THE COUNTRY

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 158, 22 September 1883, Page 12

THE COUNTRY

- WeIiLSPOBD.-kls it " t rub Nellie fell off the &ouse in order that 'JoVmight pick her up ? Joe Say* she ought to join the Blue Ribbon Army... ,4.1s it true ttnit the widow; Mra S., was jealbuß ■of the grass widow ? CAMBkroGE.— Donovan, the Auckland champion boxer, has opened a boxing-school. ISoy? is Jfcuif, time, boys...... "Where was Mr 0. and Miss H. on Sunday night ? Put of sight, out of mind, Jfcticei v ....The Rooster was in great form on Saturday night, but where was Monty ? . t 3?APAXi7BA.-rrls it fane that a certain young farmer is going to start a coal and firewood yard "at ,I)?uiry, and js going to keep a bicycle instead | of a horse, as it won't eat feed? .What is the attraction for the young grocer, that takeß him *ip the Hunua road so often? Beware, young •m^n J No-ABTTAWAHIA. — That young knight of the had better stop shooting ducks and pheasants .Miss B.s young man returned the other day* It surely isn't true that the supply of ink and paper has run short in Auckland ?... ...Mr G. seems to be in no hurry, but takes things as a matter of course. MoßKiwsYitiiß.—Really to^ bad of Mrs T. doing the ghost biz in the twilight with the old striped shawl over her head. Boy 3, afraid of 80gey. .... .Lady T. and colonred young lady nurse are on a visit from Whatawhata. How about the legacy ? Granny's Very quiet about it mow. Sir Charles running the pub. What bliss! •/• , •'. . ;: . : ; _ . Tb Awamxtftt.; — The little saddler does not iahine at Sunday meetings It was too bad of Mick to spoil Fred on Sunday night It is a. pity those young men could not find something «ett»r to do than playing hawky on Sunday afternoon.,.. .. What is the attraction for Real at Xake road so many times a week P is it the now. arrival from Mercer P""" 1 " MAtrisrGAKABAMit4.--M,rß W. is on the war-: path. .....1t was pretty rough on poor Walter only to get a snubbing when he presented the young lady with a pheasant. Had it been killed -in a sportsmanlike manner, instead of being frightened to death, she would have accepted it... -..Fred says that there is nothing that he enjoys so much as the little cold ham. * • ■ • . Waiobcwtgomai. — What is the attraction at X.'s pub. for H. ? Surely he has not forgotten; the old love so 500n...... A1l the young ladies thatv ( wsnt to Te Aroha to tee the Thames footballers, left their hearts . with T., the lightning-: jerker "What is the attraction for W. W. out; here ? You had better stick to the Thames girl, old boy. . . ; j Makabaka. — What was the cause of thatjroung baker knocking the flour off Miss H.,; lately of Whangarei, on the Makaraka road atjj nine o'clock on Wednesday night ? and why did 1 she jilt^that young storekeeper ?..... /Who is best; man wini Miss C, of Makaraka ? Doesn't Tommy; fancy himself! I think it is a match with Mr D. and Miss S. <. ' ■ Ofotiki.-— Who can that man be with the nnderlip of a negro, from the banks of the Congo, who wanted to marry the woman against her- will, after decoying her from Auckland ? His chum, a shapeless, emaciated mass of deformity, acted* his part in trying to bring the poor woman to •ruin....;. Black Dan and his piebald gang are doing wonders, lookout for your fingers from Charlie. ; Mangkbb. — That young lady shows the en- . gagement ring off to perfection Miss E. looks charming on the grey. Kbw's your time, boys !... ...Tom has gone away, and left two fair onea borrowing .That dark beauty always keeps the glove on now How is it there were so few at: the lecture? Of course, it was not the shilling admittance... ...Fred is a long time bringing matters to a olose with Misa W. Wake up, old boy! , IPakmttbe. — Ask Jack T. about Tussey...... "What induced Sam, of Otahuhu, to shave ? Emma is learning to ride, but what does she go down Pig-street for ? Is it to make Rose jealous ? ."What had the Savage and Jack to fight about the other day? What takes Duncan to the bouse under the mountain so often ? Got his eye to bueiness, or looking