BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 1, Issue 7, 30 October 1880, Page 51

BRIEF MENTION

— What's in a name ? Heaps. Many men do Bills, but no man was ever known to do a Benjamin.

— Paddy Doran is out of pocket by the Rees' benefit. Poor Paddy.

— Mr. Finch thinks it is about time another native meeting was held at Kopua.

— Uncle John was opposed to the' Cambridge show being held, how therefore could it be a success.

— Will " Mercury " try and send me a few paragraphs every week. His articles re the Fancy Balls were capital, only they came to hand a little late.

— Whoever made the claret cup for the Ponsonby Fancy Ball "drowned the miller." It was just cold water with a dash of claret in it.

— Lovely woman's boots cost as much now-a-days as a walking funeral. If, however, you want a cheap pair, go to Garrett Bros, without delay.— [Advx.j

— A brother of M. Lenoir, the French master, at the Auckland Graininer School is, according to the •' Luminary," doctor on board the Dayot.

— Mr. Hurst is going to sue the Cambridge Farmer's Club for obtaining his presence at the show under false pretences. Heavy damages, too !

— Times appear tn be improving. Garrard made his appearance on the stump last week all resplendent in the glories of a new straw hat.

— Mr. Crombie, of Ngaruawahia, is flourishing like the green bay tree. Hotel life appears to suit him admirably.

— W. H. G. Kingston, the popular author of "The Three Midshipmen," and one of the best writers of .boys' books ever known, is, I regret to see, dead.

— The head master of a large school, which shall be nameless, thinks nothing of throwing a small form at a refractory pxipil. Not good form, is it ?

— Poor old Abe Fletcher looks quite down in the mouth. Perhaps he's afraid ho won't get the job of hanging Joe, the Fijian. He received £20 for the last follow he " turned off."

— The proposed partnership between Joe Tole and Nat Brassey will not tako place, as Joe's Catholic friends object to him being " unequally yoked with an unbeliever."

— Last Friday evening Mr. Brown, who holds forth at the Christian Meeting-house, immersed eight converts. Some of them looked as if they saw cold water for the first time for years.

— It is understood that a worthy medico, who is about to commence tho practise of his profession at the North Shore, has come into a considerable fortune.

— According to the "Herald," the Eev. Mr. Isitt dislocated his shoulder whilst walloping his horse. He must be a splendid specimen of a muscular Christian ! !

— Sylvester Maguire is one of the oldest and best mail coach drivers in the Axistralian colonies. He can talk Maori faster thau the natives themselves, and fairly dinnbfounders the Hauhaus who mount his vehicle.

— I have cabled to Melbourne for a case of Colt's revolvers, six life preservers, four knuckledusters, Kelly's armour, a dozen sword-sticks, and a boat load of bull-dogs. In ten days the staff will be armed to the teeth.

— The Mormon elders are going to immerse some more of their converts in the Graving Dock. Fortunately Gleeson's hotel is not far off, and they will be able to drop in there and get something to take the chill off the water.

— The fuss at Cologne means that the Cathedral (the most famous specimen of Gothic architecture in the world) is at lost finished. The building has occupied 632 years, viz., from 1248 to 1880. The tower alone cost £750,000.

— The Rev. W. Calder is the funny member of the Synod. At last week's meetings he bobbed up and down like a jack in the box, talked about his parish "whopping" another hollow, and was generally very entertaining.

— Can any of the young ladies Avho exercised their powers of fascination, with such happy results, at the Cambridge bazaar, explain how it was the Rev. Mr. Bull, in nearly every case, won the articles raffled, and then raffled them again?

— There was a good deal of sherry and lemonade drunk at the Rink Fancy Ball, in fact two or three youngsters became a little merry towards the close. It is whispered that one gallant tar so far forgot himself as to use language of a very funny kind.

— The whole plot of the donkey business was laid in the house of a J.P., who is one of " our most respected citizens." This gentleman has a " down "on the Observer for publishing a caricature of him and saying he isn't popular.

- — The stewards at the Choral Hall Ball appear to have given great satisfaction. A correspondent writes : " Unlike the general run, they were always to bo found when wanted, and numerous were the demands made upon them by solitary couples in want of a vis-a-vis.

— McM/urdo tells me that had there been a fight on Monday, Frank Hull was going to be kind enough to take my side. Frank, you know, has odd antiquated ideas of honour and fair play, and doesn't quite understand the new game of forty to one.

— John Grey did a plucky thing the other day in Queen-street. Some man left his horse and cart in front of the National Bank, and as the horse suddenly bolted off, Mr. Grey ran and caught it, and probably prevented something serious.

— "Josey," said his wife, with chilling severity, " I saw you coming out of a public-house this afternoon." " Well, my darling," replied the gay Wesleyan, "you wouldn't have your husband staying in a public-house all day, would you ?"

