BOXING DAY ADVENTURES

Observer, Volume 9, Issue 523, 29 December 1888, Page 9

BOXING DAY ADVENTURES

t. TRSfeOWj are you going, to spend Christmas ?' j^S: enquired Bobinson of his old friend, J^yßooiabv, They met in Queen-street oh

* Well, I don't know,' said Boosby. 'The usualttpng, I" suppose. Church, roast beef and plum, pudding, beer, mince pies, dessert, snapdragon, po"i>t, whisky punch, bed! and — — ' * A.healthy old nightmare V Qhipped in Bobinson. ' -•".'' IMy dear fellow, how can ; it be helped? One must". conform, to custom, you know.' 'Oh, hang custom! Well, if you must spend your, Christmas day like that, you will want a *;\?aZ holiday on Boxing Day to get the taste out of ypur mouth. 1 ' ' My, dear .hoy, I shall have to take the missus and..the.kids out— St.. Heliers, or North Shore (fori- a, strawberry gorge), or Bangitoto, or the North. Pole, or somewhere.' * Nonsense 1 you won't enjoy yourself a bit ! — neither will your people : at least, your presence will not, make any difference! Don't run away with that idea 1 I am going to give the missus the slip, myself— do the same, and we'll make a day of it 1' * I)on't I wish I could !' sighed Boosby, « but what could I tell the wife— what would you tell your wife ?' ' Leave that to me. Will you come ?' * Well ' ' Let's go in somewhere and have a beer. lam as dry as a volume~of "sefmdhs;' " And so they did.

Boxing Day ; morning. Bobinson and Boosby ea<jh : received a post-card^ purporting, to come from their respective employers, and peremptorily requesting them to attend at their offices on • urgent Jrasiijess,' They were awfully cut up. 'So horridly provoking,' ' Such a confounded nuisance,' etc., etc., etc. ' But,! as Bobinson told Mrs 8., who looked awfully sulky,- ' when duty. calls one' must obey.? He .added : 'I shall be thinking of you all day, dear, while I am at the office. ,Go and enjoy yourself j somewhere.' 4f.terhe had gone, Mrs ,B. told, her daughter ahd.^htr: nephew (who is a : YiM.C.A., young man) 'thafe. she :didn't believe, a word of. it— so - there/!?

#,-.- ■ . * - - ,#, • What shall we do?' asked the conspirators, as they .met . (by appointment) oh. the wharf. ' ' Whajb-dy'e, ; say. to, Waiwera'?' suggested Bobinson.u'. the. boat's 1 just, off.' j ' Thp (Very^ thing !' cried Boosby, ' let's go 1' And.-' so .they went, aboard, and five minutes later. were gaily.sfeaming.away.' There ,;are, heaps bf attractions about a trip to Waiwera. . There's fresh air, plenty of interesting people to study,. th^-steward's.' pantry, Where they retail. whisky and beerjWithout.worrying.you with questions as .tOiWhether.yqu are. a h'pn^fide traveller prj-not. 'There 'is also music. '.S6metiihes ; it isjnthe.shape.of a brass band;, sometimes it is a: solitary. musician, ..who play's the violin and sends : round the nat between every tune.. '' '

Afy. .'ph, -yes, i there- ii7 always .mu"sio,;and, strange tVsayytfi'e musician's "rarely meet with^ah un-timely-:fafe7 at r ffi^ of the excursionists. t Tfiisiis \%s e&thej^jjiv thp,vexcursioni|t§, oapv and |I*efle6tß.:flwdifc'4^hpm.L- i i^ . Ay. >.~ _ ' j\- ': '..:.•. : * ":•

Some budding Toole or Irving is sure to be amonjgqjta the> passengers, eager to disti^gupk? 'hinqisel^ by-giving a .recitation.' .. ' _'"~" ?/]- The.^agic.; main generally g4eS. inf f6i£ suclt blood-^jß^dlers as ' ' Eugene Aramjs; Jpr§a|n,^foCi* ,' 'of the Light Brigade,' and%ftsps- \ clutches his hair, turns i^ his eye- balls, and gurgles hoarsely, all in their proper places. The comic manj: who. is generally smoking a "cheap cigar, strikes an easy attitude, and plunges into some "gem from his ' Selections for Penny Beadings.'

Boosby and Bobinson had a good time at Waiwera. They lunched at the hotel, of course. The place was like a fair. ' Arry was very conspicuous—not by his absence, but by his presence — and so was his ' young woman.' It is a pity 'Arry can't be made to take his pleasure by- himself. His dress offends the eye, and so does his rough horse-play, and his loud, coarse laughter and slang offend the ear. Bobinson ahd Boosby found a fine specimen of the breed on the rocks, eating oysters.

Out in the garden, beneath a shady tree, the conspirators discovered their old friend, McDougal, in tbe act of - taking his medicine.'

