IN THE REPORTERS ROOM

Observer, Volume 9, Issue 522, 22 December 1888, Page 10

IN THE REPORTERS ROOM

Bx M. T. Case.

k fa^^OW came you to think that Goldstein's W^k antagonist was the incumbent of St. JJL')/ Paul's, O'Planagan ?' enquired the J/f chief. ' Well, it is very seldom I do make a mistake, but I took it for granted that all this discussion was being carried on by clerics. I never dreamt of our Anglo- Maori friend chipping in.' ' lam awfully sorry the St,ar has notified the correspondence closed,' said the religious editor. ' We know too little about the Maori language, v and I, fear that before long we shall knew very much less.' ■'.'-■ ' The similarity between certain words of the Hebrew and Maori tongue is passing strange,' said the chief. ' But what is Nelson attempting to prove? 1 ; „■■• ..., 'He evidently is of opinion that the Jew-is~ari oft.shoot of the Maori, or vice versa,' said the police : reporter; 'but unfortunately the Star cuts him short, and we are debarred from ascertaining the full extent, of bis opinions' - , I ' I believe the Jews in the days of Solomon were a shady lot— in complexion, I mean,' remarked | the religious editor. ' Not quite so dark .as a f nilblooded' Maori perhaps, but certainly duskier than a half-caste.' •'■ ' . ' That was undoubtedly the case, 'assented the police reporter, ' and if Nelson's hypothesis be correct, it is very certain that a Maori and a Jew in those days could have conversed together, so similar in formation and idiom are the $wo vernaculars.' ' Perhaps the Star would allow Nelson a couple of columns a week if he paid for them as adver- , tisemants,' aaid the chief. •We will depuiationise him on the subject.' '. After all, what's in a name ?' asked the religious editor. ' Shaybang or Shavang — it's all one, and yet Goldstein makes a big fuss about it.' I'-.:-'- . ■■■.-. ■ ' And quite right, too,' replied the policereporter. ' The poet was a fool who said a rose by any other name would smell as> sweet. Whai rot ! Would a girl marry a man named Buggins if she could get one named Montrevor ? About two years ago a couple of evangelist's visited Auckland on a preaching tour. One wasVMr Trotter, the other the Honourable PrJWaldegrave: When Trotter officiated, the audience was a moderate one; when the Honourable occupied the pulpit, seats had to be placed in all the available ; corners of the church.- So it always has been---'* ! so it always will be.' . I 'Do you never show a preference in such cases, O'Flanagin ?' demanded the chief I .'- ; r 'In the case just meritiojied I'would not have ' gone to hear either, I believe in every man to his trade. '■■■' I like to listen to a properly-educated and duly- qualified preacher. Let the lawyer keep to his wig and gown, the plumber to his gas-pipe and solder, and thp draper to hjs calico and ribbons. Many men feel they have a call to preach, but it is a call that no one endorses. More harm than good is done by ill-educated men in the pulpit. Their vulgar ungrammatical language brings contempt on the gospel they preach. Not many years ago I heard, one in this province -expound the text '"Ope is the 7ianchor> of the soul." p He was afterwards charged at the Auckland Supreme Court with attempting an unnatural offence, and the pulpit lost a vigorous though not very shining member.' ' Have you done? 1 ♦ Talking of names, it has just struck me that childern are sometimes christened with "names that prove, in after years, most appropriate. Take, for instance, the talented conductor of the Ponsonby Choral society. With strange prescience, his sponsors bestowed on him the names Thomas .Tallis,, the cognomen .of one ofthe grandest of old English composers. ;'I .venture 1 to think that Mr Trimnell is very satisfied with ' his Christian names Or take another remarkable man, C. S. Parnell, the leader of the Irish party in he House of - Commons. Charles Stuart ! Could any other name' £e so appropriate , for the biggest Pretender of the present dayT' " 'You mean Patriot, dWh you? 'f . -' ', 1 To save.disc'ußsion, we'll,, say boj-h.' . ,-jr ' New Zealand ers v? ill feel greatly .indebted to'