— No wonder those who drink the Auckland ■water suffer. I hear that the filthy and festering matter of .Mount Albert boiling down establishment trickles through the scoria into the very channel of supply. The Mount Eden Board are at last waking up to this fact, and will formally bring it before the Council.

— Mr. Beattie, the able editor of the "Bay of Plenty Times," pushes the policy of conciliation too far. A Tauranga gentleman, now in town, tells me that in trying to please everyone he pleases no one. This is the usual resiUt of attempting to be all things to all men.

— Mr. J. M. Lennox is very indignant about the paragraph in last week's Observer, referring to Mm. He says that his feet are not particularly large but that, rather than the etching of them should not appear, he will pay for the extra paper used. Eash man ! it will make a large hole in his income.

— Early on Monday afternoon a friend of Mr. Hopkins's came up and interviewed me on the pretext of wanting a paper. Why this was done I know not, unless, indeed, that gentleman wished to make perfectly sure I was a weak man, and that he, his bulldog, and his merrie men could overpower m .

— By the death of Lord Stratford de Redcliffe, the Hon. George Edgciunbe, male progenitor of Mr. E. M. Edgcumbe, proprietor of the "Waikato Times," becomes "father" of the Diplomatic Service, which he entered in April, 1821, as attache 1 at the Hague! He retired in 1859, and is now in his eighty-first year.

— Major Jackson is expected to oppose Mr. V. A. Whitaker for Waipa at the next election. Major J. is a bit riled. He does not like the way Government are carrying on— stopping capitation, 10 per cent., &c. What a joke it would lie if the Major were to turn Greyite. Sir Gfeorge would die happy.

— Both at Ponsonby |md the Choral Hall great inconvenience was caused by sundry young men insisting on waltzing every round dance on the programme. When this obnoxious habit is persisted in, the stewards should interfere. The enjoyment of the many ought not to be sacrificed or the convenience of a ew.

— Mrs. Croesus has been adding an Art Gallery to her house in Parnell, having been told that it was the correct thing to do. Her last purchase is a painting of the Nymph Eurydice, or, as she pronounces it, "Tour a dice," adding that, for the life of her, she can't make out what kind of a game the young woman is .playing, nor where the dice come in.

— Simple agriculturists, at the Cambridge Cattle Show, were at first under the delusion that the elegant and noble looking stranger, who hovered near the pig styes, was the new Governor of New Zealand, Sir Arthur Gordon. On enquiry, however, they learnt it was a much greater man, namely, their old friend Bertie Saverna !

— Tauranga's loss will be. Auckland's; gain. Mr. Dugald McKellar, who seems likely_ to be transferred here from the Bay of Plenty, is one of the quietest, pleasantest, and most gentlemanly men I have met in the colonies. He is immensely popular in Tauranga, and will be greatly missed by a large circle of friends.

— "Retorter" writes fmm Ngaruawahia to to say that "Retort's" severe verse in reply to the " Cambridge at home "is to be found on page 74 of the "Cream of Fun." He adds, "Failing the wit to be original, * Retort ' might have had the common honesty to acknowledge his indebtedness, and not palm off as his own the goods he had purloined."

— The committee of the Young Men's Christian Association refused to admit the Eev. George Brown to membership, because he could not endorse their interpretation of the constitution, although he oftered to subscribe to the constitution itself. The less said in future about the breadth of the T.M.C.A. platform the better.

—In last Friday's issue the " Star " published a telegram from Duiiediu, containing the same news about Captain Babot, late of the " Hydaspes," as nppeared in that day's Observer. The name of the ship was, however, given wrong 1 . It is to the " Northumberland " and not to the " Durham " the worthy skipper has been appointed. Captain Ashby is my authority for the statement.

— A much-loved bill-broker,late local preacher, grocer, &c, is fond of being thought a lover of high art in the way of pictures. Occasionally, he is woefully taken in — retributive justice, you know. Now, here is a fine subject for any rising local artist— "The baffled bill-broker, or the donkey wot wouldn't go." Old 60 per cent, would purchase it cheerfully — to prevent its being shown around. — One of Mr. Hopkins's acquaintances (I could mention names if I chose) advised that gentleman to ask me, in a friendly manner, to go to the Club and have a drink, and then, when I was alone and defenceless, to fall upon me and give me a good thrashing. As an instance of out and out blackguardism, this beats anything I ever heard of. I need scarcely say that, Mr. Hopkins, being a gentleman, snubbed the brute.

— If I were indeed the illnatured scandalmonger some folks make out, I could now retort on my enemies in a most damaging and effective manner. The names of the persons indirectly mixed up in the donkey business have been repeated to me, and as they include at least two J.P.s (no wonder tho roll of justices wants purging) not to mention several merchants and business men, their publication would cause no small sensation.

