IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Thames Star, Volume LVII, Issue 16072, 5 April 1924, Page 6

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

THE SILVER WEDDING. J XTEIIESTING YARNS. M. Le Vicomte Sorignv, “a very distinguished member of the Frenci Embassy,” was present at a silverwedding celebration of a Bishop. “'J’he Vicomte leant over to his neighbour, and asked, Sotto voce:— “Tell me, moil cher, vot ees dis silvaire vedding vitcli ve celebrate? J. do not quite onder-stand! “Ob,” replied Foster Blythe (the Bishop’s nephew), ‘don’t you know: Why. my uncle, the Bishop, and my aunt have lived together for twenty five years without ever having been separated, and without an angry word having passed between them.’ “Ah!” exclaimed tlie diplomat, heartily, a light breaking in upon his understanding. ‘ And now ’e marry her? Br-ravo!"

This is told in a book of great cheer. “Yarns Without Biot” by Major Harding Cox. to whom the public who love good anecdotes are indebted for more than one lively volume.

“THE DROONIN OF O’ MFXVn." An old story with a new twist: “Angus Mat-Brain presented himself to tlie Boss of the Oloughangour Works and doffed his bonnet. “Hoo’s a wi’ ye, man Angus? Wha" can I dae for ye the deer’ was tlie

great man's greeting. “A Veil, Mister Macrae, I Ua s jvoKiu along the can-al the noo, uhen i -see the McNab i' the vvatter-r. He nasea in oot, “Ah, in droonin.’ Ah’m droonin’!” “I ken wee I yere droonin - , MeNab, I ses. “but ye need’na male’ sic a roo about et!’ - # -\lan Angus! hastily and an.viously interposed the Boss, ‘Yc* did’na pull liini oot?’ “Na.. na! 1 just let dim croon! “(‘Braw lad!’ interpolated Mister Macrae, heaving a sigh of intense relief and patting Angus on the shoulder.) “‘An’ I hae come uae-rre, Boss, tae be sneerin’ ye tae gie me his job.’ “Ae re tae late, laddie.’ replied Macrae shaking his head. ‘Foreby, ah Ye gi’en et, the noo, tae Sarclv Fraser, wha pushed aim : en! ’ A DOUGH-BOY IN LONDON. | Wilbur G. Bunk was a dough-boy i who had crossed the herring-pond during the war and visited London:-- . “Just before closing time, he burst! into the Lapp it up Lounge and flew to i tlie Par. 1 “Say. kiddo,” he shouted to him j whom he designated tlie Bar Tender, i ‘Sli]> me a double poison, pronto! I’m j fignrin Use gotta fpiit ’fore the great j rows materializes.’ So saying (and having gulped down the alleged whisky as handed to him) he proceeded to call for a repetition ol the dose, which was duly provided. “The barman was intrigued.

“Boggy pardon, sir,’ lie said, respectfully. ‘but would you mind tollin’ me about this “great row”? What is it ? Where is it ? “Wliv. sure!’ said Wilbur G. Bunk. ‘l’m figurin’ it’s right here. Fsc got no money."

“BILL JOFiXSTOX’S JOY BOOK.” A Laughter book that originated on * the other side of' “the herring-pond” is “lb., Johnston's Joy Book,” edited bv Wtn. Johnston and illustrated bv Claude Shafer. Bill Johnston’s sense of humour is distinctly cosmopolitan. Scotland is the home of manv of his I yarns and they have been flavoured 1 with American phnisoolocv | • “While in ftdinbnrgh attending the

convention three of the delegation attended cliarch, .each tightly clutching in his mitt the thin dime he intended to contribute when the plate was pased. Consternation reigned with the trio when the minister announced that this particular Sunday an effort was to be made to raise tlie mortgage, and asked everyone there to make a substantial offering. During tlie prayer our local contingent held a whispered consultation as to the solution of their dilemma, and reached a satisfactory decision. Ben fainted, and Uncle George and Walter carried him out.”

The Vicar: “Vour sons arc really terrible, Mr Little. Dont you ever inflict a little corporal punishment on thorn?” Mr Little: “No, 1 have never hit my boys except in self-defence."

“Dad, what is a ‘sino qua non’?" Don t bothei m. now, Ethel, t haven’t had tho car long enough to understand all these technical terms?"