DEAD EMBERS OF LOVE.

Thames Star, Volume LXIII, Issue 17528, 17 January 1929, Page 8

DEAD EMBERS OF LOVE.

MANNERS OF THE MARRIED. It is a tragic thing that every year the divorce lists seem to become larger and marriage admittedly more difficult to pull off successfully. There are far too any who make fiascos of it. Looking around upon my friends (writes Ursula Bloom, novelist, in the London Daily Mail), I can-truthfully say, that I know of only three happy marriages. It is rather an appalling thought. Something is wrong with it. or us. and in my opinion the shockingly bad manners' of the married are to blame; Marriage seems to offer itself as an excuse for bad manners, and while this goes on, how can it be a success? He reads the paper at breakfast; he would never have done it in their engaged days, or now if the. merest acquaintance were staying with them; but it’s only his wife, so it doesn’t matter. She does not change at night when they are alone. Why should she trouble? It’s only her husband. They make a point of telling each other their faults; they are unforgivably personal about little defects—and phrases once employed have a nasty habit of .sticking in one’s memory. In the engaged days when they met, each strove to entertain the other-; conversation was bright; they endeavoured to be amusing, each to attract. But unco married, why bother? Every now and then,, when somebody else drops in, they make the effort, but it becomes more and more, difficult. Gradually the art of attraction rusts away. They arrive at that pitch when they deliberately laugh at each, other before their friend?; they labour under the delusion that they are being clever. It is always so easy to bo witty at the expense of manners, but it is also the lowest and crudest form of humour. Last- of all comes the realisation that they have made a failure of life’s greatest adventure. There is no retracting. It is impossible to fan to fire the once-dead embers of love. The Victorians, who certainly made more of a success of marriage than we do. went to the other, extreme. They called each other sir and madainie, they were politeness personified; they perhaps carried it too far. But there is a lesson they can teach us. We want more happy marriages. We want more manners for the married.

Illustrating the chivalry of the Maori in tho old days to the visiting, bowlers at Otaki on Sunday last, it was recalled that there was an historic occasion during the Waikato War, when a British force was seriously beleaguered in an impromptu fort, where they were cut off from all support, and there seemed to be but two alternatives left—to fight to the last man or honour- , ably surrender to the enemy. Probably on account of stories as to the fate of captured prisoners the Britishers had no intention of surrentltymg but it was obvious to their Maori besiegers that the defence could not be sustained., as tho British force—menof the Imperial forces—were running ■ out of food and ammunition. This; with civilised people, would have meant: the end of the story, p. the Maoris 1 only had to wait to starve the toe out, but that was not their way. What did they do but send in supplies of ammunition and" food to the beleaguered. saying that it wap no use fighting a foe who was without food or” ammunition. Possibly this was the most unique- example of the highest chivalry in war ever known to exist. It showed' a spirit and an imagination that lifted the Maori far above, most of the : aboriginal races, and indeed above many who boasted a higher state of civilisation.