THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

Observer, Volume 2, Issue 49, 20 August 1881, Page 570

THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

— At the Scottish "fud" George Downie's song brought down the house. The broad (Scotch) wit was fully appreciated. — A lick T. rode all the way to Waitekauri the other day to pay his respects to his inamorata. It isn't every fellow would travel 40 miles to see a girl. — Since certain ladies heard 'Arry Lawrie recite at the Sunday-school entertainment their case is quite hopeless. They have giggled ever since. • -Paddy Hobart, of the bank, would not be introduced to any of the Thames ladies during his short stay here. Wasn't good enough, was it, Patrick ? — Mesdames H. and P. are perhaps not aware that they were observed peeping in at the Kink dance through a broken window. — The ladies are positively dying to see Jeroboam perform on skates. Rejoice, oh maidens fair; the youthful brewer will make his debut at the forthcoming reunion. — Tom 8., the ex-skipper, is recovering from the terrible disappointment he experienced some time ago. Life's still worth living, old man. What's this I hear about more spoonifications ? — Some very pretty dresses were worn at the Presbyterian dance on Tuesday, though the " haristocratic" portion of the community were not well represented. Miss Jessie Smith was the belle of the evening. — Several gentlemen have heen heard to say that if they could only have an opportunity of getting their digitals round the nasal appendage of "your own," whoever he is, they would go to bed and die hnppy. — What is this I hear about the Mayor's visit to Wellington. Wilkie looked as pleased as Punch at being allowed to visit the Empire city at the expense of the Borough burgesses. — It is too blessed bad to see the way a gentleman, whom we forbear to name, persecutes a certain little milliner with hiß attentions. Anyone can see with his eyes shut that the girl detests this object of Darwin's researches and uses every artifice to avoid meeting him. — I hear on the best authority that a certain bank manager, who took a prominent part in Mrs Alexander's dance, never paid a penny towards the funds, though he used the place frequently to entertain his friends. Of course he gave his valuable services. — A new quadrille assembly was opened in the Academy of Music on Wednesday, and promises to have a successful season. The committee consists of twelve persons, including Messrs Gellion, Hennelly, Gudgeon, Ferguson, Walker, Wildtnan, and Cook. —Many of the local vendors of the Observer will be sorry to learn tbat rollicking Martyn Puckey, late of block 27, is disconsolate. His engagement with, a young lady of Mongonui has been broken off. — Two of our prominent citizens indulged rather too freely in Kinahan's whiskey at the Hotel the other evening, and on their way home got into trouble with the blue-coated guardians of 'the peace. Awkward having new bobbies, isn't it ? — Young Marsdon, one of 'your Auckland commercials, was down here on Saturday, and quite took the fancy of the girls, some of whom I heard express unbounded admiration for those downy " whiskers" of which he is the proud possessor. His return is anxiously looked forward to. — There were ructions between several of the " unco' quid " of the Scotch Church committee and the ladies of the choir as to the holding of a "hop" after the concert on Tuesday. After a severe struggle, fortunately unattended with bloodshed, the fair sex came off victorious, and a very pleasant " kick" was the result. — Fergusson's sniggering at the girls interfered very much with his fine bass singing at the Pres» byterian concert on Tuesday evening. My dear Hughie, if you wish to flirt with the young ladies, why don't you do so sub. Rosa, and not allow the audience to witness your amatory attempts ? — The first practice of Harrison's Negro Minstrel Troupe took place last week, and was a decided failure. If the performance of Saturday is to be taken as a criterion of their ability, I would strongly advise Dick to dispense with the services of the orchestra and procure those of an accomplished pianiste. — Long Willie S., the energetic foreman of Dan's Shortland establishment is steadily gaining favour with the fair sex, and is esteemed quite a lady killer. He may be seen meandering through the suburbs with at leasb two of the dear creatures every Sunday afternoon. — It is authentically stated that those bosom friends, Mrs H., of Pollen-street, and Mrs P., of the aristocratic suburb of Parawai, have declined to tako ■ any part whatever in the performance of the comedy " She Stoops to Conquer " in consequence of an alleged slight, and it is just possible that it will not eventuate. — Is it true that the captain of the No 2 Scottish refused to present, officially, a testimonial which had been subscribed for by the corps to the late painstaking secretary, Bob Hudson, on his departure for the provincial metropolis ? I can hardly believe the rumour, as the skipper is really a jolly good fellow j but if true, some explanation is required. — Little Aebie, of Parawai, was heard to remark the other evening, " Aw, the only way to tweat the Observer is to take no notice whatever unless it becomes personal ; and — aw — then I would be under the painful necessity of kicking that " cowespondenfc fellow." Bully for you, Aebie; name the place and ho\u*, and I am there. — Adam Porter appeared in a new character last week, and filled it very creditably indeed. I refer to his pleading in the cases at Waihi, in which £20,000 or £30,000 was at stake. I verily believe that if Adam had been educated for a lawyer he would long ago have proved an ornament to the profession. He's got the grit in him. — Everybody says, (and what everybody says must be truo) that the way those Golden Calf directors treated Tom Crawford, was simply disgraceful. They kept Tom in their service for nearly two years at a disgustingly paltry remuneration and then, when his quondam friend Ronald offered to do it gratis, told him he was no longer required. — Miss Kate S. has just returned to Tararu, after a protracted stay in the metropolis. She says she never enjoyed any month so well as that spent among the Auckland chaps. Dame Rumour hath it that she has left her heart in the custody of one of your city beaux, and will shortly supplement it by the addition of her hand. —The Presbyterian concert was an unqualified success, and a good round sum will be available for