— The manager (not the general manager) of one of the most important banks in Auckland considers that the idea of getting Abbott's donkey, and hiring a lot of larrikins to put me thereon, was a capital one. The old notion of "fair play being a jewel" is, in his opinion, exploded. "Better," he says, "make things safe, and run no risks ! ! !" Noble creature, no wonder you are so dearly loved.

— During the "week the talented Hart family have been giving their delightful entertainment, at the theatre, with varied success, doubtless owing to the inclemency of the weather and dullness of times. On Tuesday night Mr. Hart took his benefit, and was well patronised, the audience thoroughly enjoying Mrs. Hart's Highland Fling, and the eccentric dancing of automatic Tommy.

— That there are more "ways than one of of getting a living as well as killing a cat is shown by the way the so-called "unemployed" euchre people. It isn't long since Dr. Maunsell bought a spade for a man to dig his garden with, and the fellow went straight off and sold it. The other day, too, a man — a tradesman — did a similar kindness to a man who abused it in precisely the same way. This sort of thing doesn't tend to make one compassionate.

— A recent paragraph, in reference to a ladykiller with Hyperion curls has caused considerable sensation amongst the young fellows of one of our local churches. They all claim to be the individual referred to, and each one is jealous of the others. The curlyheadod boy, who is principally remarkable for his selfesteem, may rest assured that he is not the Adonis referred to, and sundry other ypuths, who do not boast of golden hair, and who are not ironmongers' assistants, may consider themselves out of the running.

— GustaveDore, when illustrating "Paradise Lost," spent many days in endeavouring to pourtray the rage of baffled revenge. If that illustrious painter had been in Shortland-strcet on Monday afternoon he could have caught the idea from life. Shylock's flushed and distorted visage, when his idiotic scheme against the Observer collapsed, was indeed a study. It reminded onlookers of the expression on the face of Melter Moss, in " The Ticket of Leave Man," when it was all up with his "little game," but it is not complimentary to Melter to institute any comparison between his features and those of old 60 per cent.

W' — Put a beggar on horseback and he'll drive to the — well, the question is debatable, and as controversy is not in my line, I'll keep to undoubted facts. One came under my notice the other day, and the only wonder is that the hue and cry has not been raised after Jack Mullaley. He rode home from the Whau on a — what do you think ? not on one of his unsavoury carriages which make the Eden Terrace people stop up their very key-holes at night, but on a cow. Probably had bought her, and was bringing her home, for he had her saddled and bridled, and was comfortably riding the poor brute.

— My Christchurch correspondent writes : "Is there any mysterious connection "between chess playing and good feeling. I ask, "because I remember when a tournament was being played between Auckland and Dunedin, some years ago, a capital oyster supper formed a not unimportant item in the programme. I was reminded of this on Saturday, when the Canterbury Chess Club entertained their antagonists, whom they had just vanquished, at a dinner, described by a local paper as ' most appetising.' By the way, one of the said antagonists was your quondam fellow citizen, SorgeantMajor Mason. Lucky Mason ! He is not a sub-inspector or inspector."

— Some strange communications find their way into the editor's box, at the Observer Office. Here is a specimen. (I have altered the initials in order to defeat the object of the writer, which is obviously illnatured.) "To the editor of the Observer : Dear sirWould you oblige me by inserting the following :— We hear that Miss D. J., star of , attended the sacred concert, accompanied by Mr. Z , the swell baker. Thank goodness her efforts have been rewarded at last. She has caught a beau."— l am, &c, Ellen . N. B. —l strongly suspect that my correspondent, Ellen , wanted to catch the beau also.

— Mr. J. D. V. Louch, of Tanranga, writes to request that I will contradict an account of an altercation between himself and Mr. B. C. Jordan, which he asserts appeared in a recent issue of the Observer. I am sorry to say I cannot do this, for the simple reason that having scanned the file of the paper from its commencement, I fail to find any paragraph in which Mr. J. D. V. Louch's name occurs. There certainly was a local referring to a playful squabble between a person styled Da Vincy and an auctioneer with the initals R.C.J., but why Mr. Louch should deliberately " fit the cap on" I can't conceive. Mr. 3Jouch says he as represented, in the par I speak of, as having used very bad language indeed, and also accused of swearing. He wishes the public to distinctly understand that he is a good boy, and never used bad language or swore a " big, big D" in his life (the italics are mine). He thinks my informant (really one of the most goodnatured men in Tauranga) must have been "actuated by malice in giving such an untrue account of what was, after all, but a very trivial matter." Joking apart, Mr. Louch, I think it is you who are making a paltry affair important. Supposing I did credit you with a big D too much, it wasn't anything so dreadful as to require a solemn contradiction.