Mac is the most jovial indivndual .going. His devotion to the bottle knocks him up every now and then, and then he has to recuperate. He generally goes to Waiwera for the purpose, and invariably ' prescribes for himself,' as he says. One of these days he will take ' a drop too much,' and furnish the teetotallers with another shocking example. Meantime he is enjoying himself. Bobinson and Boosby, after a chat with the old sinner and two or three nips, decided to have a bathe from off the beach. This was unfortu-, nate, as it turned out. But it was written, and could not be omitted from the programme. Bobinson hadn't been in two minutes, when ashark rose and attempted, to lunch off the fleshy part of his thigh.

i Fortunately, the attempt ; was unsuccessful ; Bobinson got off with a graze on his leg. But he wouldn't go .in again., He was afraid there might be other sharks waiting, for 'an opportunity of lunching. 77 Boosby was alsp unfortunate. .^Soniething bit him as he. stood,, barefooted,, on sand. He thought it was a kakapo, and khbwing that the bite was dangerous, and that whisky was .one of . the best antidotes for bif es, he , skipped into the ba,r and had a quiet one '.all by. himself .' ,

The young lady behind the bar was of opinion that Mr Boosby could, not have been bitten by a :kakafo. Boosbysaid he. didn't, know, but^hought he had tietler have 'another- whisky ,'• anyhow. While ;he .was ; drinking .it .the , fair .one -gave a piercing sbream,. and rusfied to archaif, on which, she stood, with aU ,her skirts gathered about heir, .s6reaming:alftbe'tiihe like anythihg.^-.. 7*. ,A- : . ; ;i- .Ever^feady'tpjclm beauty, inv * ■d|i^i|£siOQsby^^ : . -- _' -'- !..*" 'vr* _*■ ..'!■ :!--'. ' v .-/ . '.7 '-y .•"* r iT'S^tM "."" * *Zi, rfZF "AnX.~«-V>,~i_''s_: )' f "'-

| The oause of the trdublei w'aa a mouse. "••".' i

l \' Boosby having slain the fierce animal, and ;f Won the undying gratitude- of the young" lady behind the bar, had 'just one more,' to make quite certain about that kakapo. Then Bobinson -we up, and.asked.tbe. yftung lady behind the. bar whether shark bitW%ere venomous or not? She said she didn't know/ 1 ;'and Boosby remarked that there was nothing 'like being on the. safe side. They had another. "' Boosby had how had quite enough. Possibly this it was that induced him to kiss his hand to the cook, who was standing at the door of the kitchen, as the friends left the bar.

The cook's young man, who is a waiter, happening to be passing at the moment, didn't half like it. He is naturally a sweet-tempered young man, who writes poetry after his day's work is done and he is no longer Uarrassed with cries of ' Waiter 1' In the double cut beneath we see Robert under two aspects : In the left-hand cut he is his sunny self, as he appears after receiving a tip. The other shows how ihe looked after seeing Boosby kiss his hand to the cook.

Bobinson had to tip Robert handsomely, or gore would have been spilt. There was, kiss-in-the-ring down on the sands in the afternoon. Bobinson joined in. He was remonstrated with for this by Boosby, but replied that when you were in Rome you must do as the Romans didj and that people would fthihk*. they were trying to put on ' side. ' if they didn't take . part. in. any fun that was going on. So Boosby sat down and looked on, and Bobinson got hold of one of the nicest girls, and— but see illustration.

When reminded subsequently by Boosby that he (Bobinson) was a married man, and ought to know better, the offender said that he was so carried away by the excitement of the game, that he really forgot he nas married ! Perhaps, onthe whole, it would be just as well if Boosby didn't, mention the occurrence:,; to Mrs Bobinson. He (Boosby) knew what women were.; . 'Faith, andi do,' said Boosby,.' if Mrs Boosby caught me at such games, it's a bad time I would be having, I can tellyou I She'd take it out of me !' Bobinson shuddered. <. - After a farewell nip, our friends hurried across the sands to the boat, fqr the steamer's * whistle had already sounded twice. ;j The return trip was monotonous. The sky was gloomy and threatening, the wind; blew sharp ; and : chill. Bobinson and Boosby saj; opposite to each other. But they were not happy. They were feeling the voice of ' the inward monitor,' and it was saying, or rather snapping : ' -The way of the transgressor is hard. Just you wait until you get home. Ain't you goingyfco catch it— oh, no i\ .. , ; . -. M 'A '■ ' Bobinson,' said Boosby, uneasily, df ter a long silence, ' shall we haye. another nip?,' . *No .more for me,rthank you.' y .'yy ,-.-■;. Another, pause. ;-/ • , - 7 -. y. -^ , * '. Bohihs^n^-r-wh-i^wii^ii:- areiy^u goingrto say when-j^gej'h^l^^.-v;'^-;^, A£ y;s •:■■&.. -..jAy..^ ASav#^&M^ y ■ :.-;^i^i.: A^Aa-a. tA'AAs^A%^AM^m^MAi^t4

