Advice to Young Men.

Observer, Volume xi, Issue 667, 10 October 1891, Page 15

Advice to Young Men.

Go home at a reasonable hour in the evening. Agree with the girl's father in politics and the mother in religion.

If you have a rival, keep an eye on him. If he is a widower, keep two eyes on him. Don't put too much sweet stuff on paper. If you do, you will hear it read in after years when your wife has some special purpose in inflicting upon you the severest punishment known to a married man.

Don't stay until a girl has to throw her whole soul into a yawn that she can't cover with both hands. A little thing like that might cause a coolness at the very beginning of the game.

If, on the occasion of your first call, the girl upon whom you have set your young affections looks like an iceberg and acts like a cold wave, take your leave early and stay away. Woman in her hour of freeze ia uncertain, coy, and hard to please.

In cold weather finish saying good-night in the house. Don't stretch it all the way to tne front gate, and thus lay xhe foundation for future asthma, bronchitis, neuralgia, and chronic catarrh to help you to worry the girl to death after she has married you.