for the Port(in)land ? Donald says they could blindfold him, and he could find his way from Papatoitoi to Panmure, lie knows the road so well. Waiboa (H. 8.). — The ex-banker' 9 daughter 13 keeping pretty quiet. George will not com- • '^munieate with her It is a pity that young lady cannot hide her face before she goes out. Tiding. Fred did not see her I think it will; abe a match between Harry and Louie. There is. only one thing keeps them apart, and that is pa, Tommy has made it up with the widow, and -the parsons are on the alert...... Ma is bos 3of Kaisar's house, but the Kaiaar had better keep hte eyes on her Louie is sweet on Torn. What will his betterJialf say ? Mahgapai. — Mrs C, of Elecian Tiew, gave an ** At Home " last week. The Misses M. were the ■belles of the evening. Their costumes were in the latest fashion. It was plain to the eye that it had cost something to upholster them. David And Me. looked the picture of happiness teaching them such innocent little games as pusß-hvthe-corner and catch-me-kiss-me Bob, why don't you mount the blue ribbon, and then you would he able to join in the nyum-nyuras ?...... What draws the large congregation to the kirk? Is if. the pr'eaoher,. or the delivery of Her Majesty's ansil? Atokdaub.— Ern. looked quite dowu in the mouth when he couldn't get a girl to take to the tea-fuddle.;. „*The carpenter was cutting it fat with tho^e conversation lollies ..... .Harry vraa quite happy^wjth. that other chap'a girl and tho camelia. What; a weakness he has for jam tarts ± and currant cake !...... Wko is the young lady that said if her young man did not come up to the scratch very soon, she would throw him up for the widower? Don't count your, chickens "^before they're hatched, my dear How very quiet H. has beepme ! Are you saving up for ,ihe awful day, old man ?

-y PAßlHAgAv^iiOpk .out, v Wai^ha - "^ohgolop wink|rsj; ,Yau will have .a&arihaka weath;adder sneaking into , your : camp. -Point, the Joker! Clubs are trump 3. And you are saved...... Our Parihaka Hunt Club were not successful last meeting, the cat went into the Materal of the country, and was lost in /#/«re ,&•#?....,. Spondless, George was run off the cpurse. Tauwhaki firßt favourite for the Cup. Little P. went to Rahuto on a great mash, but failed to make any impression. He retired gracefully, and mashed long Ppngoloos F. C. tried by a jury, but not guilty i Poor Peg will do a great maah. in Wellington with Annie. OtfEHUiNGA. ; — Manukau Jack looked quite happy on that Sunday with those two young ladies. Were they town girls?... ;.. Ask Jack about the mountain goat, and the consequences likely to arise therefrom That young lady of renowned fame, who converted a certain gentleman, has put her fopt in it since his conversion. Still there s more to follow The forfceoraing election is likely to be very warmly contested, no less than six standing. " Vote for Pumpkin Flat " is all the cry Mr J. 8., the well-known ladies' man, has at last left for pastures green. Where did he leave his heart ? WatbbLßT — Town Board election coming on ; it is rumoured that Gasser is going for it That was rough of Jim when he told Tharky that a man in his position could not fight with a common navvy Calnan has started a barber's, shop.* Religious mania has abated. ......lmmense excitement about Momphaki gold — a hoax ; the specimen came from Auckland Tommy has taken the contract foa' 1 the Royal Mail. Con drives the. buggy Spencer N. is now convalescent,. after a bad fall from his horse R. is a Christian, and belongs to the new persua- > eipn. He refused to assist a man in a fit, because he; was going to church. Lakb Taupo.— C. J. N. has accepted the task of nursing the dear little son, and is reminded to think himself lucky that the baby is not twins. Old Gingle B. has taken refuge in the " Allum hole" King says that the trigger refused to work when the •" Clubs " was crossing the line of fire> and consequently the Peat is still living....;. W. should be careful where he leaves his paints, those girls oannot resist slapping it on Another, charming addition to our local beauty arrived in the person of Mrs J. Sims, from Auckland..;... Great demand for dye, many are becoming grey. A. S. says it's caused by the hot baths? .D.i left in good time, the card playing was becoming too-too Jumbo off to Auckland on sick leave... ...J. B. A. has completed his honeymoon at Tarawera. Pabboa.