IN LONDON COURTS.

Thames Star, Volume LXIII, Issue 17662, 13 August 1929, Page 7

IN LONDON COURTS.

HUMOROUS INTERLUDES. (From the London Daily Mail.) “The only wofk I do is as housekeeper for my husband.”—A woman at Bow County Con it.

Solicitor at Kingston-on-Thames: “Tiio notice, ‘.Milk from our own rows,’ is a white lie which has been known to everybody for years.”

Solicitor at Shoreditch County Court: “Would it be true to say that you have been drinking?” Witness: “Yes, water.” >r * * * Mr. C. Lee, the Willesden magistrate, to woman applicant: “Pleased to see you again,but I scarcely recognised you in. your new hat.”

Woman at Lambeth: “I want to take out a summons for peace in the home.”.

“I don’t believe there is a man in the world who knows what his wife intends to do five minutes hence.”— Mr. Justice Swift, in the King’s Bench Division.

Showman at Penge: “He threatened to hit me with, a skittle pin, and as some of these are made of iron I was frightened.” * Voice in in court (sotto voce) : “No wonder we cian’t knock them down.”

Mr. S. Lincoln, barrister, at Shoreditch County Court: “If you halve the number of miles an hour you are travelling that is the number of yards yon are going in a second.” .Woman at Willesden: “Is this the County Court?” • Magistrate: “No; the Willesden Police Court.” Woman: “Ah, I’ve read a lot about it.” “My wife’s language may not be' of the best, but .it ‘is to the point.”—A man at Shoreditch County Court.

Man at London Sessions: “I was completely camoufl aged. ’ ’ Mr. Wilberfo’rce', deputy chairman: “Do you mean that?” Man: Yes; I was flummoxed.”

Defendant at Hendon: “I am living on the generosity of the income tax authorities. I owe them £39, and they took £l9 and said they would see later.”

Willesden woman: “My husband lost his fishing tackle and I lost my mandoline, but my boy found a bicycle and the police charged him with stealing it.”

Judge Cluer, at Shoreditch County Court: “I have a 1909 bicycle which is so good that it won’t puncture on the worst roads in Essex.”

Husband at Tottenham: “I cut down my wife’s allowance, but she used to spend more in a wpek on lipstick and powder than I do on cigarettes.” A

Debtor's letter to Shoreditch County Court: “It is to be regretted that I have been unable to pay anything further off this account.”

Judge Cluer: "Yes, regretted by the creditor.”

Wife at Tottenham: “My husband makes niore fuss of the baby than me, and says that he would rather stay at home looking after baby than take me out.”

Man at Tower Bridge: “] am very thankful that the police arrested me.” The Magistrate, Mr. Oulton: “I

hope you will not trespass on their kindness again.”

Judge Cluer, at Shoreditch County Court: “Lords are not drunk; they are moire sober than a good many other people.”

Woman at Tower Bridge: “My husband assaulted me because be did not back the winner of the Derby.”

Two remarks by Mr. Cairns, the Thames magistrate:— “There is no hatred like the hatred of irelativcs.” “Some women go off like machine guns.”