hard all day to get out the ahnuaibalahoe-sh^^S r « Bbbinsoh, it* won't Hfeattl -InyßolJywM^lS a glai&- r eye, can see by thectflbu.. ofyout-fa^filt^ you have been having a high old tSlte "■bt^if&lll Then your breath- — '■- *■_-«-•*, : ' ■-'"'}.■■ ! B. yS#sf| *;Oh, give us a rest 1 Wh^;%ret^|oiiw^§^ say??." : 77 :. ".'77.. ' '7 .;•' : .^7^ ,>.'.3i^^® -,'jT think' Lshall;telf**:the truthr^itlis thejhesr^ thing,. the safest way.' . '.- "' : -” A '■s'''.'•, : $; A Ai%A*o§ 'jDori't-yotf lug me" into, your story)' remarked^ Bobinson, exoitedl^,' ;*o& yb"ullv^iVe? f ;ih^7away^l mcely. "D'ye hear.?-, 'f-r'^-' ' A-'AAf/>A^m But Bobsby's head was oh - Jbis= mahly*' BreS Wm mv slept - the lee P of the i ast '- : ■-'^$m The return trip wa& vrety tame. • The brasWl hand, was silent (to the heartfelt rejoicing! tjfm m »py)- the comic reaiterwas-druiifi; tind allJKa^ whisky aboard was exhausted. -" ••*-.!.•'«-■_? .'^^A^ Things were getting gloomier and gldoitifel Bobinson and Boosby (now awake again): feltftl baa. . , ■ •■ '.•,•-'•- ,747.;!;' All hands were delighted when the boat reitqi&cWl Queen-stpet. wharf. 7 Bobinson" had ■■'-Vttuflft^ landed before he. was. confronted by a':ssnit£p visaged, woman in black, who began the agoiryilsr^i askmgiwhathe meant' by it?' - * '-y-^t-S

-■. v ~fis Bbbinson's better haif hardly. waited untU,,he^f got home before opening fire. He- confessed »alli^| and threw himself- on the mercy, of the court r *hu|f?*! the court wa? hot inclined to. be merciful. ?yt Alas, poor BobinsonJ- ..---* 77 .y% This was wha&awkited 7ww": •' ' . 7:S

He .was told that he' ought, to. bej'ash&med'^p^ himself ! ' To* go and tell a "wicked. ! 'fklsehb6^ s lffi^l thit 1 '■" Mrk Bbbin'sWs nephew* (tfie^YiMfp^| youngj man): had gone down to ; thb w 6ffis#-' , aftefr|j| breakfast" and discb.vei.ed 'the' infamous trlttff^^ that he :'was.:noVthere;' : "Then they he'ar&^h^hppft gone off on a pleasure trip. Oh,'. he 'was^a^iiiS^p married man and the-fath'er of ! a' fa'niilyy £r wSSS?^P he ? It was no good his pretending to be/aslee£f| because she knew he was awake, ahd^awate' herff was going to remain until -she ;had>had her aaypH etc., etc., etc. " ' "- - .',,- aAOM Poor follow, he;wenfc off into a tro,uble^|§g^fe^ last, and dreamt .of pretty .barmaids, sharkff^kak^& apos,. kiss-invthe-ring, and -he thought; r^t^Mfl and Boosby were run in, tried,- bohyJictedyi^.a^jpl^ sentenced to be — — j but once more ' se^-illus-?*^ tration:' '" ''.''•'-' "'-*^

And next morning Mrs Bobinson .was iup^fijrsir^;! and Bobinson saw her deliberately ' go ihroug^'^ his pockets. 7of|l

And -heard " her > murmuY^t '-That manyhatfS thirty shillihgs,(yfesterday-;m^rn3i^g,T.'know,'ahs^ not a cppper-of it left'!;..:|Bobih*a;6nlshu'ddered).*7;liS expeofc7that:,g6dd-fbrVnb^^ bad; and after, hrea/kfast ■i'-lfcgd .over and?^ee*'MniS Boosby, .and > haveya chat] withVi^^s>hi|t]b^|m y And „.so. the .twbylidies compared^nQtes^ali^S ;agree.dthat.next-holiday4hey wbuldfkeepS'sharßg eye on their ylords/.ahdior; the ' f utjir'e 7 laugh^a^ .spor^allex^uses-about.^the.of_^c.e. , . y .-^iS A ; And(tht_s were Bobsby^nd Robinson punished^ ; and we; j: think- : .-. lady .teaiiier?, ,■ one-*: jand|aal|^^ married, and: single*' (but especially*.] tliei|^%itii^j^l jones) will say :-'' Serve \em xighiV^-A'^dQ^M^^

... !: upV &rid Tdb'whoo^r^ol^iSl^f^S yGuest at. .Auckland :;hotp^to:!.^&\o^^^PW^ 6 knbw*youV but^M^Mfi^l^ereSlh ivo>eeu yott. " [before -&' -Warf^^o^^W-»nh#*^a^g, j 1 . years=>a'£bosi%:^ *r j-:tsbs^ * _