Mrs Aldis for her candid^ views on ihef.pal^Qy^as ? ;sA published-ih a li wdpi^ paper, ''said;,tlie'^bief tcfyf.% .) ' A good many' will 1-esent her rem'arkSv^Baid.--^' the police-reporter, ""but ,I' confess; that r 1 ./ thoroughly endorse a.gpod/deal of , \viiat>sh6 says.' Especially on the question of manhood suffrage, n \- which'is a 'disgrace to the colony^ '"The great' fault about, the Aldifrtd is that they 'write too , mudb. They shove their oar into everything, y from a rifie ranee down to a soiled dove. * JBesidesj ■ proving monotonous to newspaper readers, 'it is"; very impolitic on their pi rt People, , dan 1 fc help wondering if the Professor does anything besides', write letters to newspapers. However' it ia' very * magnanimous of them to sojourn -rUh Tnoh, a - vulgar ignorant lot ox people, and we should feel deeply grateful to them.' > , ' Was it Tom Moore, O'Flanagan, who said there was nothing half ,so sweet, in life as Love's young dream?' enquired the itligious f editor. •Very likely. Moore did say some, •, foolish things in his time.' • t ' Love's young dream may be sweet, but Love's old dream is pretty tough. That "grand old' soldier" McDermott, as Earle calls him had a bad attack of it. FansyJJa scarred old veteran of sixty-six summers becoming so infatuated with a woman of Kate Kennedy's character and antecedents.' ' It is a very old s.iymg that old fools are the worst fools. You will find dozens of remarkable instances of this in the Old Testament, and old men seem to have no more Bense now than they had then. I daresay you -will turn out , that sort yourself, "for a little religious leaven in a man's character in. fallibly makes him more susceptible to the seductive charms of women.' David was very far gone that way, and Solomon, who is safd to have been the wisest man, that, ever lived, never knew when to stop. This i? ar^awfjully interesting subject, and I should be exceedingly, glad, if we could persuade the Aldises to drop such common topics as temperance in .schools, and devote their undoubted talents to the elneidation t of the one I now speak df.' ' Perhaps Goldstein and Shaybang Nelson could throw a little light upon it. It is one of the very few subjects that possess a common interest' to all men, no matter of what clime' or colour they may be. There are lots of interesting phase* > in it; for instance, the strange preference sometimes shown by European women for Chinamen.' ' ' ' Well, we haven't time to go into it now,' said the chief, ' and I propose, that we. leave further discussion of it till some future date,' *■ The soft-goods merchants of the other parti of the colony do not appear to approve of Shan* non's appointment as expert in connection with the Customs . Department,' said the religious - 1 editor. t t ' If he really uttered the words as stated. intones , of the papers the other day, I do not wonder at their decision. A man who , could/ talk snch childish nonsense as that is hardly suitable for ■ any important position, and it puzzles me how the Government can have been influenced to ' give him the billet. It surely cannot be a fact that he bowled out a firm making a fraudulent entry, and the said, firm was 'allowed iio v escape the just punishment o\ their crime.' , ' Can the Government compound afelony, ftnd be held harmless?' asked I 'tHe'cHieiD 'If the Commissioner of Customs winked ' ai ■ such an action as Shannon asserts was done, could he • not be made to stand his' trial ? I wonder that the wholesale firms do not insist on "this thing being at once cleared up.' ' You may depend upon it, that they' will,- and > J any delay that may occur is only eansed by I the necessity for having everything thoroughly prepared. They are not the men to allow random charges of this nature to' be flung about indiscriminately.' - , , . ' I say, O'Flanagan, 1 exclaimed the'^ligio'ui editor, • you own shares in various mining com' panics ;do you reckon it good when- "a miner's monthly yield is more than payable ?'"' '' " f. ' I am quite satisfied when any mine .1 am interested in gives a payable yield. 'I do not quite understand what they mean by more than payable. Perhaps they are going to declare an enormon* dividend, and -wish to break the news gently fco the shareholders.' < . • The phrase I now quote was applied to last " month's crushing of the Waiotahi mine, "th« , steadiest gold-producer on the Thames," -as the mining scribes delight to call it. Bat although the yield was more than payable, strange to say, no dividend has bean declared, and ihat is why I ask you is it gratifying to have' such a yield ?• 'I am just going down tq MacDonnell's to draw my dividend from the Saxon, which is better than a steady gold -producer, as it / is "% sjteady dividend-payer. We will look' Frank \^hite npj ' ' and see what the Waiotahi directors are about* I expect this Gospel Temperance Tent .busirieEg' has somewhat unsettled them. Take a-* clove ,' with you, you will require one.'