BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 236, 21 March 1885, Page 12

BRIEF MENTION

"Water in which teeth have lain over night is not good to drink. According to the doctrine of the Survival of the Fittest, the last man will undoubtedly be a tailor. The coming rage in hair is a soft and tender red, like that of a tomato which has grown old and lost usefulness. " I thought you told me you didn't use tobacco?" "I don't." "But you are puffiing a cigar now." "Yes, but that's only a three a penny one. JN"o tobacco in it." A Melbourne publican announces that, " to meet the requirements of the times," he is ready to supply various non-alcoholic liquors to such of his customers as may want them. "Whenever you speak, tell the truth," said an ancient philosopher. If this principle were to prevail now, silence in this country would be so thick that you could cut it with a case knife. "There is no place like your home," says the poet. Eight ; Unless it's the home of "the young woman you're after. This is, of course, an exception. Future poets will please note it. Young lady (playfully, to her beau, who lias just called) : "I hope you won't ask me to play and sing for you this evening, for I have been practicing all the afternoon." He: " Certainly not; I came to enjoy myself." "No," said the dying punster, Avith a grim smile ; " no, I don't object to flowers, but don't have any violets, please. I should not care to have my grave violeted, you know." It was immediately agreed that it was best he should go. The latest device of a Paris paper for attracting readers is the engagement of two eminent physicians to attend gratuitously ' upon its yearly subscribers. Recently the manager of the paper notified to one of the physicians "not to prescribe for X any more ; his subscription has expired." The doctor replied, "So has X." Jones: "I understand that your wife is down with the measles." Smith: "She had quite a severe attack, but, I'm happy to say, is now convalescent." Jones: "Glad to hear it. I suppose she now reminds you of the Phoenix." Smith: "How so?" Jones: " Because, if she is convalescent, she is rising- from her rashes." She had had a hard trial with him during his life, but had meekly borae her lot. Now the end had come, and he was passing- away. As she bent over him he looked up and said, faintly — " I'm going," and he went. " He's gone," she 'said, wiping her eyes'; "poor fellow, it's the first time I ever knew him to keep his word." The Claimant, in a letter to Mr John de Morgan, published in the Toronto Weekly Neics, says: — "Could you oblige me by seeing Mr Barnuin, and ask him what he would guarantee me for a six months' tour through America with his circus, as I am entirely dependent on what I earn to keep my children, who I should have with me if I visited America. " Barnuin. replied by saying Sir Roger would not prove attractive in the States. A woman who has been the wife of a Mormon elder for several years deserted him recently and went home, denouncing Morinonism and everything connected with it in the bitterest terms. " I was induced to become a Mormon," she said, " through the grossest misrepresentations. I was informed that every woman had three husbands, instead of which 1 found myself one of three wives. Mormonism is a disgrace to civilisation." "Porter, a shilling," was the entry in a Government official's expenses account. The chief, thinking this represented expenditure for liquid refreshment, refused to pass the item, until it was explained that the shilling was given to a man for carrying a dispatch box. " Then, in future," said this austere personage, " don't write porter, but porterage." " Very good, sir. Then, if I take a cab, I suppose I must not write cab but cabbage ? " What the chief's reply may have been deponent sayeth not. It is not very generally known that the Queen was once calJed Queen Alexandrina Victoria ; but it is a fact, nevertl: eless, that Her Majesty was originally proclaimed and the oaths of allegiance administered to her in the name of " Alexandrina Victoria," and she would so have been called to this day had it not been for a curious accident. On the occasion of the Council meeting held "at the Court of Kensington," the 20fch of June, 1837, it was discovered that she had affixed her signature as " Victoria " to the list of the Privy Councillors present. Alexandrina was, therefore, immediately omitted, although during the ceremonies in the City and elsewhere the Queen was always addressed as Her Most Gracious Majesty Alexandrina Victoria. It is not generally known either that the Queen of England never wears, officially, any State robes, excelling only at her coronation, when she goes to Westminster Abbey,, in* crimson, and is there, invested with purple, arid when she visits Parliament, when jshe is attired in red.

The superstitious dread of sitting down — thirteen at a table — has been the cause of a sad occurrence at Berlin. A number of guests were invited to dinner to celebrate the birthday of a daughter of the house. In the midst of a pleasant talk, one of the ladies present remarked with evident terror that there were thirteen at the table. Of course her words sent a smile round the table, and they tried to reason her out of her silly idea that there was anything ominous in the fact of thirteen being together. It was useless, however, and then, in order to humour her, they complied with her request that all present should draw lots, and the one with the lowest number should leave the gathering, and get her share of the cake the following day. Strange to say, she herself drew the lowest number, and, of course, could not be prevailed upon to remain. Accordingly she left, but, slipping at the head of the stairs, she fell to the bottom, and five miimtes afterwards was a corpse.

QUEER CARDS.