BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 235, 14 March 1885, Page 12

BRIEF MENTION

Net gains — fish. Daily papers. — Bills. Rolling-stock — billiard balls. The milky way. — A baby's. expenses. — Children. A suit of mail. — A postman's uniform. Men of penetration. — Tunnel constructors. Will she take that testimonial or Leavitt ? Conversion of New Zealand stock. — The meat freezing process. Look out for another Booth, and another l)ig canvas — for subscriptions. There's many a dynamiter who is afraid to give his mother-in-law a blowing up. "We have to acknowledge the receipt of a copy of the Auckland University Calendar for the year 1885. Rev. Reid's plan for the conquest of the Soudan — to send 50 missionaries. About enough to furnish a breakfast for the Mahdi's body-guard. Scene, Hobson Hotel; time, lunch. Dr York (with a look of disgust at a fly in a plate of soup): "Take it to the devil!" Waitress: " Arrah, sir, shure, the loikes o' ye don't belave in the devil." Total collapse of York. The person who took the liberty of borrowing from the editorial room of the Observer a copy of "Whitaker's Almanac for 18S5 and other books, will oblige by returning the same. The Almanac has the signature of C O. Montrose on several pages. The Herald gives a^ likeness of the Hon. J. Colton, which is 'remarkable in many respects. The face is apparently tatooed on one side, the hon. gentleman wears a bib round his neck, and a kind of dishclout, dovible turban, or two big stones, on his head. There is a girl of IG, named Miss Rachel Lotinga, in London, who conducts a flourishing money-lending business. If she were in Auckland, wouldn't the bill-brokers and mashers set their caps at her ? The problem of "what shall we do with our girls V" is solved. A girl money-lender would knock Abbott and Dunnett kite high. A VOICE ON ONEHUNGA REVIVALISM. If John would relent He might be forgiven ; With mercy's consent He might get to heaven. But his mode of prate Is so strange and rare That we doubt his state As fit to be there. If Satan'a within John must cast him out Ere he can drop sin With a joyful shout. That was a nasty jar for the parsons at the recent meeting of the Auckland Benevolent Society. All. their trumpet-blowing was mere sound and fury. (So with the Blue Eibbon party who stuffed Booth's pockets, but were too mean to assist the Band of Hope, whose services they made use of at their demonstrations. Mr Dunningham, of the Governor Browne Hotel, got a facer the other evening. An innocent looking young man, wearing the " bit o' blue," glided in, accompanied by a female, evidently a veiy recent convert, wanted to sot 'em up for two, and to be accommodated with a double-bedded apartment. Then Dunningham expressed his sentiments in a few words of strong AngloSaxon, and the innocent young man's face looked bluer than the bit of ribbon, as he sadly departed with his fair companion in ■ search of other diggings. Fact !

A wedding of considerable interest took place in the Beresford-street Congregational G^r° h Jf st , Wednesda 7- It was the union of Mr Chailes Bartley, son of Mr Bartlev architect, to Miss Letitia Gee, eldest daughter of Mr Thomas Gee, of the well-known firm Gee and Potter, coach-builders, Auckland Batween two and three hundred friends were present in the church to witness the ceremony, which was performed by the Eev J Robertson M.A. Mr J. P. Hooton, organist of the church presided at the harmonium and played Mendelssohn's " WeddingMarch " as the procession entered and left the church The bride was dressed in white aun s veiling, with rich broche silk down .the front, looped up with bridal flowers. 23iere were six bridesmaids, who were each

dressed in blue and cream, which threw out the bride's into handsome relief. As Miss Gee had been a prominent member of the Young Ladies Bible-class, and also a member of the choir, the two bodies united to present her with a handsome tea and breakfast service in pink and gold china, comprising over one hundred pieces, Mr W. Eady, senior teacher of the class, making the presentation, which was accompanied with an address wishing her happiness in her new home. The signatures of the members of the class and choir were appended to the document. At the conclusion of this interesting ceremony, the. bridal party entered the four cabs, and enjoyed a drive around the city and suburbs. Later in the day about fifty friends assembled at the residence of the bride's father to honour the event and partake of the wedding breakfast. The cake was made by Mr P. Crow,Jof Hobson- street

The Rev. A. Reid having solved the Soudan difficulty by suggesting that 500 missionaries should be sent to convert the Arabs to Christianity, we suggest, in furtherance of this brilliant stategic plan, that the angelic creature depicted above should be the pioneer missionary. The Mahdi may be a fanatic, but however Ma(li)di is lie is he would be easily converted by missionaries of that sort.