'expenditure after all expenses have been liquidated. TVtiss Ferguson's ballad was really well rendered, and the young lady deserved the applause which followed. -Holly Dick Wiseman's comic song on the scenes at the ■flood was intensely amusing. This gentleman is like wine — improves ns he grows older. — To the Editor : Sir,— l see by a late Star -that it is proposed to hold a select Quadrille Party in he Academy of Music. Appended to the notice is a list ■of names, containing some well-known gentlemen, which I suppose is to a certain extent a guarantee of the respectability of the concern. Recollecting, as I do, the many living souvenirs of the last series of naval dances, I would warn parents against allowing their daughters to patrouise this select quadrille assembly, to which none but gentlemen who " pay at the doors" (like a threepenny waxworks show) are to be admitted. If. they permit their girls to attend, and any unpleasant consequences ensue, they will look back to the warning given with a feeling of regret, and will wish they had taken the advice of— A Parent. — The champion mean woman of the Ihames, whose husband draws a fine salary, astonished the youthful and prepossessing assistants who attend a hemist's shop in Shortland the other dav by sailing into the disijensary as majestically as if she were Lady Gordon or Mrs Timmiiis, and producing from her reticule four small medicine bottles, which she intimated to "Billy " her intention of selling if she obtained an adequate price for them. The young man, who, it is almost needless to say, was quite taken aback by this exhibition of meanness on the part of the leading lady of the district, offered her the usual price for the articles ; whereupon the dear creature waxed wrath, and, picking up her skirt, flounced out of the shop in double-quick time, at the same time expressing disgust at the sordid motives with which the young gent, was imbued. — The committee of management of the Kinking Club are neglecting their duties, and 1 have been requested to call their attention to that fact. The accommodation in the way of dressing-rooms for the ladies at the monthly dances is lamentably deficient, whilst the dust in the building is almost inches thick. The accumulated "dust of ages" may be poetical, but is decidedly out of place near ball dresses. Again, a penny dip stuck in an ink bottle does not look well at an aristocratic " hop," although it may be in place at a Maori kani-kani ; and it is to be hoped that at tlie next gathering of the kind a proper light hi the ante-room will be provided. On the last occasion the hall was used for this purpose, a lady happened to knock over the primitive candlestick, and found to her dismay that it contained a quantity of black ink, some of which spattered over her dress — the best, without doubt, in the room— aud considerably injured it. She offers to nitiate a penny subscription to purchase a tin candletick, to be presented to the energetic secretary, together with an illuminated address, at the close of the season.