MODERN PHILOSOPHY.

Thames Star, Volume LVII, Issue 15127, 18 February 1922, Page 6

MODERN PHILOSOPHY.

All girls are women, that’s the ■difference, between girls and boys. Boys. • go. on being boys long after they’re men;, girls can be women from birth. 1 It was, of course, absurd of me to be shocked by Rose’s choice of a husband. I suppose that there never was a girl yet whose selection did not cause surprise. . The strange thing to male observers of these matches is the want of fastidiousness that even the nicest women can display. ' One of the strangest things in life is the ease with which people who are fond of each other do not meet. Our tendency is to run in grooves, and find it difficult to leave them. Or to change the metaphor, no matter how big the world is, most of us are at heart 'villagers. ■Most telephone wires, could they be induced to repeat all that they have ever transmitted, would have some odd things to tell. What we call passion is usually a mixture of a certain amount of loneliness and a certain amount of curiosity and a certain amount of appetite and a tremendous desire *to escape from what one is doing and have an adventure. ' '■ Even if ships that passed in the night signalled to each other the whole passenger list there would always be a few of the steerage and some of the crew unnamed. And if those were revealed, there would still be a stowaway! E. V. Lucas, in “Rose and Rose.” OLD FIFTY-TWO. “NOW LISTEN TO ME.” “Once upon a time there was a World’s Fair in Buffalo,” writes Safed the Sage. “And there Avas a Railway that ran into Buffalo from the region toward the going doAvn of the sun. And its officers said among themselves, Go to. Let us run a train against time, and peradventure we shall beat the World’s Record for a Long Run. “And they took two fine new locomotives that had been built to haul the Empire State Express, and they brought one of them to Chicago, and the other they placed at Collinwood, Avhieh was midway and nigh unto Cleveland. THIS WON’T DO. . ' “And the first of these' fine ! 1 new. Locomotives left Chicago, hauling a Baggage Car and a Day Coach and a Parlour Car. And in the Parlour Car were the officers of the company. And they had Instruments Avhereby to Register Speed. “And the fine neAV Locomotive pulled out of Chicago and hastened toward the Sunrise. And it made a good run, but Avhen it pulled into Collinwood, it was Three Minutes under the World's Record for that distance. ( “And the Officers said: “This will never do. The other new Locomotive must do better. “And as they were starting to hook up the other new Locomotive, behold, they discovered a Broken Valve. And they said: We cannot

use that Locomotive. “Then Avere their hearts heavy. “But they said: Give us an Engine of some sort, for Ave must get to Buffalo. “And the Yardmaster said, Behold Ave have only one Locomotive •in the Yards with fsteam up, and f that is Old Fifty-Two, that years "ago Avent off the main line, and hath long been hauling Local Freight on a Branch Line. “And the Officers said, Give us anything that hath Wheels and a Boiler, for Ave must get on to Buffalo. “So they hooked up Old FiftyTwo. “Noav the Engineer of Old FiftyTwo Avas no longer young, but in his day he had been a Great Engineer, and he knew his Engine. And he said: “Old Girl, Ave will give them a Run for their Money. “Noav the Officers Avmre sitting in sackcloth and ashes, when they chanced, to look out of the Avindow, and behold, the Telegraph Poles Avent by like a Picket Fence. And they looked at their Instruments, and behold, they Avere going SixtyFour Miles an'Hour. “And they began to Sit Up and take Notice. , “And after a time they looked, and Behold, they Avere going Seventy Miles an Hour. “And they became greatly interested. '■ “And the Fireman Avas sprinkling in the coal and keeping the steam pressure just where it belonged, and behold, the train climbed up to Eighty-Four miles an Hour. And 'Avhen they pulled into Buffalo, the telegraph Instruments along the way

were hot Avith the reports of the flight of that train. And the World’s Record for a Long Distance run was broken. 1 NOW LISTEN. “Noav listen unto me, all ye men who stand idly upon life’s sidetrack thinking that there is'no great place in life for you. Hauling freight on a Branch Line is no disgrace, but highly honourable. Yet are there men who are fooling away life on Short Hauls of Less than Car Loads Lots, Avho ought to get out on to Life’s Main Track, and 'actually Get There. “I am no longer young, but I am running on the Main Line, with the Throttle Wide Open, and the Track Clear; and I invite other men Avho are no longer young, but Avho are capable of Going Some, to back out of the Round House, and undertake some job AA'orth while, and reneAV their youth.”