The pat that once, upon the tiles, His midnight music shed, Now lies as quiet in the j)ond As quiet as the dead. No more the howl of former nights, His glory's thrill is o'er ; For now he doth explore the bourne — Grimalkin fights no more. No more beneath the stars so bright His loud cantata swells— A cord, a stone, affixed aright, Its tale of ruin tells. Felinus now so seldom wakes ; The only move he gives Is when some hungry heartless, eel Doth show the way he lives.

( Eemenyi has been taking a rise out of the Star interviewer. This enterprising- young man contrived to conceal himself in the great meestro's fiddle case, and when Eemenyi came into supper, after the performance, he got a start which very nearly spoiled his appetite. Suddenly the lid of the case flew open, and a diminutive individual gasped out, " Slap bang, here we are again ! ' ' The usual restoratives were applied, to use the reporter's own pet phrase, in the form of a sarsarparilla straight, and then the interviewer proceeded. A. ojtficelet on Eemenyi's wrist caught the eagle eye of the interviewer. He was mentally calculating what it would fetch at his uncle's, up the street. But Eemenyi never leaves things his museum at Pesth. It seems that this parto lying about loosely. He sends 'em all ticular bracelet was one of the numerous cartloads of presents, including worms (tape worms?), which the boss fiddler' receives from his multitudinous female admirers, who come in processions every day, blocking the passages of the Clarendon, and stopping the traffic. (Of course he will send these worms to Pesth. ) Eemenyi marked the burglarious expression of the interviewer's eye (we use the singular advisedly), and endeavoured to divert his attention, until he could get "Weston to trot in a policeman. Eemenyi's story was a very romantic one. He had slipped the bracelet on inadvertently while listening to lavishing pianoforte music played by a young lady, and he couldn't get that bracelet _ off again. " She said to me," said Remenyi, ' ' never take it off any more, and I never have. That's why it's there." Just so. And now after this beautiful and touching story, we know what will happen. Every unfortunate who gets run in will put himself down as a great violinist, and tell, with tears in his eyes, how a gaoler, in putting on the leg-irons, feelingly remarked, "never take 'em off any more," and then, after a pause, to choke down his emotion, will add, " And I never have. That's why they're here." I

Holy Joe was neatly had the other day by a certain wily publican in City East. Chaperoned by the well-known hotel agent, the unsuspecting Joseph wended his way along Queen-street, to the hotel in question. It was lunch time. The tables were crowded by a goodly assemblage of highly respectable citizens, whose solemn .visages, coupled with the prevalence of capacious jugs of cold water, gladdened the pious and frugal soul of Joe. With a few slight modifications it might have been transformed into a teetotal meeting. But the tables groaned beneath the weight of the choicest viands of the season; the menu was all that an Epicuros or a Lucullus could desire, and Joseph's mouth watered at the fragrant smell of the tucker. He got a free lunch, was obsequiously waited upon, and came out of the dining-room smacking his lips. Then he went to have a quiet chat with the lively syren who dispenses the waters of life. But the syren was not there. She had gone, she had fled, and in her place was a burly barman, who knew not Joseph, and stood not m awe of him. So he said unto the great Panjandrum of City East Licensing Committee, "What's your p'ison ? " But over the classic lineaments of Holy Joe there stole an expression of doubt, surprise, and wonder. The awful abominations and iniquities which he had expected to see were not there. And even as the soothing and .refreshing sensation of repletion stole through the gastronomic regions under his waistcoat, Holy Joe actually smole a smile. This statement would be incredible, were it not vouched for by several trustworthy eye - witnesses. Complimenting the proprietor of the hotel on the excellence of his larder, the cleanliness and good management of his house, and the absence of wicked and alluring barmaids, the illustrious man departed on his • way rejoicing. Then it was the proprietor's turn to smile, and he smiled till his head resembled a parlour coal-scuttle with the Ihd turned up. W T hy did he smile ? 'Twas because that scene in the lunch-room had been specially got up for the occasion, because his emissaries had gone out into the highways and byways and invited everyone with a decent suit of clothes to come in and partake of a free feed, because the barmaid had been stowed away down in the coal-cellar, and all the drunks had been ejected by the regular chucker-out, so that everything was serene and lovely for the expected visit, i QUS » you see, my dear Christian friends, that there are a few wrinkles that surpass the cunning and vigilance of even Holy Joism.

QUEER CARDS,