BREVITIES.

Thames Star, Volume LIX, Issue 16627, 24 October 1925, Page 5

BREVITIES.

(By AGATHA GREEN.)

A large lobster was recently captured alive eight miles from Dover (England). It is supposed that the shellfish, as a reprisal against the many attempts to Channel swimmers, was trying to walk across England.

Barbers are said 'to be complaining about the past month’s rainfall. The complaint arises from the length of the faces they have to shave when it rains.

A well-known writer states: —“Life is the definite combination of heterogeneous changes, both simultaneous and successive, in correspondence with external co-existence and sequences.” Pessimists who declare that life'isn’t worth living should be glad of this information.

A play maniac is described as “an inveterate theatregoer who, being laid up in bed, has bis-Shakespeare propped up on the mantelpiece at the other cud of the room, and, to create the right atmosphere, reads it through his opera-glasses.”

A morning paper says the weather during the past month has not been as depressing as that of 1913.

Nothing like putting the weather on its mettle. * # # *

Mr. Whiteside says Mr. Rhodes doesn’t know anything about flax. Mr. Rhodes may ask himself a question about this-. # * # #

The return to the gold standard in America need not necessarily be construed into an attempt to get Mr. Dempsey into the ring

“Young girls are too'fbhiT of eroeftiiting and knitting, instead of doing the work of the house,” complains a writer in an evening paper. In other words, they do fancy work, but don’t fancv work.

A medical correspohdent to a weekly journal says the influenza germ “is on the eve oP being discovered.”

This tends to verify a report that it is proposed to identify the germ bv the finger-print system. **‘ * *

The mystery of the non-appearance of settled summer weather is now explained. It appears that there is a certain amount of bad weather left over from last year which must be worked olf first.

A hen which was recently fitted with a wooden leg is said to have ‘become bow-legged. It is possible that the poor bird mistook its artificial limb for a perch, and had been roosting on it with its other foot.

Taking everything by and large, Afid oho MUftideratidn with Another, it is now felt that the appointment of the Clerk of the Turua Town Board and the Clerk of the Hauraki Drainage Board as a Commission to settle the amalgamation of Boards question may not be acceptable to the Horahia Board.

Agatha leaf ns that when Parliament re-assembles the opening chorus will b.e “Ours is a nice House, ours is.”

For a Shorthprn l.mU sold at Buenos Aires Cattle Show, the record price of £12,000 was paid. Our butchers pay more than that—judging by the price of steak.

As a Launceston golfer was stooping to pick up a ball a pea-rifle bullet passed through his cap. Another couple of inches and it might have put him off his game. * # * * THE GREAT CROSSWORD CABLE PUZZLE. LONDON, Oct. 17. Although the shipping strike has been a miserable failure in all ports, every vessel obtaining, a full crew and sailing on time, all vessels still remain tied up. It is confidently expected that all vessels that managed to sail on tnne to-day will, in order to convince the public that the strike is broken, remain tied up overnight in order that they may make another departure to-' morrow. Vessels continue leaving up to schedule daily, but most of these return at night in order to repeat the process on the morrow. This procedure is causing them to rust at their berths and grow barnacles on their keels.

Vessels tied up at Bristol managed to get away to-day, although they, left four days ago. They will probably get away next week. v Seventeen vessels sailed from Hull to-day. These departures were the result of errors on the part of the different owners. In order to rectify the errors and satisfy cable-readers, the owners have decided that the whole 17 vessel:; will sail twice daily (Sundays excepted! until the strike is settled. Fiftv thousand seamen held a strike meeting at Liverpool last night. They ridiculed the idea that a strike existed. Owners declare that the strike was completely collared, hut state they do not intend relaxing their efforts to bring about industrial peace until the strike ecjifice shows definite signs of cracking. Fourteen vessels are idle at Avonmouth. They sailed without alteration of schedule but are without crews, and will probably remain so until our Cable Editor,recovers from the nervous breakdown which affected him on learning that the present strike was a mere rumour, spread for revolutionary purposes by Bolshevik emissaries.—McJones. . e :