— Why didn't that wedding come off, Tom? .Who were the two young ladies in the Grecian bend and sign-boards? Those sympathetic verses of Miss P. 's have made poor Albert broken-hearted Dave and Harry had a neck-and-neck race till Miss B. left Paeroa. !..'.. Is it the book or Nelly that attracts the young painter so often to P.'s farm ?...... Why doesn't Bob come to see the barber's girl now ?..... .Thanks to old Sol, and not to the Thames County Coun- 1 cil, we can now enjoy a walk around, indicating ' that summer is drawing nigh Theodolite and chain may be seen peregrinating 1 with the grenadier and Edith Alice and William have been doing a big spoon, and are said to be safely booked, speaking matrimonially. Rev. Marshall will officiate shortly The Southern girl has ! won the only eligible of the community, and may 'be congratulated on her tact. Outfit to be i secured in Auckland next week. . . . . . Assher'a i' is the only baby worth looking at The race is not to the swift ; the strong stalwart is defeated Evelyn, being now fledged, is looking over the nest and prepared to fly There is a keen contest between Ted and 8.8. for the hand of the hotel slavey Toney S. looks melancholy since the fair Agnes went to Dargaville Miss W. and the barber are enjoying a linked-sweetness-and-long-drawn-out spoon . "WANaANtri.— Who was the gentleman that danced so often with his mother's old servant at the Union ball? .Who is the young lady that ehputs so at a certain country dance? When is the wedding coming off in Harrison-street ? Is it all a hoax ? Who was the lady that sang at a musical entertainment, and turned her nose up the, whole time? Some fashionable street dresses : — Miss Watt, an olive-green satin cloth, green velvet hat and feathers to match ; Miss Watts, fast blue French merino, blue hat and feathers to match; Miss Day, a prune satin cloth, prune plush hat and feathers What a sell for those, two constables, at the S. Hotel on Saturday night, M. thought it would end in a sad case of lun(ac)y, but it only turned out a case for the sick ward It was too bad of Tom F. locking the door on Jessie, and causing her to seek shelter in ihe ranks of the Starvationests... ...G.S. says, that although he does not foster any ill feeling against Billy, he. deems it expedient to carry a razor, as the sub keeps a sword and a gingham C.B. says, that, judging from recent experiences, there is likely to be a rise in the price of crockery. Never mind Charley there are plenty more bottles. Te Abai. — Bob says, when I have a big C. to my name the girls will walk arm and arm with me The dance was not a success ; the honour of being belle was divided between Miss I. and Miss D F. S. has cut the string, owing to M.'s advice...... How about that kiss on the hill the other side of S.s ? OldH. need not speak so plainly to the boys, when he taught them Will sixpence break you J We miss Dan's pretty face Jim says that Jenny is the best girl anywhere near. Lizzie says Jennie copies all her dresses It was too bad of the girls not to dance with Hughie or Bob. How's that for high?, The monthly dance came off last Friday,, and was considered quite a failure, all the £U'ls. seemed to be in bad humour, and the bo js ~-worae. Miss Brown was considered the belle of "the evening, and was much (admired for her .dancing, also her partner, F. Shannon, who was, without doubt, the best dancer in the room j. If. M. says he will get married next April if the Board will put up a house for him Wanted to know, whioh of the two girls gave Or. A. It. the lock of hair, the blonde or the brunette ? How c&n M. account for mounting his horse with Jus head towards the tail ? Ahem ! too mucli—ah. well ! perhaps his head was affected...

