THE PLEASANT CALL.

Observer, Volume 9, Issue 522, 22 December 1888, Page 7

THE PLEASANT CALL.

A SOCIETY DRAMA IN ONE ACI ! . Dbamatib Pebsone Mks Youngwife ( a newly made bride, just in her new quarters and not out of the honeymoon's last quarter ) . Thk Caller (of no consequence whatever,) and Henbv (incontestably the principal character, although he doesn't appear at all.) [Seene — Mrs Youngwife's parlour. Crayon of Henry over mantle. Photograph of Hemy on table. Henry's slippers by the fire-place. Henry's lingering cigar smoke in the air — in short, suggestions of Henry everywhere. Caller en scene. To her — 1 (Enter Mrs Youngwife, somehow giving the impression of being more Uenryish than anything else in the whole Henryfied house.) Mrs Youngwife (vivaciously)— Why, how do you do ? I'm awfully glad to see you— but, oh I'm so sorry ihat Henry isn't at home— l truly am ! He's detained at the office by work, poor fellow. He's so industrious, Henry is I The Caller -Yes I— Mrs Youngwife — And, of course, you haven' seen his last "picture, here it is. It's an excellent likeness", don't you think ? And yet, it doesn't really do him justice— the artist said his expression was very unusual. He's so peculiar, Henry is ! . The Caller— YesMrs Youngwife— So, perhaps you'll like this cabinet better— Henry does. But he says' he thinks it's a.cage o^six; of the one and half-a-dozen t of^tlie-. other^-n^;/ ha,; ha! He's so. epigrammattci;;Henry is-} --V ' . ; .;, ; -;,. Tiie:OaUerri'(seizing heroppoiltunity^-It's ex-

tremely war m; this, after nqion. - » *. , Mrs Ydungwife— There ! Exactly as - Henry " "*' predicted 1 This very morning he said to me : , : 1 Now, Julia, see if we don't have a. roaster a X ! regular sizzler,'— in that humorous way of his,., >; ( you know ; arid now it's turned out just as he said. He always was so meteorological ! ■■'' -\. The Caller (stolidly continuing) — And I notice ' that almost every body seems preparing to leave!' ;■ town. s - ' > ' Mrs Youngwife (scornfully) — Henry isn't. „ When he arrived home the other day, he' said : ' Jale,' (you know how abbreviating he is !)— ' Jule not a step do I stir out of the city this summer.? That shows how inhabitive Henry is ! (Pause, during which Mrs Youngwife caress-., mgly dusts photograph ana tenderly re-ar-ranges slippers. Then—) •"...-. Mrs Youngwife— Henry , . '"'■'• The caller (desperately)- Oh, have'=§ou read , Eider Haggard's last ? I_ Mrs Ydungwife— Henry has. And he doesn't : like it at all. 'Why,' he said, only yesterday, ' it's just nothing but highflown flumadiddle, and that's flat !' He really did. He's so condemnatory, Henry is ! The Caller— Many people speak very highly of the book. Mrs Youngwife (with decision) — Henry— .' The Caller (persevering) — What do you think ? ' Mrs Youngwife (slightly ruffled)— Why, I've just told you Henry's opinion of it 1 , The Caller (finding situation dangerous) —l think I shall run down to Taurariga next .week. Mrs Youngwife— Goodness gracious, how can . you ? Henry hates Tauranga. He says he's ' no use for the plaje in Ms business— not the least. He's so metaphorical,. Henry is ! The Caller — I didn't know he'd ever been there. Mrs Youngwife— He never has. The Caller— Then, how— . Mrs Youngwife— And that's jast why I wonder at your going. (This subject being evidently settled beyond dispute—) The Caller— l hear Dr. Chasuble is to resign the rectorship of St. Polysperchon. Mrs Youngwife -Well, I should think he would. Henry has been very much dissatisfied with him for a long time ; he doesn't like the Doctor's views on open communion a particle. He takes great interest in the discussion — he's so theological, Henry is ! The Caller — The Doctor is reluctant to resign, I understand. Mrs Youngwife — He wouldn't -be if he knew what Hen — The Caller — And the parish is nearly unanimous in desiring him to remain. Mrs Youngwife — Unanimous 1 Unanimous ! I'm surprised that you should say ' unanimous ' when Henry — The Caller (hastily) — I said ' nearly unanimous.' Mrs Youngwife (severely)— Very far from it, I should say. Henry isn't unanimous a bit ! The Caller (again getting out of danger) — The Savage Club had a delightful meeting last evening. Mrs (Youngwife (coldly — )Ah, indeed I Henry didn't go. The Caller (persisting in iniquity) — Even more delightful than the last. Mrs Youngwife (icily)— Than the last? Why Henry went to that \ The. Caller — You probably know that there was an election of officers ? Mrs Youngwife (spitefully)— And they made a great mistake in not choosing Henry for President. He's so parliamentary, Henry is ! The Caller— But— Mrs Youngwife (tossing her head) — Though, of. course, he wouldn't have taken the position. « I don't want any part of the old club,' said he. He's so unambitious, Henry is ! The Caller (finding every topic beset with perils, and concluding to escape)— Well, really, must— (rises.) Mrs Youngwife — What ? Going ? You haven't seen — The Caller— l know I haven't — Mrs Youngwife — You'd enjoy yourself immensely with him. He's so entertaining, Henry is! The Caller— Yes. Mrs Youngwife — And so conversational ! The Waller— Certainly. Mrs Youngwife — And so — i The Caller (beating a disorderly retreat) — In-, deed he is, and more, too. (At the door. ) . Oh I It's raining hard, and I've no umbrella 1 Mrs Youngwife in great agitation ) — Neither has Henry 1 Here are five umbrellas in the rack and none — not even one— at the office. Oh, dear me ! I'm awfully afraid he'll get wet and be ill — he's so delicate, Henry is ! And do you suppose he'll wait till it stops, or take a car, or will he be wild enough to walk up in the rain? — he's so adventurous ! — and if you had an umbrella I'd ask you to walk down and meet him ; but, as you haven't any — The caller ( hoping for one of the five, but seeing no prospect of getting it) — Good afternoon 1 • Mrs Young wife— Good af — oh, there's Henry 1 . Hen-? 1 ?/ .' Wait one moment, and I'll run to meet you with the umbrella ! Hen-7'y / . . [ Caller sneaks away unnoticed and forgotten.]