Graham Berry's beer-and-spirit duties fairly ' bunged ' the Victorian hotelkeepers There is a very sultry story current which reflects strongly upon the parsimony of the Auckland Harbour Board in dispensing with the services of its engineer and dubbing the foreman of works " engineer." It will be remembered that the Melbourne Harbour Trust undertook to pay the cost of fitting up the Auckland dredger, in order that she might go to Me' bourne. The cost was estimated at .£I2OO. and .£I2OO the Melbourne people paid. Now it has leaked out that the cost was really .£2300, and if this report is true, then someone hae blundered, and that blunder has cost the Auckland Harbour Board «£llOO, or almost as much as the first year's rental of the dredge. But it is wretched economy after all that leaves an important trust like that of the Auckland harbour administration without the services of an engineer. The arrest of Edwin Howell on the charge of fraud in connection with the defunct Busy Bee is a trifle awkward for Edwin. He is charged with taking ,£3 for an advertisement from Host Smith, of the Imperial Hotel, when he well knew that the Busy Bee had ceased to hum and was defunct. But defunct or not, it had not ceased to gather honey, and hence all these tears. But, after all, is the man who tools the advertisement and then could not publish his paper to be blamed so much as the people who are ready to give their advertisements to every new venture that comes along— whether it has a circulation or not ? We hardly thing he is. People should be satisfied of the ability of the. newspaper man to give their advertise-, ments the due or required publicity before they pay for them. Of course, they often look to the printer of the paper, and it would not be a bad idea if the law made a printer liable for all broken contraota such as the one in question. Hon. W. McCuhough was the printer of the Busy Bee.

Shera says be has not done with the newspapers of Auckland yet. But it looks very much as if the newspapers had done with SKera. ' Ptofessor ' Carrollo has written to the daily papers to say that the pleasure boat which capsizod at his picnic was not supplied by him. But why need he bother ? Carrollo'a very best friend would never accuse him of so much liberality. Some lively money-lending disclosures in the Auckland Supreme Court this week. Just fancy £1 a day interest for a loan of .£l2O. And all done from motives of sympathy and Christian regard for the victim, too. Good old John Abbott. The latest thine in laconics is the message of congratulation forwarded the Premier on the night of election by some Salvationists down South, and the Premier's reply thereto. Quoth tho so'diers of blood and fire: 'Hallelujah,' and ' Amen ' answered the Premier. What a partiality the young girls of Auckland have for men-o'-war sailors. Night-time, they may- be seen in knots at every street corner giggling and chatting with their sailar friends, and it is quite common out in the shady lanes of the suburbs to meet the gallant tar with his arm around his lady love. Cause : careless and indifferent parents. Effect . increased responsibilities for the Charitable Aid Board by-and-bye. The laws of New Zealand are very strict against the printing and circulation of indecent literature, and yet the postoffice is just now being made use of for the distribution in large numbers of small violet-covered books containing vile pictures and letterpress matter of a diserraceful character. These books are addressed solely to women. The Northern Advertiser tells a story of four British gnmdiggers buying their provisions at a certain leased gumfield store, and then being refused permission to dig. Shortly afterwards, tweuty Austrian gamdi^gers came along and were given a ' start ' by the same storekeeper. And there is very much of this sort of thing going on. We shall come down yet to Chinese labour on the gumfields. The requisition that has been presented to Mr P. E Ban me asking him to stand for the representation of the East Ward in the City Council is one of the most influential we -have ever seen published in Auckland, and there is very little doubt that Mrßaume will go in unopposed. Apropos to his candidature, the opinion has been very generally expressed this week that it would he an excellent thing if the position of Town Clerk, when it comes to be filled again, were given to a young barrister an i solicitor who would enter the Council as Mr Baume is doing and learn the routine of the business as a member before he is called upon +o tafee over the duties permanently. Indeed, we make no breach of confidence when we say that Mr Baume's name has been discussed this week amongst a section of the City Council members as a gentleman who wouid succeed Mr Philips admirably, when a change comes to be made, and who would discharge the duties of 'the position with credit to the city as well as to himself. There has always been a strong feeling in Auckland that the Town Clerk should be a lawyer, and this would bean easy means to that end. We do not know whether the matter has been broached to Mr Baume, and possibly if it were it would not commend itself favourably to him. But at the same time the prospect of such an appointment should be an incentive to other young lawyers to take an interest in the affairs of the city. The time is approaching rapidly when this position will require to be filled in the way we have pointed out.