;;•>.. Whfer^ does' JGe intend top6p ; in/^ Question;? The widow s&ys he is very long-winded;.. V.'. Does' F; S. really intend td become a Water Christian 1 ■when he gets Maggie '?- No ishance if he does not. Wait till summer...,;. Is Harry going 1 ' to get married when he rents the farm Pi.'.... When is Charley going to send round the cards and cake ? ......Is it a barge or a punt that Bob is to be captain of ?...... Is Mary engaged^ or does she wear the ring to be in fashion ?....., When is M. going to give that grand ball ? New Plymouth.— l have been informed that some of the Egmont electors have determined to mvite Sir George Grey to contest the seat for the Egmont district against Major Atkinson at the next general elections. There can be no doubt that the latter has become very unpopular in bis own district, and if Sir George Grey will not accept the invitation, a purely local man will be run against the Colonial Treasurer, Sir George Grey's return will be certain if he will only condescend to try issues with his political adversary, and hopes of a "shaking among the dry bones" are indulged in by the majority of the electors. Major Atkinson has had a long lease of his pre» sent seat, and it has been entirely due to the fact that he never had a candidate of any standing pitted against him. There is no other constituency that would be likely to have him, at least in Taranaki, and probably nowhere else. It is well known and freeiy admitted that Sir , George Grey has done more to advance Taranaki, than ever Major Atkinson could do. The Major pledged himself to carry through the New Plymouth Harbour Railway Bill, but when the least objection was made, ne abandoned it, Pukbkohb. — Pukekohe has resumed its usual serenity, the excitement of the week having subsided, vis i the bazaar and concert, held in the Protestant Hall, for the purpose' of liquidating the debt on that building. The bazaar was opened on Thursday and Friday when all the goods were disposed' of satisfactorily. The concert was a decided success, the local talent being well represented. The leading features were, a comic song "The Mulligan Guards," by Mr Wilson, which 1 he rendered fairly well, though he would have done better had he pitched it a note lower. A sentimental song by Mr R. Bilkie Was really well sung. Expectation ran high when it was announced that a Miss Slater was to sing. She gave "Speak to me, speak," but was evidently suffering from nervousness. Her next attempt was more in her line, when she sung " He's not a marrying man" (she still thinks so). The next, was a comic song "The five o'clock 'bus"ahwv " I kissed her and she did not say no." (the latter is certainly Ted's forte). Miss McMeekin then sang very sweetly, "Watching for pa." "Nil desperandum," by Mr J. Wright, in his usually., forcible manner (no one ever did expect he would despair), was the next effort. Mr E. Bilkie next gave "The Union Jack of Old England" correctly and with spirit. Miss Wright played "Home sweet home " fairly well. The last, and most savoury bit, was sung by Mr T. Ansell "A; good old Irish stew." The Misses Wright arid j Bilkie kindly played the accompaniments. The hall was then cleared, and a great many young people remained for the dance...*. . Sitting on young men's knee 3is certainly bad form. Ted must have been teaching his experience of a ride ' in a "Five o'clock 'bus.". Oh! fickle Sam! ! already chucked up the new importation To ' all appearances the young shoemaker intends ' matrimony ; hope it will last It was not a very j graoe-i ul act of the young lady in pink to sit on a gentleman's knee. Mangonui. — The tidal wave has had a grea* effect here. The barmaid of a local pub. got married on a Monday, and the new-made bride eloped on the following Sunday, and has not since been heard of The servant of our " dominie " has also disappeared mysterously since Sunday... ...It was rather mean of the landlord of the local pub. to present his account for pounds extras to the unfortunate bridegroom, after receiving ten pounds for keeping open house on the night of the wedding The deceased "wife's sister" refuses to leave, so the " match " will not come off , and the engaged young lady leaves for the Thames...... ls the " merchant's " clerk engaged by the mate to look after b. 13 interests while absent? I wonder if Liz and Sid were viewing the stars from below the "Observatory" the other night ? It was fortunate that the D .W.s S. (deceased wife's sister) was absent at the rink when the "intended" was shown over the premises, else there would have been a row The " merchant's " scribbler narrowly escaped getting hia countenance disfigured the other evening, he owes bis escape to his ignoble position la it true that the licensee of oneof our local "pubs." is guaranteed his license owing to his business relations with a certain official, notwithstanding the adverse police reports? The landlord of the " Settlers'" has forsworn barmaids, owing to the actions of the last two, the attraction being more outside than inside .Our local publisher has been complaining for some time of the dull times, and advertises a great Clearing sale, and, in addition to his large and varied stock, offers the following new publications by local authors, at greatly reduced prices : — Traits in the character of a gentleman, especially as to his conduct in church, by T. j The effects of the " mighty dollar," by the late Mac. ; Does preaching pay ? or the effects of a change, by same author; Difficulties of getting manuscripts overlooked before mail closing, by G. j Inconvenience in the way of matrimony, by G. ; Importance of Steam " Agency," by R. W.j A few historical incidents in the life of "Scotch. Bob " during the last twenty years, by R. M. H. ; A simple treatise on the "Foot and Mouth disease " with a list of remedies, by C. H. ; The effects of our northern summer and frosts, by W. H. ; The effects of ballast on the " merchant's " sensitive mind, by W. j *Ares and 'Oounds, by our local postmaster ; A few inconsistencies arising out of combining preaching and commerce, by the kauri gum parson.

The Tidy Housbwiks.— The careful, tidy housewife, when giving her house its spring cleaning, should bear in mind that the dear inmates are more precious than houses, their system needs cleaasing, by and she should know that there is nothing that wijl do it so snrelyaa Hop Bitters, the purest and best of all medicines. Look for.