LEAVES FROM THE LIFE OF A SCAPEGRACE.

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 234, 7 March 1885, Page 9

LEAVES FROM THE LIFE OF A SCAPEGRACE.

Leaf 11,

MIDNIGHT MISHAPS IN CHINATOWN. O:sr the return of our hero, Jack Larkins, to Melbourne, after his eventful temperance lecture in Ballarat, he went to Sandridge to visit the doctor and iirst mate of the Highflyer, the ship in which he arrived in Australia. Dr. Scapula and .Mr Carry on, the mate, had been great chums . with Jack on the passage out, and were delighted to see him. After talking over old times, they agreed to call on our hero that evening, at nine o'clock, for the purpose of visiting a delightful portion of Melbourne — consisting chiefly of Little Bourke, Stephen, and Kussell-streets — called Chinatown, and as it was rather a dangerous vicinity for Europeans after dark, they all three decided that they would carry revolvers with them in case of accidents.

Our hero was staying at Monzie's Hotel, in Melbourne, and, at a little after nine that evening, the three friends were seated to a very inviting spread in the form of a supper. They sallied forth towards Chinatown at half-past ten, and after a short walk arrived outside the Chinese Theatre, which is situated in Little Bourke- street. Entering the vestibule they perceived a public bar, with four exceedingly pleasant looking Chinamen behind it, they at once called for drinks, but, to their amazement, the celestial barmen refused to serve them. Hereupon the niost delightful conglomeration of noises burst forth, jabbering, shouting, and swearing were mixed up in a truly delicious murmur — the Tower of Babel was put in the shade in less than no time.

The three Europeans, finding that they could not make head or tail of the business, held a council of war. The doctor was for going out quietly, but neither the mate nor our hero would agree to any such thing. At last Jack exclaimed —

" Well, I'm blest if this doesn't bang Bannagher — and Bannagher beats the Devil ! But I am not going to leave this without my drink. What do you say, boys ; shall we serve ourselves ? Remember, God helps thoso who help themselves, as the man said when he was robbing the shop-till." The hint was immediately acted upon, and in a very few seconds the four Chinamen were on the outside of the bar. The three Europeans, having taken possession of the bar, very quietly proceeded to suit their own palates. They were not, however, long left in undisputed possession, for, roused by the ejected Chinamen, the celestial audience came pouring out of the theatre into the vestibule. They most of them had longish knives in ttieir delicate fingers, and there were about

fifty of these exceedingly beautiful and amiable animals.

"By Jove !" cried our hero ; "we are in for it now, and no mistake about it. What awful ugly physiognomies the brutes have got !" "But how the deuce are we going to get out of this ?" exclaimed the doctor.

A rapid consultation then took place, and a plan was decided upon and carried into effect in the following mannner : — The three friends drew their revolvers and fired over the enemies heads, the result being that the Chinamen, not liking the smell of powder, withdrew a few paces; our hero and his chums then jumped on to the counter, and from thence sprang towards the door, which they succeeded in getting out of in the confusion, which the suddenness of their action threw the celestials into. Although they succeeded in reaching the street in safety, they discovered to their horror that they had simply jumped out of the fryingpan into the tire, for they found themselves completely surrounded by something like two hundred of the most beautiful looking animals it had ever been their good fortune to come into contact with. " Jehosaphat ! " exclaimed our hero,, "here's a pretty kettle of fish! What in the name of all that's blue are we to do now ? " "Do ! " cried the doctor. "Why, there is only one thing for us to do. We've got ourselves into a fix, and we must get ourselves out of it the best way we can." "That's all very well," said the mate, " but it's very much, easier said than done." Meanwhile, the Chinamen were gradually closing in all round, and at length our hero raised his revolver and was about to fire, when the mate exclaimed, " For God's sake, dont't fire, or we are gone coons ! " Just as he had finished speaking, the mate received about two inches of one of the Chinamen's knives in the shoulder, which made him forget all about his advice, and caused him to discharge his own revolver. This was a signal to his two chums, and for some two minutes the air resounded with the discharges, intermingled with^Chinese yells and curses. All this time they had been firing at the legs of their celestial assailants, because they did not care to run the risk of being hung for wnat they considered " the vermin of human creation." The -firing had a twofold effect, it both exasperated and cowed the Chinamen during its continuance ; but it is impossible to say what the result of the affair would have been, had not the noise of the revolvers, together with the shouts of the combatants, attracted the attention of a party of six mounted troopers, who now made their appearance, riding towards the scene of action. The appearance of the troopers threw the Chinamen into such a state of demoralisation that our hero and his friends found no difficulty in slipping away unnoticed by either troopers or celestials, and after a short run they reached Menzie's Hotel. On the following day the following notice of reward was posted in Melbourne : — "£oQ REWARD. "Whereas three evil disposed Europeans did wilfully and maliciously set upon and maltreat four Chinamen in the vestibule of the Chinese theatre, and afterwards did fire upon and wound several other Chinamen in Liittle Bourke-street, this is to give notice that the above reward, &c."

" Je-ru-salein !" slowly ejaculated our hero, as he stood reading one of these notices. " This is getting rather too sultry for niy liking. I rather guess that I had better go to a cooler district for a few weeks."

When Jack made up his mind to do anything, he never lost much time in the execution, and within an hour he was on his way to Geelong, on horseback.